


Going Home for Christmas

by secretcswriter



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Friends to Lovers, Modern Royalty, Mutual Pining, Returning Home, Sharing a Bed, Tropes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-20
Updated: 2021-01-04
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:20:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 53,463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27866750
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/secretcswriter/pseuds/secretcswriter
Summary: When Killian Jones’ best friend Emma Nolan asked him to come home with her for Christmas acting as her fiancé, he never could have guessed what it would mean. Captain Swan with hints of other pairings!
Relationships: Captain Hook | Killian Jones/Emma Swan
Comments: 21
Kudos: 70





	1. The Proposition

**Author's Note:**

> Hi all! I originally began posting this story over on Tumblr/FF.net about 3 years(!!) ago and I'm finally back to writing it again, so I thought I'd bring it over here! Please enjoy and Merry Christmas! :) I'm posting every chapter that's already been shared at once - up through chapter 7 - and will be hopefully updating once a day through the end with new content. Please leave a comment if you're so inclined!

**Chapter One** **|** The Proposition

Killian Jones stares across the table at Emma Nolan, a woman he would consider to be one of his closest friends, if not his best friend. She’s remarkably pretty, even with no makeup, slightly greasy hair tied back, and a slightly large tee shirt she got at a Red Sox game.

She’d texted him earlier this morning, begging him to meet her for a late afternoon lunch at the Starlight Diner, one of their favorite places to go for their coveted chats, and being the good friend he is, he’d thought nothing of it.

Now, as he sits with her, watching how she slowly eats her favorite greasy burger, he realizes something’s wrong. Not in a dangerous sense, but there’s something clearly on her mind. She hasn’t said much at all to him since they met up at the front door of the diner, eager to shake off the cold of the winter.

“What’s going on?” he asks.

Slowly, she looks at him, away from the intense gaze she’d once held with the frosty window to the outside world. She seems skittish and afraid, something entirely un-Emma.

“I need your help,” she says, just a hint of desperation in her tone. “I’ve had this trip back home planned for…  _ forever _ , and my parents are paying for it because it’s been a long time since I’ve been home for Christmas.”

He stares at her, waiting for her to continue. He can sense where this is going already, but it hasn’t yet, so he’s the slightest bit hopeful she’ll surprise him.

For at least a minute, all he can hear is the melody from “Little Drummer Boy” that gets stuck in his head and he finds himself staring beyond Emma at a little boy propped up on his knees, pressing his fingertips to the cold windows to draw silly faces.

Looking back at her, he clears his throat. “And?”

Emma presses her tongue between her lips and avoids looking at him as she speaks, “And I… may have told them I’m engaged.”

He tilts his head to the side slightly, grieved that she wouldn’t be honest with her parents.

“What? Emma-”

She shakes her head. “I know. But they were so excited when I told them I was getting married. I don’t want to admit to them that I failed them again. I mean, first there was Neal and they thought we were soulmates, and then that fell apart-” Emma stops herself. “I can’t go to them  _ alone _ at Christmastime after  _ years _ of not going home at all. What does that say about me?”

He would consider himself a good person. Not a  _ great _ person, of course he’s got his faults, but he’s at least good. But this? This might be where he’s got to draw the line.

With wide eyes, Killian shakes his head. “What? Darling, I know I’m devilishly handsome and I exude fiancé material, but this is just… nonsense. They’ll love you regardless.”

Emma’s shoulders fall as she pops one of his fries into her mouth. She wears a crease in her brow and tosses her head back just slightly before falling back against the red cushion behind her.

“Killian, you don’t know my parents-”

“Don’t beg,” he says, holding a hand up in front of him. “I won’t hear it, Emma. I won’t say yes to this.”

Her attention goes to her plate and she stares at it for a few incredibly long seconds as the first bars of “It’s The Most Wonderful Time of the Year” start up.

Killian finds himself getting uncomfortable at the sight of her. Emma doesn’t touch her food. That’s how he knows he has no choice in what he’s about to agree to.

He presses his tongue against the inside of his cheek and sighs heavily through his nose as he plays with a fry on his plate. “When are you due to leave?”

Emma looks up at him, smiling in a pleading way without saying anything. “In a few hours.”

Killian closes his eyes for a moment before he huffs a breath and grabs his mug of hot chocolate to sip. “And what do your parents know of this man you’ve agreed to marry?”

She sits upright again, suddenly much happier.

“I told them we’d been going out for a while,” she says. “But I didn’t tell them his name or what he does.”

Killian lifts an eyebrow at that.

Emma glares back at him. “What? I was being careful.”

Killian sighs. “Alright. So, say I do this for you. I go home with you and we spend the week with your parents…”

“It’s just for the week,” Emma insists. “I can tell them what happened when we’re safely back in New York.” She has a bite of her burger. “No harm, no foul. They’ll just think it didn’t work out.”

While he’d like to tell her she’s being a completely naive fool, acting so cavalier about going home with a man at her side that she doesn’t intend to marry, Emma’s had a tough year. From losing her job in the spring to a particularly hard break up in the summer, she’s become determined to finishing well.

He’s not the kind of person who would support this kind of behavior normally. But it’s Emma, his best friend, who has had a hard year, and he knows she wouldn’t ask just anyone for help like this.

The way she anxiously averts her gaze, nibbling on her lip while she watches the rush of traffic outside of their window, is nearly enough for him for him to give in, if not for the sad look in her eyes when she finds his again a moment later.

“Please, Killian?” she asks quietly. “I just can’t go home alone.”

His brother Liam will throw a fit, he’s certain. They have their holiday traditions and if he leaves with Emma for the week, they won’t be able to spend all of Christmas Eve in their neighborhood soup kitchen, or Christmas Day sitting in front of the television while they watch their favorite films.

But it’s Emma, he thinks he might be a good person, and this is what a good friend would do.

On a deep sigh, Killian awards Emma the slightest smile. “Well, I suppose a week away wouldn’t be the end of the world as we know it.”

Emma’s eyes water up just a smidge and she beams at him. “Killian, thank you. You’re saving my life.”

His heart skips a beat and his smile spreads. “Anything for you, darling.”

\+ + +

“So let me get this straight. You’re going home with this woman, wherever that is, pretending to be her fiancé, because she’s  _ lonely _ ? Killian, of all the ridiculous nonsense you’ve gotten yourself into over the years-”

“Li, I know,” Killian sighs. He stands in his bedroom, folding laundry while his older brother and roommate stands in the doorway, throwing a juggling ball one-handed against the frame and catching it again. “She’s just… I can’t say no to her.”

Liam snorts. “Well, of course you can’t. You’re bloody insane. And you’re in love with this girl.”

He stares at his brother wide-eyed for a frozen second. Liam’s words nearly cause him to forget what he’s doing. He manages to keep his calm as he settles a pair of jeans into his suitcase.

He’d known telling Liam he wasn’t going to be home for Christmas wouldn’t be easy considering all the facts, but he hadn’t thought it would lead to a full and complete argument over the morality of the situation.

It’s making him regret his choice, because Liam’s older and he’s always been right, but deep down, he knows what’s right is being there for Emma. They’ve been friends for five years. She’s helped him in more ways than one, just by being there for him, so he knows it’s time for him to step up and do the same for her. 

“I’m not in love with her.”

Liam steps into Killian’s room, blessedly giving the juggling ball a rest. Killian looks up at his brother.

“You haven’t had a single girlfriend since you met her.” Liam states. “You spend all of your time over at her place, even when she had that idiot furniture salesman as her lapdog.” His brother gestures outwardly in frustration. “And you’re always talking about her. I cannot think of a single conversation I’ve had with you recently that hasn’t ended with you telling me about something Emma said or did. I think I know more about her than I know about you lately!”

Killian sighs. He gives his brother a hard look. “I’m not in love with Emma.”

“Right,” Liam scoffs, tossing his hand at the luggage. “Look at you. Look at what you’re doing. Packing to go visit her parents during  _ Christmas _ \- of all the times of year- just because she’s yet to find anyone to spend her life with. Name me one person in your life that would be crazy enough to do something like this for you.”

Killian stares at Liam, his jaw falling agape as he considers an answer.

“That’s right. You can’t. Because the answer is  _ nobody in their right mind _ .”

“Liam, it’s just a week.” Killian says. He knows his argument is weak, but continues adding clothes to the suitcase in order to pretend it isn’t.

“A week!” Liam laughs. “A week pretending to be engaged to a woman you’re passionately, madly in love with. Do you even know what engaged people act like, little brother?”

Killian’s jaw clenches and butterflies swirl in his belly.

“Oh, would you quit it?” he blurts out, too frustrated to let this continue. He looks up at his brother. Liam searches his eyes. “I’m not a child any longer. You usually know better than I do, but you’re wrong about this. I’ll be fine. She needs my help and I’m going to help.”

Liam stares silently at him for a few seconds. His arms fall against his sides, hands colliding with his body noisily. “Fine. I can see there will be no persuading you otherwise.”

Killian shakes his head. “No. I’m going.”

His older brother sighs. “Very well. I suppose so.” He drops his gaze and plays with his juggling ball, twisting it in his hand ever so timidly. “I’ll miss you for Christmas.”

Killian can’t keep from smiling just a little as he finalizes his clothing selections and settles them into his bag. He drags the zipper along the side after closing the cover.

“I’ll miss you too, Liam. I’ll be back the day after and we can have our day after Christmas sail.”

Liam nods in agreement. He sighs. “Alright. Don’t get yourself hurt, Killian. This might end very badly.”

He can tell his brother doesn’t mean to fight him this time. Instead, he’s purely concerned for Killian’s well being. He pulls on a smile and settles his suitcase on the floor beside himself.

He sighs, allowing himself to think of a possible future where things have gone straight to hell. He doesn’t disagree with his brother that this is a terrible idea- of bloody  _ course _ it’s a terrible idea- but he figures that he owes her this, at the very least.

A week of playing pretend in a quaint town like the one she’d described to him, with her parents who seem lovely, can’t be as bad as it seems on the surface.

“Well, let’s just hope it doesn’t.”

\+ + +

Killian meets Emma at the only moderately festive check-in area at the airport and immediately he can see a positive change in her. Gone is the nervous homebody and instead, an Emma he hasn’t seen before.

She’s wearing a Christmas red dress that brushes her knees, makeup, and her hair has not just been cleaned- it’s been trimmed and curled around her shoulders. A bright smile ties the look together, as well as the breathless greeting that she gives before she comes to a stop beside him.

“You look…”

Emma glances down, a tiny smile on her lips. “I know.” She clears her throat and glances around the area before turning back to him again. “So… there’s just one little, tiny thing I haven’t told you.”

Killian frowns, brow furrowed. His stomach clenches in anticipation of something he hadn’t considered coming to light, perhaps altering what their week will entail. “What?”

She opens her mouth to speak, but both of their attentions are stolen when someone calls out her name, “Emma!”

She turns and smiles at whoever it is. “Leroy. Hi.”

Killian finds himself staring at a shorter man with a balding head. He’s dressed in a uniform of a sort, presumably for an airline, and his smile is bright.

“Emma, it is so good to see you again. I’m glad you’ve decided to fly home.”

Emma smiles softly. “Yes. I know. I’m overdue.”

Leroy chuckles. He turns to look at Killian and his eyebrows lift. “And is this…”

“My fiancé,” Emma nods. Suddenly, she takes his arm and all he can think is that she’s incredibly warm and she smells  _ perfect _ , like sitting by a warm fire in the forest. “Killian.”

Killian smiles and tilts his head at the man. “A pleasure meeting you.”

Leroy seems slightly skeptical of him, but nods. “Alright, well, if we’re gonna make it before dinner, we better get going.” He grabs both of their bags and begins to walk away from them. He glances over his shoulder even as he moves on ahead. “Follow me, if you would, Your Highness.”

In the second it takes for him to realize what Leroy has said, Killian’s eyes widen as Emma removes her hands from him. He turns to her, finding her grimacing slightly at the use of the formality.

It’s clear to him that this isn’t how she wanted him to find out about her little secret, but that doesn’t quell the shock or the questions that populate his thoughts at a speed of at least a hundred miles a minute.

Trying to stay calm and tempered, Killian lifts his eyebrows and presses his lips together for a moment before asking, “What’s this, now?”

Emma takes a few steps forward, turned toward him still. “I… didn’t tell you and I’m sorry, but,” She smiles at him, as if that helps matters at all, “I’m kind of a princess.”

His eyes widen. “Bloody- what- Emma-”

“I know, I know,” Emma says in a gentle voice. She reaches for his arm to get him to move forward. “Come on.”

They’re walking side-by-side now, Emma still holding onto his wrist as if it’ll help him stay on task.

“Wha- why didn’t you-”

“It was a secret.” Emma tells him lowly. “I’ll tell you my life’s story when we get to the plane, but you need to pretend like you know it already.”

His brow creases frantically and he can’t find the words to speak. “Emma, this is bloody insanity. You want me to pretend I’m engaged-”

“Shh!” Emma gestures ahead of them, at Leroy who has begun to lead them outside.

Killian lowers his voice in a whisper. “Being pretend engaged to a princess isn’t what I signed up for.”

“I know,” she cringes apologetically. “I’m sorry.”

“Emma, we need to talk about this.” Killian whispers. “Why should I come with you now?”

With the utmost seriousness, she says, “Friends don’t abandon each other when they learn about each other’s past.”

“I’m not abandoning you,” he defends himself. “I’m in shock. My best friend of five years is a princess and I’m only hearing about it in the middle of the airport on our way to lie for a week to her family, who apparently are king and queen, not just mum and dad.”

She slows to a stop and so does he. “Look, I’m not going to make you come with me.” Emma says quietly. She glances away from him, at the direction Leroy had been walking. “But Leroy already knows you’re here. And that we’re engaged. If we don’t go home together, it’s going to look suspect.”

She has a valid point, but it doesn’t loosen the knots in his belly or slow his heart rate. He drags his hand over his scruff and thinks about the situation, knowing they don’t have a lot of time to make a choice here with Leroy only steps ahead of them.

“Fine.” Killian shakes his head. He drops his hand to his side. “Since you’ve left me no choice in the matter. But know I don’t feel good about this, Nolan.”

Emma breathes a little easier and nods her head. He sees nothing but remorse in her eyes, something that helps him feel better. “I know. It’s my fault. I should have told you before we got to the airport.” She tilts her head forward. “We need to get going.”

He looks ahead, finding Leroy awkwardly standing a small distance away waiting for them.

“You coming?”

As easily as the breath she takes, she smiles, “Yes. Sorry.”

Her fingers lace with his, a reminder of the promise he’d made to her in the diner- that he’d be here for her, playing the part of her fiancé- and suddenly all he can think is that he is in way over his head.


	2. First Impressions

**Chapter Two |** First Impressions

The seats on the plane are golden colored with embroidered headrests that display the name of the country that Emma’s parents are apparently king and queen over.  _ Misthaven _ .

The name itself creates a picture in his mind, of a land far, far away. In a fairytale, almost.

It being a private jet, there’s plenty of legroom and the chairs that are actually luxury cushioned recliners they choose are sat in the middle of the plane, opposite each other with a couch on the other side of them.

After Leroy serves them champaign for the flight, he retreats to the cockpit with the pilot, and soon enough, they’re airborne, and Killian is entirely, completely in over his head.

While it’s just a taste of what royalty looks like, he feels as if there is no way he could possibly have ever prepared for it all: the gold lining on the windows, the embroidered headrests, the champaign, and the coffee table book titled  _ Seasons in Misthaven _ .

He finds himself fidgety, looking around the private plane instead of at Emma because he’s never been inside one before, and it’s easier than facing what the future holds by gazing into emerald green eyes.

There’s a giant television screen that displays a Christmas movie just beyond Emma’s chair on the wall, and the floor is carpeted colorfully. It’s unlike anything he’s ever experienced before in his life. Liam would be impossibly jealous if he knew his flight wasn’t crowded with holiday traffic like they’d grumbled about before Killian was out the door.

Slowly, he turns back to Emma. Dressed as she is, he could’ve assumed something was awry, but he’d thought she was just bloody gorgeous as ever instead. He’s a complete fool, isn’t he?

“It’s just a title.” Emma tells him, eyebrow lifted as she smiles nervously. “My parents let me leave for school and then I just stayed for a while. I was going to go back. I just… I needed time to experience life in the world and not in the bubble. You’ll understand what I mean once we get there.”

Killian holds his attention on her. He isn’t sure if he should be angry that she’s taking advantage of him or not. She walked him straight into this and he apparently should have known better that something was amiss with her in their friendship.

“Emma, we’ve known each other five years. I don’t understand how you could have forgotten to tell me about this.”

Her shoulders sag and she sighs. “I know. I’m sorry.”

The silence that follows is hard.

He looks away from Emma and at the window so he can see the clouds. The sun’s glow is orange and red, a harsh contrast to the cold of the winter air. Somehow, it’s more magical up in the clouds.

“Are you angry?” Emma asks shyly.

As much as he could be, he isn’t. She’d tricked him into coming along, yes, but they’re best friends who spend far too much time together than they do apart. He owes her this much.

Killian turns to look at Emma again. Sighing, he says, “No. I’m just trying to tell myself that lying to a bloody king and queen of a small country about my relationship with their daughter isn’t a crime.”

Emma frowns. “It’s not. And even if it is, I’ll take the blame.”

She’s pleading with him now, and it’s no different than the look she’d given him earlier today, only then she had just been Emma, his best friend, nervous as he’s ever known her. Now, she’s Princess Emma.

She’s still the same person, he has to remind himself. Just maybe a little richer and far more important than he’d thought.

“Well,” he sighs. “I’m here, aren’t I? I suppose the week will just be less about getting your parents to like me and more about keeping my head.” He manages a thin smile. “Any other surprises I should know about?”

He can see her thinking about this, as if she’s trying to decide what to tell him now and what to share in the future, and what she wants him to find out on his own. At this point, he’d rather hear it all for sake of not sounding or looking like a buffoon in front of King and Queen Nolan of Misthaven.

“I have a brother?” She offers. Emma smiles slightly and continues, “His name is Leo. He’s not hard to get along with. He might play tough with you though. He’s younger than me, so he thinks he has to prove himself sometimes.”

Killian takes a deep breath. “Alright. I think I can manage a brother. I have one of my own and we get on alright. Anything else?”

He watches her play with the ring wrapped around her finger- the ring he’d supposedly given to her upon their engagement. She shakes her head. “No other surprises.”

Killian scrubs his hand over his face and threads his fingers into his hair before clapping it against his neck.

“We’re still friends, right?”

He looks up at the nervous sound of her voice and frowns deeply. “Of course we are. Why shouldn’t we be?”

Emma shrugs. That tender and scared look fills her eyes, as if she’s afraid of losing him. “I don’t know. Maybe because I didn’t tell you who I really am.”

“Darling, I’m not going anywhere. I promise you that.”

She gives him a tiny smile. “Thanks, Killian.”

On a deep breath, Killian shifts in his seat and plucks his champaign up from the armrest. He tips it toward Emma before having a sip.

“Alright, so story time, then, hm?” Killian asks. He settles the glass down and claps his hands together. “I propose we keep the story of how we met the same. It’s easier to keep lies straight when they’re based in truth.”

Emma nods as she has a sip of her beverage. “Sure. That’s fine.” She pauses thoughtfully. “We’ve been together for a year?”

His face feels hot just considering what a romantic relationship with Emma would feel like, much less domestic and deeply devoted to the point of a marriage proposal. He studies her and allows his gaze to fall as he swallows thickly.

He’s going to have to pretend to love Emma Nolan and he’s not sure it’s going to be too much of a leap for him. The thought is terrifying, so he won’t allow himself to contemplate the depth of the situation just yet. They still need to get through traveling to the country of Misthaven.

“I proposed very romantically by the water at dusk.” He lifts his eyes to meet her gaze. With a confident smirk, he adds, “On the anniversary of our meeting.”

Emma seems just as flushed as he is thinking about all of this. She nods slowly. “Then I guess we have our story.”

\+ + +

They arrive at the castle via limousine, which by all accounts is the fanciest vehicle he’s ever sat in, aside from the plane.

It’s fully stocked with snacks, of which he can’t partake because he’s nervous over meeting Emma’s parents, and anyway, they’re due to have dinner soon. He’s been told it might be a fancy meal, with upwards of six courses, but Emma wasn’t sure.

He tries getting himself in the mindset of an engaged person instead of focusing too much on his nerves. He runs through the stories they’d come up with to tell about their engagement and dating history, and as he considers how he should act with Emma at his side, it dawns on him that he’s probably going to have to kiss her at some point.

Butterflies flutter around in his stomach at even the inception of the thought.

Of course, he’s thought about kissing her before, perhaps once or twice while they were tipsy in the back of a dark bar, but he’s always held himself at a higher caliber than the type to kiss one’s best friend whilst drunk, especially considering she doesn’t see him as anything but a friend.

When he looks away from the window that peers out at the snow-powdered and Christmas decorated streets of Emma’s domain, he finds her nervous, staring down at her lap as she fidgets with her fingers. She’s biting her lip, a nasty habit, and obviously trying to hold things together.

Killian reaches out and takes her hand, causing her to look up at him with widened eyes.

“You don’t have to worry, love,” he murmurs. “I’m here.”

Emma manages a small smile. To his surprise, she holds on tighter to his hand. “I know, I’m just…” Again, she twists the ring around her finger and looks away from him. She laughs to herself, shaking her head, “I was… kind of hoping I would have found somebody by now, you know?”

Killian feels a pang of jealousy- for what reason he isn’t certain. Thinking of Emma making this trip with another man she’ll just toss aside in a few months in tow just seems wrong. While he adores Emma Nolan with all he is, her choice in men is, and has always been as far as he can tell, dreadful.

These thoughts are followed by his own dread in reflection on his own life’s choices and how he hasn’t had a steady girlfriend in over five years.

He shoves the corrupt thoughts away and leans in close to Emma, pulling his hand away from hers so he can wrap his arm around her instead. She presses against him as if by instinct and rests her head on his shoulder.

“Believe it or not, I know exactly how you feel.” Killian finds himself saying. “Liam tells me it’ll happen when it’s right, but it feels awful in the meantime.”

Emma doesn’t move or speak for a few seconds, and when she does, she leans away from him and smiles a little.

“Yeah.”

He gets caught up in the impossibly warm feeling of the moment and in the way her fingers touch his gently. He finds himself wanting to hold her closer, but at the same time he knows he shouldn’t.

He searches her face and gazes into her eyes for far too long.

The car suddenly comes to a stop and they both jerk apart in attention. He clears his throat and looks out the window, a little more than curious about what sort of home the Princess of Misthaven goes to for Christmas.

What lies before them is the castle. It’s a great structure, beautifully lit with the warm glow of the setting sun. There’s a massive Christmas tree set in the center of the rounded driveway, proudly glowing bright even before night has fallen.

Nervous butterflies find their way back into his belly. Celebrating Christmas in a place like this is certainly going to be magical, if he can somehow get over the fact that he and Emma are lying about their relationship.

“So it’s actually a castle,” he says.

Emma laughs a little. “Yeah.” With a twinkle in her eye, she squeezes his hand. “C’mon. Time to meet my family.”

Even the vague thoughts he has of this moment frighten him to the point that his heart leaps against his ribcage. He follows Emma’s lead out of the limo, and he finds he doesn’t have to wait long at all to meet her parents. They’re waiting for  _ them _ , gathered together and practically jumping up and down with eagerness to finally see their daughter again.

“Emma, you look so beautiful!” Emma’s mother gasps.

She’s a pretty woman, with graying dark hair and a petite frame. She has a shawl on over her dress. When she looks over at him, he finds glistening bright eyes that remind him of his best friend.

Beside her, Emma’s father stands. He’s dressed more casually than he would’ve thought a king would, and he grins at the pair of them just the same. He seems kind and understanding, two attributes that contradict the fear Emma had expressed to him about being honest.

Emma’s brother Leopold is a twenty-something with much the same look as his father, right down to the chisel chin.

Emma laughs at her mother’s complement and accepts a warm hug. “Thanks, Mom.”

She turns to him and gestures to her family. “Um, so this is my fiancé, Killian. Killian, my mom, Mary Margaret. My dad, David. And my kid brother Leo.”

Killian chuckles when Leopold rolls his eyes at his sister’s introduction. He extends a hand for Mary Margaret to shake, but the woman shakes her head and holds her arms out.

“Oh, no you don’t! You’re practically family and family get hugs.”

He can’t help but grin as he goes in for a hug with the queen. After, he turns to David and tilts his head.

“How about you, Sir? Would a handshake do better?”

David chuckles and nods. “A handshake is just fine for me, Killian.”

So far so good, Killian thinks. He turns to Leopold after and shakes his hand too.

“It’s good to meet you. Do you prefer Leo…?”

The prince shakes it off. “Either way is fine by me.”

“Alright.” Killian smiles. He turns back to Emma and presses his hand against the small of her back. “Thank you for having us. You have a beautiful… castle.”

The royals laugh, Emma included.

“Thank you.” Mary Margaret says on a giggle. She gestures toward the door. “Let’s get you inside. I’m sure you’re starved.”

“Oh, you have no idea.” Killian says, hoping his lightheartedness will get him into their good graces.

As they walk toward the castle, Killian meets Emma’s eyes. She seems impressed by his behavior with her family, as she very well should be.

He smiles at her slightly. It’s not anywhere near over yet. There’s still far too much time for things to go wildly awry.


	3. Casual Royals

**Chapter Three |** Casual Royals

The castle is beautiful and vast.

He doesn’t get the full and complete tour, because it’s time for dinner, but instead he’s at least treated to the fantastical sight of the family Christmas tree in the foyer. It’s at least ten feet tall, with lights and ornaments that shine as bright as Emma’s mother’s smile as she describes every detail she can.

There are even a few gifts beneath, that he’s assured are just boxes in wrapping paper for appearances. Apparently, they have another tree upstairs somewhere that they’ll actually surround come Christmas morning.

If he wasn’t intimidated enough by the sheer size of the castle, when they sit in the dining room with a soft holiday radio blessedly filling the silence, he finds he’s not at all prepared for what a royal dinner looks like.

He’s seen plenty of television and movies to know there are probably proper ways to eat a royal meal, including which forks to use. Suddenly, he wishes he’d paid attention when Liam tried teaching him about this sort of thing years ago.

Killian is seated next to Emma, across from her parents, who smile warmly at him after they settle into their chairs.

“So, Killian, what do you do?” David asks.

The dread that rises up within him is unlike any other. He swallows before he gathers the courage to speak up.

With a quick glance at Emma for courage, Killian smiles at Mr. and Mrs. Nolan as best he can and says with a convincingly unwavering voice, “Ah… I’m a bartender at my brother’s bar. Sometimes I moonlight as a musician when we don’t have any bands lined up to play.”

David smiles. “Interesting. Do you play an instrument or-?”

Killian glances up when a servant comes alongside him to set his plate down and then he looks at Emma, who encourages him with a tiny smile.

“He plays guitar.” Emma says on his behalf. “And he’s really good. Maybe he’ll play something for us.”

He narrows his eyes slightly at her and she just grins. With his face burning ever so, he turns back to her parents and lifts his eyebrows and says, “Well, I suppose I could play something if you had a guitar I could borrow for a minute or two.”

“Do we ever,” Mary Margaret rolls her eyes. A plate is set down before her. “My husband loves collecting them, but never got around to learning how to actually play.”

The king becomes seemingly affronted, “Hey! I took lessons… once.”

Emma and Leo both laugh and the queen sighs adoringly. She shakes her head and stares at him. “Anyway, Killian, if you feel comfortable, we’d love to hear you play for us.”

Somehow, the way Mary Margaret smiles at him helps him breathe just a little easier. He looks down at his plate, discovering tomato soup with grilled cheese and onion rings. Emma’s favorites.

He glances over at her, finding her happily munching away at her onion rings.

The simplicity of the meal is slightly startling. He doesn’t know what he should do, so he looks to Emma’s parents and finds them handling the sandwich by hand and dipping it into the soup.

“So, do we have a date for the wedding yet?” Mary Margaret asks, practically jumping from her seat while Killian’s heart nearly stops completely.

He and Emma’s shoulders go stiff in panic, both of them having realized the same thing: this is  _ happening _ . While they might have answers for all of her parent’s potential questions planned, it’s not something he thinks he wants to dive into just yet. He’d hoped maybe they could have the night to settle in first.

“Sweetheart, I thought we talked about this,” David shakes his head. “We’re not talking about the wedding at least until tomorrow.”

The weight lifts from his shoulders, but only a little, when Emma’s mother sighs, “Alright. Tomorrow. And I want  _ all _ of the details.”

They fall into a companionable silence for a minute or two, listening to the soothing Christmas song echo against the walls. Killian finds himself looking at Leo, then at David and Mary Margaret.

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t think royalty had grilled cheese for supper.”

Mary Margaret smiles at him. “Well, it’s Emma’s favorite.”

“We don’t eat like you see on TV unless it’s a holiday.” Emma tells him.

“Ah.” Killian cracks a grin. “So watching the Princess Diaries won’t help me prepare for what’s to come?”

Laughter fills the room, even Emma joining in, as the family considers the hilarity of his joke.

“We’re… what did you say to your last girlfriend, Leo?” David asks, looking at his son.

Leo rolls his eyes slightly. “I said we’re casual royals, but would you stop acting like I get a new girlfriend every week?”

David gives Killian a look that he has to smile ever so slightly at. He glances over at Leo, who dips his grilled cheese into the soup and has a hearty bite.

“What’s the number up to?” Emma wonders playfully.

“Oh, it’s got to be at least one a month,” Mary Margaret says on a teasing sigh. Her eyes twinkle as she stares across the table at her son. “Don’t worry, Leo, we’ll try not to mix up the next one’s name.”

“Yeah, thanks for that.” Leo shakes his head. He looks at Emma. “While you were gone, Mom and Dad turned into old people.”

Emma laughs, almost choking on an onion ring. “They’re not  _ old _ , kid. Come on. Show some class.”

Leo rolls his eyes again.

“Yeah, Leo,” Mary Margaret scolds, “Emma brought her fiancé Bryan to dinner. Show some class.”

It’s quiet for a second before Killian starts laughing, loosening up the rest of the table to join in. He stares at Emma, finding her giggling so happily there are crinkles by her eyes.

The rest of the night goes infinitely better than he could have dreamed.

He has Mary Margaret, David, and Leo completely in stitches by the end of the meal, and they seem to like everything he has to share about his background and life.

It’s interesting to see how much Emma’s alike her parents, and how she acts around them as if she’d never left in the first place. He was right to say they’d love her regardless of if she had a fiancé or not. The Nolan’s are probably the kindest people he’s ever met.

He turns to Emma at the end of his riotous tale of something that happened between he and Liam, and finds that she’s laughing even though she’s heard this story a hundred times. He puts his arm around her on her chair and she looks up at him, awarding him the most gentle gaze he’s ever seen from her.

Things calm down as his heart flutters wildly over something so insignificant and he turns back to her family.

“Well, it’s getting late and I’m sure you need your rest. You’ve had a long day, haven’t you?” Mary Margaret wonders even as she stands up.

Killian takes her lead and rises. He helps Emma out of her chair, much to her surprise, and takes her hand with a small smile and a wink.

“Where are we staying?” Emma asks. “The cottage in town or-”

“Oh, I thought you’d like to stay in your room.”

Emma seems surprised. “You kept it?”

Mary Margaret gives Emma a hard look. “Of course we did. We knew you weren’t gone for good. Do you need me to come with you upstairs or-?”

Emma glances up at him as if to beg him to shut her mother down for her so he shakes his head.

“No, I think Emma can manage to guide us. Thank you so much for dinner, Mrs. Nolan. I certainly appreciate your hospitality.”

Mary Margaret blushes and smiles sweetly. “You’re very welcome, Killian. I’m so glad you’re here! We’ll see you tomorrow! Lots planned!”

Killian grins and waves at David and Leo. “Good night!”

“Good night!”

It only takes them a few steps outside of the dining room for Emma to turn to him and release his hand. Her eyes are wide.

“They’re  _ in love _ with you.”

Killian smirks. “Well, I am charming, aren’t I?”

Emma hums skeptically. She walks him toward a staircase and gestures up. “It’s a bit of a walk, I’ll warn you right now.”

She’s not wrong. The walk, while long, is beautiful. The interiors of the castle are very well throughout and glamorous, although quite  _ normal _ when he thinks about it. There are family photos on the walls and there are candles set out to give a delightful smell to the halls.

It’s safe to say his assumptions about the way this weekend was going to go have been changed for the better. They are, in fact, casual royals, as Leo had said.

Finally, Emma comes to a stop in front of a door. She pauses for a moment before turning to him with her hand on the doorknob, already turning it.

“Don’t… say anything,” she says, pointing at him. “Be cool, Jones.”

He throws his hands up in surrender while he follows her inside. “I won’t say a thing.”

Her bedroom, it turns out, is an apartment in size, with giant windows and hardwood floors and carpet where it’s appropriate. It’s comprised of a small kitchen, a sitting area made of chairs and a table, and a bedroom hidden behind a wall.

It goes without saying that the entire place is made all the more elegant by the Christmas tree filling out most of the room.

Emma closes the door behind him as he dumbly shuffles inside, trying to figure out where he should place his focus.

“It’s so…”

“Shh. Don’t say anything.”

Emma moves past him and walks toward the bedroom side of things. He stares up at the chandelier hanging over the sitting area and moves slowly to join her.

Her bedroom is quaint and her bed looks remarkably cozy. He’s surprised to find both of their suitcases sitting out waiting for them in her massive walk-in closet.

She’s standing in the center of it, running her fingers through her hair worriedly as she leans down to unzip hers.

He sticks his thumb out toward the sitting area. “You have a chandelier in your sitting room.”

Emma digs inside her suitcase. “I said don’t say anything.”

Killian’s eyes are wide as he steps into her closet and he turns to look at the clothes that she must have left behind.

“Bloody hell,” he says under his breath. “Emma-”

She looks up at him, pressing her PJs against her chest as she stands up again. “Welcome to the world I left behind.”

“It’s incredible.” Killian says, still not able to wrap his mind around where they are at the moment. “Why’d you leave again?”

Emma has a small smile on her lips that fades away as she approaches him. She looks into his eyes and down again, swallowing.

“I left because I wanted to fall in love for someone’s heart, not their title. It’s hard to do that when you have people breathing down your neck about finding a suitable husband. They said if I turned twenty-five and didn’t have anybody, then they’d set me up with somebody. My twenty-fifth birthday was in October. When they called.”

His heart swells at the words she says, and even more when she meets his eyes afterwards.

He had his suspicions about why she left this place. When she told him it was for school, he wasn’t sure he bought it. But this, he understands. After seeing the love her parents have for one another, it makes sense that she’d want a love like they share.

“You don’t have to sleep in my bed with me.” Emma says. “I’ll take the floor. You can have my bed.”

Killian blinks. “Uh… no, no, love, it’s fine. I can’t have you sleeping on the floor when I’m the guest.”

Emma gives him a weary look. “Killian… nobody should sleep on the floor.”

He smiles softly at her. “As your friend and not your fiancé, I wish to maintain some semblance of integrity with you, love.”

“Then we’ll share the bed.” Emma states. “No big deal. Friends share beds all the time.”

He’d beg to differ, but she moves past him with her PJs in her arms before he can get a word in edgewise.

\+ + +

Emma comes out of the bathroom smelling like honey and vanilla.

She looks happier, more relaxed, in her oversized sweatshirt and sweatpants. She sets her dirty clothes in her closet someplace and then returns to the bedroom, sighing happily as she sinks down on her bed.

He’d decided to take his shower in the morning, so he’s already lying in her bed, flipping through channels on her bedroom’s television.

Emma joins him in her bed and grabs her phone from her nightstand, as if they’ve done this every night for a long time.

She’s the first to break the silence, “My mom says, and I quote, ‘I like him! He’s very handsome. Very funny. Love how he looks at you.’ Oh, and there are emojis. Lots of them.”

Killian pulls on a smirk and lifts an eyebrow seductively at her. “Oh?”

Emma turns her phone toward him and he gets a look at the series of heart emojis followed by heart eyes emojis.

“Well, it seems I’ve made a good impression on Mum, then, hm?”

Emma rolls her eyes and smiles to herself as she pulls her phone back toward herself. “It seems that way.”

Silence sits between them and Killian stares at the do it yourself program he’s put on mute for sake of keeping things quiet for Emma.

“What’s on our plate for tomorrow?” he asks.

Emma shifts in bed and sets her phone down. “Well, despite my attempt at pushing it back, we have an engagement party brunch. And my brother just texted me something about maybe taking you out after.”

He hums. “Guy bonding. I get it. If we’re due to be brothers soon, I’d want the same thing.”

She turns to look at him as she pulls her ring off of her finger. “You know we’re not actually engaged, right?”

Killian smiles at her. “Of course.” He watches her set the ring down on the nightstand. “So, what other activities do I have to look forward to this week?”

His best friend hums a laugh. She turns to face him again. “Well, we’re definitely going on a tour of the country.”

“Obviously.”

Emma shakes her head and shrugs. “I don’t know. It should be a really easy week. Family stuff. Friends maybe. Christmas is usually really low key around here, which is… surprising, considering who my mother is.”

He hums thoughtfully. “And how do you think things are going so far? Are they up to your standards?”

Emma scoots down in bed and adjusts her pillows as she turns onto her side to face him. “Yeah. You’re doing a good job. Just have to get through the rest of the week and then we can pretend this never happened. Back to our diner and movie nights and living room sleepovers.”

Killian powers off the television, dousing them in darkness, and slips further down in bed so he can be at her level when he turns toward her.

“Is that what you like best about our relationship?” he asks in a teasing murmur.

Emma shrugs. “I like other things too.”

“Oh?” he asks. “Pray tell.”

He can practically hear her rolling her eyes. She tugs at the blankets and beneath the covers he feels her toes accidentally brush against his.

“I like… when you come over and make me food.”

“Oh, I see,” he hums. “Our friendship is built on me giving you things.”

Emma gasps. “No! I like it when we talk too. Like when we spent the whole night that one time sitting in my bedroom.”

He remembers it vividly, how the dark of the room slowly brightened and brought with it rays that warmed Emma’s hair prettily. How even in the quiet moments, he felt comforted in just being with her. It was a good night. One he thinks on fondly more than he’d care to admit to anyone.

“That was good,” he agrees in a whisper.

He finds himself staring at Emma, wondering if she knows that he’s counted every single freckle on her cheeks and he knows exactly what she’ll order if she’s not feeling adventurous. Or if she knows that he’s memorized her smell, or if she knows that he can recite by memory her phone number because he’s dialed it enough from phones that aren’t his own.

In this instant, Killian realizes that Liam was right. He’s in love with his best friend.

His heart suddenly aches for her, even though she’s right here, in the same bed as him.

“Good night, Killian.”

He has to clear his throat to speak. “G’night, Emma.”

Emma’s eyes fall closed and she curls her body slightly so her knees brush against his. It’s accidental, again, but his stomach jerks violently anyway.

The awful thought crosses his mind, finally breaking through the denial and the tough work he’d done to suppress it- he’s in love with Emma Nolan and he has been for a very long time.

It’s not an easy thing to accept. He isn’t sure he can. Not yet.


	4. Engagement Party Brunch

**Chapter Four |** Engagement Party Brunch

Killian wakes up to the smell of Emma in his nose, a pleasant scent he’s almost desperate to get more of.

He smiles to himself and shifts in bed, as if it’ll give him more of the smell. When his eyes peel open, he finds himself with Emma’s hair against his nose, while her body lies curled away from him.

Right. They’d fallen asleep together in her bed.

And he’s probably in love with her.

Right.

Killian rolls onto his back and claps his hand over his eyes as he steadies himself. Today they’ll celebrate their  _ engagement _ with her family, and he presumes her friends from this country of hers will be there too.

It’ll be interesting to see what she’s like with them, and to get the details of what she was like as  _ princess _ of this country.

Emma’s phone suddenly begins vibrating before a gentle alarm begins to play. Emma stirs slightly beside him. The song gets louder and louder and then she grunts and grabs for the device to shut it off.

Relieved, she sighs and collapses back into place.

“If you’re going to have a shower, you should do it now.” Emma says in a tired grumble.

Killian sits upright and stretches his legs out over the edge of the bed before he shuffles into the giant closet for his clothes.

He returns to the bedroom and finds himself staring at Emma for just a few seconds too long, enjoying the sleepy way she stretches her arms above her head while she rolls onto her back.

She looks over at him and it’s only then that he realizes he needs to move for sake of maintaining some degree of control over the situation. He pulls on a smile, lifts his eyebrows playfully, and goes into the bathroom.

It’s big and bright, with frosted glass windows letting the morning light in.

Killian sets his things down and turns to face himself in the vanity mirror. He meets his own eyes and sighs heavily.

“What have you done?” he asks in a quiet whisper. He lifts an eyebrow. “Better yet, what are you going to do?”

His reflection has no response to either question, so he shakes his head and turns to the shower to get his morning routine started.

\+ + +

“What do you do at an engagement party brunch?” Killian asks Emma while she rifles through her closet in search of a pair of shoes that will match the pretty white and maroon dress she’s wearing.

She’s a vision today, with her hair tied up in a ponytail that brushes against her back every time she takes a step and her long legs on display. It’s doing absolutely nothing for his heart.

“Um… I guess you celebrate your engagement over brunch,” Emma replies with a little quirk of her eyebrow. “And don’t freak out, but I think there are going to be a lot of people there.”

Killian narrows his eyes slightly as worry begins to stir within him. “Emma, you don’t think there would be… media photographers there, do you?”

He hears her stop moving. It feels as if the air has been sucked out of the room.

“Well, now that you mention it,” Emma steps out of the room, hands on her hips. She wears a worried scowl. “Yeah. Probably.”

Killian sighs. “I suppose we just have to play along. I mean, your family already loves me and knows who I am so it isn’t as if we can hide from anyone else.”

Emma throws her head back on a groan. “I just wanted an easy week.”

Killian moves quickly toward her and presses his hands against her arms. “Hey, they might not be there. It might just be brunch with your parents and Leo. Easy does it.”

She gives him a weary look. “You clearly don’t know my mother.”

He tilts his head to the side and smirks. “You’ve got me. I promised I’d help you however you needed it, so you need not worry.” Killian lifts his pointer finger to her nose and bops it. She scrunches her face up and laughs. “There it is. I’ve missed hearing you laugh.”

Emma rolls her eyes slightly, a smile still on her lips. She takes a step away from him and toward the nightstand where her engagement ring sits. She slides it onto her finger and turns back to him.

“Okay. You ready to take on the day, fiancé?”

“As I’ll ever be.”

\+ + +

Brunch is held in the ballroom, complete with an assortment of nearly anything he could ever possibly think up or desire all set out on tables beneath strung up lines of sparkling lights and flowers in mason jars on cloth in Christmas colors.

There are servants ready to help him at every turn, something he’d be overwhelmed by were he not taking avid notice of just how nervous Emma seems by all of the attention.

There’s a banner hanging over it all, with the words  _ Congratulations Emma and Killian! _ written on it. All around the room, there are a great number of individuals he hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting just yet.

Emma takes a steadying breath as they approach the party.

“You alright?” he asks lowly. He reaches for her hand and she takes it, gripping it tight.

“I don’t know yet. Let’s see how this goes.”

“Emma! Killian!” Mary Margaret practically sings as soon as she sees them. “Good morning!”

Killian chuckles and bends down to kiss her cheeks as she kisses his. “Good morning, Mrs. Nolan. This looks like a fantastic party.”

“Oh, I’m glad you think so.” Mary Margaret grins. She turns to her daughter, who has since let go of his hand and instead holds her own in front of her middle. “Emma, you look beautiful. Doesn’t she look gorgeous, Killian?”

Killian stares at Emma and takes in her look again. He’s made just the slightest bit breathless by it, even if he’s been looking at her all morning.

“Aye,” he says, surely smiling like a fool. “Absolutely breathtaking.”

Emma blushes ever so slightly, as if embarrassed she’s embarrassed, and looks away from him, at her mother instead. “So who’s here, Mom?”

“Oh, I invited members of the council and some of your friends.” Mary Margaret says. She smiles at Killian. “I hope you don’t mind, Killian. I know it’s probably awkward not knowing anyone.”

Killian shrugs it off. “No, not at all. I’m sure they’re all just as curious about me.”

Emma meets his eyes and smiles softly. “They’ll love you.”

He can’t help but feel encouraged by her words. He hadn’t realized he needed it before coming down to brunch and seeing all of the people gathered to, well, meet him. It’s a big deal, apparently, the princess coming home with her fiancé.

He supposes it  _ has _ been five years since she’s been back, so the excitement everyone must be feeling is exponentially more than he can fathom.

“Now, I know this is probably going to seem overbearing, Emma, and you can say no,” Mary Margaret says, already seemingly quite apologetic. “But I asked a few photographers to come and I had hoped we could get a few pictures out as our official announcement of your engagement a little later today.”

Mary Margaret looks between them with a nervous smile. He knows she means well, but an  _ official announcement  _ of any kind is terrifying in just about every aspect. He’s sure Emma will say no- she has to if she wants to maintain the secret nature of their pretending.

But to his complete and utter surprise, Emma wraps her hands around his arm and nods.

“Yeah. That’s fine. I don’t mind.”

She’s grinning when he looks down at her with widened eyes. His heart twists violently, her excitement to suddenly make matters worse for their situation making him ever more cautious with every passing minute.

“You sure?” he asks.

Emma nods. “Yeah.”

He takes a deep breath and lifts his eyebrows at Mary Margaret as Emma slides one of her hands against his to take it.

“Well, I suppose photos are in order, then.” he grins at the queen.

Mary Margaret giddily claps her hands. “Yay! Okay, well, why don’t you guys go grab something to eat, and in a bit, we’ll do the pictures.”

“Okay,” Emma smiles.

Mary Margaret flashes them one last smile with her hands clasped together above her heart. “I’m so happy you’re home, Emma.”

“Me too.” Emma replies softly and with a level of honesty he hadn’t anticipated.

He watches the queen wave at them before she’s whisked away by a servant. His heart races and he turns to Emma.

“Darling, not to panic you in the slightest by this decision to take photos for an official announcement or anything, but what on God’s green Earth do you think you’re doing?”

Emma grimaces and shakes her head. “I… don’t know. I got caught up in the moment. I…”

“Killian! Emma!” Leo’s voice interrupts Emma’s answer.

They both turn to her younger brother smiling. “Hey, Leo!”

“Killian, you ready for our hike this afternoon?” Leo asks.

Killian chuckles. “Are you kidding? I’m more than ready. I can’t wait.”

Leopold bobs his head and turns to his sister. “Emma, do you want to come with?”

She hesitates for a moment, looking between them. “Ah… no, it’s okay. You guys can do your bro bonding time without me.”

Leo grins. “Awesome.” He claps Killian on the arm. “Hey, I’ll be around. The waffles are killer. Don’t eat too much.”

Killian laughs warmly along with Emma’s brother. He waves back at the prince and turns to his best friend again, still grinning.

“To brunch, then, darling?” He sets his hand on her lower back and walks with her toward the tables of food.

As they approach, Emma’s attention is ripped away from him, instead to a few of her childhood friends, whom she gasps and embraces tight.

“Emma, it has been  _ so _ long!” a pretty blonde says. She grins at Emma sweetly, her hands pressed against Emma’s forearms and Emma’s pressed to hers.

“I know. I’m sorry!” Emma grimaces.

The woman looks at him as Emma wraps her arms around another friend, this one a brunette.

“Aren’t you going to introduce us?” the blonde asks, tilting her head towards him. She looks as if she could burst with laughter.

“Of course I am.” Emma turns to him, smiling wide. “Um, Killian, this is Elsa, and this is Aurora. Guys, this is Killian, my fiancé.”

His heart skips a beat to hear her say the words again. He beams at her friends and extends a hand to shake.

“Ladies, it’s a pleasure.”

Elsa and Aurora’s postures are important, which indicates to him that they might also be royalty, but he doesn’t know much else about them, or about anyone here.

“I’m so glad you were able to come for Christmas.” Aurora says. “We’ve missed you, Emma.”

“Yes, we really have.” Elsa agrees. “And now that you’re back, we need to have girls night if there’s the time.”

Emma grins as she steps back into his space. He wraps an arm around her easily. “Well, Killian’s going on a guy bonding hike with Leo later today, so we could see each other then?”

Elsa and Aurora seem to adore the idea. They both nod.

“I will make sure everyone knows and we’ll meet at our favorite spot.” Elsa says, keeping a wry smile on her lips. She looks at Killian again. “It was great meeting you, Killian. You seem very happy with our Emma.”

He smiles down at his fake fiancée and hums. “Aye. I like to think we’re quite happy.”

The girls laugh and Emma turns back to her friends. “I’ll talk to you later. Where are you sitting?”

“Over there,” Elsa gestures to a cluster of tables with people seated around. “Anna’s too pregnant to come over here and greet you herself. You know she would otherwise.”

Emma gasps. “No way! I had no idea!”

Elsa smiles happily and nods. “Yes. I know. I should get this plate of chocolate pastries back to her or she’ll have my head.”

Emma chuckles. “I’ll be right over.”

Elsa grins as she hurries off to the table with Aurora in tow. Emma moves away from him and smiles to herself as she grabs a plate and begins to decorate it with a meal.

It’s nice to see her happy. She seems carefree, and it’s for that reason, along with the fact that there are ears everywhere, that he doesn’t press the engagement photo issue again.

He supposes it will hurt more when it’s all over, for her parents at least, but for now there’s no harm in playing along.

He and Emma make their way to the tables alongside her father, who has a lot to say about all too much. He seems to have taken too much of a liking to him, but he doesn’t mind it. Having not grown up with a father, there’s part of him that craves this sort of attention.

They sit together near Elsa and Anna, and Anna’s husband Kristoff. The man is quiet, but when he has something to say he says it with a happy smile.

Killian finds himself glad that all of these people are here, even if it’s a rally together for an engagement that won’t last. Maybe it’ll mean Emma will want to come back home. Even if he selfishly doesn’t want that, because he doesn’t want her to leave, it does seem like she fits here, and he knows her family wouldn’t say no to her return either.

Emma sits close enough to him that when she turns, he gets her hair brushing against his cheek and her fingers brush against his thigh from where she’s holding onto her chair.

She turns to him to smile at a story Leo’s telling about something Emma had done as a young girl, something silly regarding Leo and a jar of peanut butter, but it has everyone laughing.

Dare he even think it, he feels as if he belongs here.

“I would like to make a bit of a toast,” David says as soon as Leopold’s story winds down. The king stands from the head of the table near Mary Margaret. “Emma, I’m so happy you agreed to come home and introduce Killian to us. And I’m glad I finally get to meet the man who will one day soon be part of our family.”

Killian smiles, although starting to feel a little uncomfortable. Emma’s fingers press against his leg to stop it from jiggling as frantically as it’s begun to and he turns to her at the sudden pressure. She smiles softly at him, as sweetly and lovingly as he imagines she would if she loved him.

His heart skips a beat.

“It’s been a few years since I met Mary Margaret,” David continues, prompting a little bit of laughter from the gathered, including Mary Margaret. David grins down at his wife happily. “We’ll be celebrating thirty years of marriage soon and I can’t imagine what it would be like if we hadn’t ever met.”

Mary Margaret’s smile is wobbly and her hands clasp together over her chest as she mouths the words, “I love you.”

David turns to the group with a happy grin. “I guess what I’m trying to say is, Emma, Killian, you’re about to start a path down the most beautiful and messy and frustrating years of your life. But when I look at you, and the love that you share, I know you’re going to make it a long, long, happy marriage.”

Killian quite honestly isn’t sure how he’s still breathing, with the weight of the king’s words bearing down on him like this. Emma’s hand is still pressed to his leg, and his stomach is in knots. He regrets having eaten half as much as he did now.

“Just… don’t let your kids near the peanut butter jar until they’re old enough to use it wisely.”

Resounding laughter rings out throughout the tent and Killian’s reaction is slow, only encouraged by Emma, whose chuckle is soft in his ear.

He turns to glance at her and covers her hand with his as a source of comfort.

David lifts his glass. “To the happy couple.” 

It being a toast, Killian lifts his glass to do the same, again, taking Emma’s lead.

“Here here!” Leo cheers with a wink sent their way.

It’s only as they’re toasting their glasses that he realizes there are photographers in the room, capturing the moment, and Killian’s stomach tosses all over again. He turns to Emma, eyebrows lifted as he savors the taste of the champaign.

She smiles at him gently, if a little nervous, and he finds himself staring at her lips.

He’s too far gone for her, isn’t he?

“Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!” a cheer suddenly sings out.

Emma shoots whoever said it a quick glance over his shoulder, and he’s just cognizant enough to crack a playful grin as people start tapping their glasses with silverware as if it’ll coax them into it.

“Well?” he asks Emma.

She searches his eyes and shakes her head slowly, grinning just a little. He makes the first move, leaning in close with his eyes shut, and as soon as their lips touch, it’s all he can do but start floating up out of the castle.

It’s the most magical feeling, kissing her, as if a dream come true.

Killian reaches up to cup her cheek and he delights himself in what moments remain of this blissful experience. He isn’t sure if she feels it too until when he leans away, completely breathless, and finds a shell-shocked look in her eye that’s quickly replaced when she realizes where they are.

She smiles shyly to herself and a blush finds her cheeks at the cheers, whistles, and claps.

It’s just a kiss. It’s just a kiss. It’s just a kiss.

No, it’s not. It’s so much more than a kiss.

They return to their meals quietly while the room buzzes with excitement and he looks to Emma to see if she’s alright after what just happened. She seems just fine, although she sits back in her chair as opposed to eating anything that’s left on her plate.

He opens his mouth to ask if she’s alright, but he’s interrupted when Emma’s nice friend Elsa comes to stand behind them, her hand gentle where she sets it on his shoulder.

“Excuse me, lovebirds, but I have a present for you.” Elsa smiles wryly.

Emma turns to face Elsa with her head tilted sideways and a puckered smile at her lips. “Elsa-”

“We at Arendelle Estate would love to have you come visit us for our annual New Year’s Eve banquet, ball, and fireworks spectacular.” Elsa says quickly. “And you have to say yes, because it’s been  _ five years _ , Emma Nolan.  _ Five _ !”

Emma laughs. She bites at her lip slightly and turns to look at him. They communicate silently, with raised eyebrows and half-smiles. He hopes she knows that he doesn’t want to extend the charade through the new year, but it’s hard to say, considering they’re going to be taking engagement announcement photos at some point in the near future.

“We…” Emma turns back to Elsa smiling apologetically, “have to get back to New York right after Christmas, and we already have plans for New Years with Killian’s brother. Sorry, Els. You know I’d love to. It’s always so fun.”

Elsa sighs. She shakes her head and looks at Killian. “Bring you brother along! It can be a new tradition!”

Killian winces briefly. He’s still in disbelief that this is happening, and somehow they keep making it worse. If things keep moving this fast, they’ll be married by Christmas morning.

“I don’t know… we can think about it.” Killian says to Emma.

She meets his gaze and nods in agreement. “Yeah. We’ll think about it.” Emma smiles at Elsa and reaches out to squeeze her hand. “Thank you for thinking of us.”

“Of course.” Elsa says with a kind smile that reaches her eyes. “Killian, you and I should chat while we’re here. We’ll be here until Christmas Eve for the ball.”

Killian’s eyes widen at Emma and she laughs. “Yes, there’s a ball.” Turning to Elsa, she adds, “I haven’t told him about all of the Misthaven traditions yet.”

Elsa chuckles. “Well, you’re in for a treat, Killian. I hope you know how to dance.”

Killian stares at Emma and she laughs as she lifts her shoulders on a shrug. She pats the spot just above his knee and rubs a soothing circle. “You’ll be fine, babe.”

He doesn’t feel  _ fine _ and he presumes he won’t feel fine for the entirety of the trip.

What he really needs is a drink. Maybe two.


	5. Making (Pretend) Plans

**Chapter Five |** Making (Pretend) Plans

The photographer Mary Margaret eagerly introduces to them is a family friend named Ruby.

She and Emma spend a good five minutes catching up and laughing, effectively leaving Killian on his own to a discussion with Mary Margaret about the weather and how she hopes they have a spring wedding.

He’s begun to realize that he’s far too out of his depth here, and not in a good way where he can save himself. No, he’s drowning.

“Let’s go outside to the garden. I know it’s cold, but I found this great tree you could stand under and the snow is super pretty.” Ruby says with a crinkle in her nose.

“Oh, I know exactly which one you’re talking about.” Mary Margaret says. “It’ll be perfect.”

Emma goes to him and takes his hand easily as they follow Ruby and Mary Margaret outside to the garden, where he finds himself caught up in the wonder of winter. He hadn’t realized the castle sits with its back to a lovely lake with mountains in the picturesque distance.

Snow makes it all the lovelier, most of it untouched as the flakes trickle toward them and melt almost instantly against his exposed skin.

It’s truly stunning as he looks at their surroundings from the spot beneath the tree that Ruby wants them under. Emma’s still holding his hand as he looks out, entirely enamored with the quiet and calm of it all.

“Quite the view,” he says.

Emma hums. “It’s pretty.”

Killian can’t help but smirk at Emma. She’s staring up at him, snowflakes caught in her eyelashes and dusting the top of her head. Her cheeks and the tip of her nose are rosy from the cold.

“ _ You’re _ pretty.”

He sees her blush deepen as her mouth falls open ever so slightly as if to admonish him. He chuckles and leans in to leave a kiss to the side of her head. When he moves away, he finds Ruby and Mary Margaret staring on giddily.

“That’s perfect!” Ruby gasps. “Again! This time, Emma,” Ruby moves in close to them and physically adjusts them so Emma’s hands are pressed to his chest and she’s turned toward her mother. “Okay. That’s good.”

They take a few like this, and a few of him holding Emma close with her hand on his arm. It feels like a proper portrait, with how she keeps adjusting their heads and chins and shifting their hips to get the right angle.

She’s warm in his arms, and she still smells amazing. It’s almost enough for him to forget they’re standing out in the cold of winter, posing for engagement photographs he’s fairly certain will somehow be his downfall.

“Okay, let’s do… oh, I know. Forehead kiss.”

It continues like this for a while. They take a few forehead kiss pictures, and then Mary Margaret suggests they go back inside where they can sit by the fire.

They move eagerly back inside, hand-in-hand, and Ruby takes a few pictures of them from behind before insisting they take a few in the garden with him standing behind Emma, his arms around her middle and his nose in her hair.

None of this does him any good emotionally. His stomach won’t stop being flooded with butterflies and his heart feels achingly full at each press of her against him.

She turns to him at one point and grins so happily at him that he imagines that maybe, if he just got a minute to speak with her, they wouldn’t have to keep pretending.

Oh, he is in love with her and none of this is helping matters.

Why did he agree to come along again? Right, because he’s a good person and a good friend. But for some reason he feels less than good right now.

“Thank you for this, Ruby,” Mary Margaret says after the last photo is taken on the floor of the den with the soothingly warm fireplace.

“Yeah, no problem! These are going to be killer. I’ll get them downloaded and pick out a few for review by three this afternoon.”

Mary Margaret cheers. “Oh, yay! Thank you. We’ll keep an eye out.”

Both he and Emma thank Ruby and the photographer goes on her way, clearly excited to see the fruits of their labor. Emma’s mother turns to them and lifts her shoulders.

“Well, that was fun.”

Emma’s a little bit breathless. “Yeah.”

“When do you want to start planning the wedding?” Mary Margaret asks. “I have some ideas, but I don’t want to impose. I just… I am so excited, Emma.”

Emma sighs. “Mom… we just got here.”

Her mother nods in understanding, a frown riding her lips. “I know. I know. I’m sorry. It’s… I’ve been planning for this day since you were a little girl and now that it’s here, I can’t wait to share with you.”

His best friend softens. She tucks her hair behind her ears and nods. “I know.” She glances up at him and back again. “I guess a peek wouldn’t hurt. But we’re not making any decisions.”

The queen gasps excitedly. Her face brightens up so much that it’s almost as if she hadn’t been smiling before.

Killian watches Emma get whisked away by her mother and he laughs slightly at the frantic look on her face as he waves at her. “I’d come with you, but I’ve got plans with Leo.”

Emma rolls her eyes a little, but has no room to respond because Mary Margaret’s talking her ear off.

He watches them go for a few moments before he hears his name. Turning, he discovers Leo approaching from a cluster of people gathered nearby talking and gawking at the royal mother and daughter.

“Killian, you ready for our hike?”

He grins at Leo. “Of course. I’ll need a minute to change into something more comfortable.”

Leo bobs his head. “How about I meet you back down here in fifteen?”

\+ + +

Prince Leopold is adventurous at heart and quite fun to be around. They’re climbing a nearby mountain while they talk about the world and the nonsense within it, and it’s more fun than he’s had in a while.

He genuinely enjoys being with Leo, and he gets the feeling Leo feels the same toward him.

They reach their objective and stand atop a cliff looking out at the castle that lies beyond.

“The world is so much bigger up here,” Leo says, slightly out of breath with deep pink cheeks hiding behind his scarf.

Killian chuckles. “Aye. It is.”

He takes in the enormity of the sky and how peaceful he feels. It’s good at giving him a straight head where it comes to his feelings. They seem less significant as he looks around from way up here.

“So, I promised myself a long time ago that when Emma got engaged and it was serious, I’d bring my future brother-in-law on a hike and we’d talk about his intentions.” Leo says honestly.

Killian meets his gaze and nods. “Alright.”

Leo crosses his arms to make himself more intimidating. “My sister is incredibly important to me and I’ve seen her go through way too much heartbreak. I don’t want it to happen again.”

Killian knows this feeling all too well. He nods. “Aye. I know. I promise, I wouldn’t ever do anything to hurt her intentionally. I… I love her and I’m not keen on letting her go.”

Leo smiles at that. He looks over at the castle. “I can tell she feels the same about you.”

From an outsider’s perspective, the words bear more weight than they really should. Killian’s heart races.

“Do you think you’ll come back?” Leo asks. “For the wedding or… I don’t know, living here?”

Killian shakes his head. “I don’t know, mate. I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my time here so far, but… I think that’s up to Emma.”

Leo sighs and nods. “I guess.” He presses a hand to the back of his head and breathes the day in deeply. “I always thought when she got married she’d come home.”

It’s really not his place to make promises, but he figures one more won’t hurt amidst a sea of lies they’ve already spread far and wide.

“I’ll talk to her.”

Leo’s eyes widen brightly and he laughs. “Really?”

“Sure,” Killian grins. “Family ought to stick together. That’s what my brother’s always told me.”

Leo claps him on the back. “You know, you and I are going to get along, Killian. I can feel it.”

\+ + +

“I’ve been planning for a long time for the chance to give you the wedding of your dreams,” her mother admits as they walk into her study.

It’s been a whirlwind of a day, complete with far too much Killian gazing at her with far too much affection in his eyes. But it isn’t as if she’s been any better. And that  _ kiss _ . Even if it was shortly lived, she’s having a hard time making ends of what any of this means.

This trip wasn’t ever supposed to get out of control. It was always supposed to be simple and they’d show up and he’d be charming and her parents would be happy that she’s happy. And then they’d go back to their lives as they were.

But instead, she’s come face-to-face with a realization that her family really,  _ really _ wants her to be married. To Killian Jones.

They love him more than she could’ve anticipated. Even her father, the man who once shot at one of her previous boyfriends, seems to have no problem whatsoever with his little girl marrying Killian.

What could they possibly see in him- in their relationship- that they haven’t seen before?

Emma’s eyes widen as her mother shows her the three gigantic scrapbooks of ideas sitting out on her desk.

“I have ideas for just about any theme you might want to pick from,” her mother says. “But I was thinking… that you could have the wedding here and we could have it out by the water at sunset.”

Emma stares at the pictures in the book closest to her as her mother flips frantically through another to find the page she’s looking for. She stops finally and points out some details they might use.

“Look, your father and Leo could build this beautiful archway,” Mary Margaret caresses the picture as if it’s dear to her. “And we could decorate the garden with lantern lights and you could dance under the stars.”

Truth be told, the idea is beautiful. Emma can’t imagine anything better than a wedding like that. She imagines they’d have to do it in the summer, so they’d have plenty of time to plan, but at the same time no time at all.

Emma smiles fondly at her mother’s description. “That sounds so beautiful.”

Mary Margaret looks up at her and shakes her head on a soft sigh. “Emma, I can’t believe you’re getting married.”

Emma smiles back at her mother. This is all she’s dreamed about for a long time, giving Emma a wedding.

“I know,” she admits on a laugh. “It’s hard to believe.”

Mary Margaret shakes her head. “No, I can see it between you. You and Killian were meant to be together. The way he looks at you, and the way you look at him…” Her mother sighs happily. “He’s not like anyone else you’ve brought home. He’s different. A really, really, good different.”

Emma’s heart flutters. “How can you tell?”

Her mother shrugs and lifts an eyebrow. “He makes you smile. With your whole face. And you look at him like he could change the world and you really think he could.” Mary Margaret smiles. She reaches out to brush a strand of Emma’s hair behind her ear. “And when he speaks, you hang onto every word. It was never like that with anyone else.”

Her mother has tears in her eyes and Emma’s chest tightens because of her words.

“And I imagine he’s the first person you think about in the morning when you wake up and the last person you think about when you fall asleep. That’s how it is with your father and I at least. He’s your best friend and you’re his.”

The weight of her mother’s words ring all too real with Emma.

Her mother clears her throat and straightens out. “Do you want to take a look at what I have? I know it’s a lot to take in, but… it’s a good start.”

Forcing herself to stop thinking too much about the situation she’s put herself in, Emma forces herself to smile and nod. “Sure.”

\+ + +

Her phone buzzes in her hand as she stands outside of the door leading to the rooftop where Elsa had said they were waiting for her.

It’s an email from her mother, sent with high importance. She taps into it and finds the email reads:  _ I love them all! What do you think? I prefer number one for the announcement. Dad thinks so too. :) - Mom _

There are a few photos attached. Emma’s heart skips a beat when she realizes just what they are- they’re from the engagement photo session they’d shared just a few hours ago.

It had been quite something coming off of their first kiss and moving straight into half an hour of close touching and easy laughter. She’d been surprised by how natural it all felt, and how calm she’d been with him holding her close.

Although, she isn’t surprised at all when she thinks about it, because everything with him is simple and safe.

The first picture, her parents’ favorite, is of them standing beneath the tree, both of them happy as they hold onto each other in a less than natural pose. She can’t help but to think she fits kind of perfectly there, with her head pressed against his collarbone, and his arm wrapped around her.

The second is a picture of them laughing about something as they sit in front of the fire, wrapped in a quilt. It’s a close shot, capturing just how widespread their grins are. Her mom was right about one thing- she smiles with her whole face around Killian.

The third is of Killian kissing her forehead. Their eyes are both closed and he’s holding onto her so lovingly and tenderly she wonders if it had been as real to them in the moment as it appears.

She doesn’t have time to check the rest of the pictures because she gets a text from Elsa begging her to come outside already.

So, she types off a quick,  _ Love these! Number one is great. -Em _ and sends it back to her mother before opening the door to the rooftop party.

It’s pretty out here, as it always is, with flowers her mom had planted for her secret garden all hidden away for the winter. The warm lantern lights hanging overhead give the space a familiar and safe glow. There’s Christmas music playing near the outdoor bar her dad had installed and all of her friends from brunch are assembled, wrapped in blankets and baggy sweaters.

“Emma!” Elsa calls out happily. She hurries to her side and slings her arm through hers. “You have come just in time. Belle has brought with her the finest cheap wine and Aurora and Ashley brought snacks.”

Emma laughs happily. Spending evenings out on the rooftop with her friends was always a highlight growing up at the castle, and this is no different.

They gather together on a blanket with pillows and cushions. Emma accepts a glass of wine when it’s offered to her by Belle.

“So… how’s being engaged?” Elsa asks in a sing-song tone.

Emma laughs and shakes her head. She mimics her friend’s voice, “It’s nice.”

The girls chuckle.

“Do you guys have a date yet?” Anna asks.

“No, not yet.” Emma says. “We just want to be engaged for a little while before we start drowning in wedding plans.”

Anna’s eyes widen. “Good for you! Kristoff and I dove right in. Not that I regret it. Because I don’t.” Emma smiles slightly when Anna rubs her baby bump. “But it’s a lot of hard work.”

Elsa shifts in her spot and grabs a cookie from the pile of snacks in the center of their circle. “So, how’d you guys meet?”

Emma takes a breath. “Um… well, we met-” She can’t help but laugh a little. “We met at his brother’s birthday party. I was dating this guy at the time that knew him and I mistook Killian for his brother when I introduced myself. I kept trying to talk to him about what little my boyfriend had told me about Liam and he was just so confused until I called him the wrong name and then he cleared it up.”

Her friends giggle.

Aurora has a bite of cake and tilts her head. “And now he’s your best friend! Imagine it.”

Emma smiles happily. “Yeah. He is.”

“Oh my gosh, tell us about your engagement story. I love engagement stories!” Belle insists.

She laughs and shrugs. The story she and Killian came up with for this is good, she has to admit. It’s full of just enough facts that are true for it to come across as plausible.

“Okay. So one of our favorite places to go is this little diner called the Starlight Diner. He asked me if I’d like to go for dinner and I agreed, not really thinking much of it. When I showed up, he had our table decorated in flowers and he was wearing a fancy suit. So I asked him, ‘what’s going on?’ and he said, ‘can’t a guy take his beautiful girlfriend out for a special dinner?’”

The girls laugh. She does too, mostly because this is something that actually happened. Minus the relationship stuff.

“And so we had dinner and I’m thinking the whole time that he’s either crazy romantic or he’s proposing, or both. But it didn’t happen, and instead we went for a walk by the harbor, and I had decided it wouldn’t… but then he pretended he noticed something on the ground.” Emma shrugs, smiling happily at her own story. “And then he asked me and I said yes.”

Her friends swoon over the entirely made-up story, and Emma can’t help but feel the slightest bit of pride over the tale because of how sweet it is.

“I am so glad you’re getting married to him.” Elsa says. “He loves you so much, Emma.”

Suddenly, as she had with her mother, she feels nothing but guilt. Killian can’t love her. Can he?

“And he’s not a jerk like what’s his name,” Belle adds. “He’s a proper gentleman.”

“He is.” Aurora agrees.

Elsa hums. “Well, when you get to wedding planning, just remember, I’m your best girl friend and I have performed as maid of honor before.”

The rest of the group tries to get her to nominate them for the position. Emma can’t help but laugh as she looks to Elsa.

Of all the people she’d dream about having in her wedding, she thinks Elsa takes the cake. Elsa was there, through thick and thin, when she still lived at the castle. Come to think of it, Elsa was sort of her Killian before she met Killian.

She isn’t sure what to make of that.

And she isn’t sure what to make of the tightness in her chest as she thinks about Killian either.


	6. Bestest Friends Who Kissed Once

**Chapter Six |** Bestest Friends Who Kissed Once

Emma finds herself walking into her bedroom at ten o’clock feeling airy and just the tiniest bit giggly after all of the laughter and gossip Girl’s Night allowed. It’s nice, being home, and getting to see everyone again. Even if it means perpetuating a lie.

Her stomach clenches to almost a nauseating level as she thinks about it all again- the endless lying, the plan-making that will never be followed through, the  _ pictures _ and the  _ wedding plans _ . It’s all so much and she’s terribly selfish for keeping this going.

She was selfish dragging Killian into this to begin with. They’re  _ friends _ , not lovers, and it’s far outside of his wheelhouse having to be in a castle surrounded by royalty.

With her eyes squeezed tight, Emma stands silently at her bedroom door and wishes, almost childishly, that they could go back to the diner where she decided on a desperate whim that this was the way to solve her problems.

Nobody will look at her the same again, of this she’s sure. Especially her family. Maybe even Killian himself.

But then a little voice at the back of her head speaks up, reminding her of why she’d done it to begin with. Her parents said years and years ago, that if she wasn’t married by the time she turned twenty-five, they had someone they’d set her up with.

Knowing Mary Margaret, the minute Emma walked through the doors upon arriving solo to the castle, she’d basically already be married to this mystery guy.

While both options for the way this could have gone taste awful in her mouth, so much so she can hardly stomach any of it, this is probably the lesser of the two evils.

At least her family will have a happy Christmas, and she can manage one too. Killian is incredibly patient, and an amazing friend. They’ve spent every Christmas together since they met, so she’d miss him if she came here without him anyway.

Taking a deep breath, Emma turns the knob and once she steps into the mini apartment, she toes out of her shoes at the door and finds the light on for her as well as a covered plate with a sandwich and chips waiting for her.

“I was hoping you’d be back sooner. There was a Pixar marathon that just finished.”

With wide eyes, she looks up to find Killian leaning against the door leading into her bedroom.

He looks absolutely sinful, with mussed hair and sweats hanging low on his hips. He’s wearing a tight tee shirt that leaves not much to the imagination, practically begging her to stare at the flex of his arm muscles where they’re folded against his chest.

On top of it all, he’s smirking slightly, that devilish eyebrow lifted as if they haven’t spent the entire day playing fake fiancé.

“Damn,” Emma shakes her head. She grabs a chip and has a bite. “Sorry I abandoned you to dinner alone with my family.”

Killian waves her off as he steps toward her. “We had a grand time without you.”

Emma laughs once. “Yeah?”

His smile spreads playfully. “Aye. It was quite enjoyable. Had a proper steak dinner, too.”

Having been apart for a while, she finds herself wondering how he’d behaved. She knows he wouldn’t be nasty around anyone, nor would he spoil this thing for her, but she still wonders.

Seeing him so happy has her conflicted, because she keeps imagining that he must hate her for the choice she made to drag him along to Misthaven. Quiet settles between them as she considers this.

Killian’s expression fades ever so slightly. She thinks he might have something he wants to say- actually, she knows he does, because he has this longing look in his eyes that he’s had since early this morning.

“What’d you talk about?” she asks to deter whatever brutally honest thing he may have said.

Killian shrugs. “This and that. Mostly about you. There may have been a few stories about baby Princess Emma that I found immensely enjoyable.”

Emma’s eyes widen. “What did they tell you?”

Her best friend keeps his lips pressed together and his eyebrows wiggle. “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

She glares at him and hits him in the chest. “What’d they tell you?”

Killian laughs, a big booming laugh that bounces off the ceiling. “Just about silly baby stories. Your mum told me you were keen on streaking through important meetings without your diaper on and you also liked smearing chocolate on the walls. That’s a rather expensive hobby, love.”

Emma rolls her eyes. She retreats back toward her food. Briefly, she wonders if it was him who prepared the plate for her, or if it was her mother. It could have easily been either of them.

“How was Leo?” she asks as she has another bite of a chip. “You went on a hike, right?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “We had loads of fun. We had a good chat too.”

Emma lifts an eyebrow. “Oh?” He hums, but won’t crack. She tosses the meal into the fridge, thinking she might want it later, and then moves toward her best friend. She folds her arms. “What’d you talk about with him?”

Killian chuckles. “I think you’ve got a good idea on that, love.”

She hums. “Well, I’m glad you’re getting along.”

They stare at one another for a few moments and Emma finds herself twisting the ring wrapped around her finger.

She gets to thinking about the day’s events, from the start at brunch, to the kiss that still sends a chill up her spine, to the photo session and the lingering touches- she didn’t hate it. In fact, she enjoyed it.

She’s not sure what it means, not yet. But at least she has her head on straight for the most part.

“Hey, do you want to see something?” Emma asks.

Killian lifts a curious eyebrow. “If it’s your baby photos I’m afraid your mum already took me on that journey, love.”

She gasps. “Not my baby pictures, but that’s good to know.”

He chuckles. “All right. Show me something, Nolan.”

Emma grins at the familiar nickname and turns around to take him out of her bedroom apartment and into the hall. She looks at him.

“When I was growing up, I always wanted a secret space where I could just go and not have to deal with royal business. So, my parents had this whole space designed for me and they promised me they’d never come bother me when I was up there.”

“Well, color me intrigued.”

\+ + +

Emma takes him to the rooftop, where the lantern lights are still glowing beneath the shine of the moon and stars above. The stars are one of Killian’s very favorite things and she knows he misses seeing them from the city where they live.

She smiles wryly and turns to Killian. “Well, what do you think of my hideaway?”

Killian hums as he look all around the space. His head tilts backward, so he can look up at the sky, and a slow grin spreads on his face.

“Bloody hell,” he breathes, a white cloud puffing past his lips. He looks down at her and gestures upward happily. “I forgot what it’s like to see stars.”

She brushes her hair behind her ear as she moves toward the outdoor bar with intentions of grabbing the rum. With the bottle in her grasp, she turns back to her best friend.

“Think of it as an apology?” she asks on a shrug. “For leaving you all afternoon?”

Killian eyes the rum and his tongue darts between his lips briefly as he reaches up to scratch behind his ear. “Well, I can’t say no to a glass of rum under the stars, even if I tell you I didn’t mind spending the afternoon with your family.”

Emma grabs them glasses and carries them with her toward the bench swing that her father had given her for her birthday one year. He’d built the thing himself, which was a monumental feat in and of itself. It’s cushioned by pillows and she finds blankets tucked in a box beside it.

They sit together on the swing. Emma draws her legs up to fold them and pours Killian some rum. When she offers it to him, he grins wryly and their fingers brush just enough to make her shiver.

Emma has a hard sip of her rum as soon as she pours some for herself and then busies herself with draping a thick blanket over their laps. After she’s satisfied, she turns her gaze skyward. Anything to avoid the feelings rising up in her.

“Beautiful night,” Killian says lowly.

Emma hums in agreement. She looks over at him.

He’s handsome under the warm glow of the lights, with his dark stubble and hair she wants to run her fingers through. He stares up at the night sky with such adoration in his gaze that she wonders if he’s about to say something completely profound. He usually surprises her in quiet moments with the things he has to say.

Her thoughts start wandering as she considers the scar in his cheek and how she loves the way his lips curl while he’s smiling peacefully like he is now. He has another sip of his drink and Emma averts her gaze because she starts to think about their kiss again, how gentle but at the same time completely desirous it had been.

“Maybe I should move to the country.” Killian says suddenly.

She looks at him again and hikes an eyebrow. “What? Why?”

His grin spreads slowly. He sets his empty glass on the table next to him and adjusts his position so he faces her more, shaking the swing ever so slightly as he does.

“To see the stars.”

Emma searches his eyes and laughs under her breath. “You wouldn’t leave me in the city by myself.”

“Oh? You think so, do you?”

Emma nods. She presses her glass to her lips but doesn’t sip just yet. “You need me nearby.”

“Really?” he asks, those eyebrows of his edging his hairline.

She hums in the affirmative as she drinks the last of her rum. “Who else are you going to complain to at the end of the day?”

Her best friend narrows his eyes slightly. “I think you mean  _ you _ need  _ me _ nearby for that reason, love.”

They stare at each other in a companionable silence. Both of them smile slightly. Her heart flutters at the way he stares at her.

“Fine,” she concedes. “I’d miss you if you left me all alone.”

Killian nods. “I’d miss you too. If either of us moved away.” He pauses, smiling wryly at her. “You’re the best part of my day anyday, Nolan. Liam thinks we’re honest-to-God soulmates.”

She snorts. “Soulmates?” With a slightly lifted eyebrow, she continues, “Don’t you have to be in love to be soulmates?”

He shrugs. “I don’t know. Perhaps we’re not soulmates then. Perhaps we’re… something else altogether.”

“Like what?” she asks.

“Like…” he puffs out a breath and glances up at the sky. For a moment, he considers it, as if it means anything at all. “We’re best friends. No, better than best. Bestest friends.”

Emma laughs. He meets her eyes, proud of himself. “You’re good at English.”

“I’m very good at English. It was my best subject in school, I’ll have you know.”

Emma hums. She presses her lips together and takes a deep breath through her nose. Thoughtfully, she says, “Bestest friends who kissed once.”

Killian’s face immediately warms, his smile and jovial spirit fading just as fast. He averts his eyes and reaches behind his ear to scratch.

“It was… acting.”

“Right.” Emma agrees quickly. “We had no choice.”

Suddenly, the earnest nature of this conversation becomes too much so she looks away, instead staring at the flowers nearby.

It seems that it was too much for him too, because for a few minutes they just sit with this awkward silence heavy over them.

“Do you think you’ll ever come back here?” he asks quietly.

She sighs and leans her head back against the cushion, looking up at the stars for a long time. Her chest feels tight with the internal fight she’s having over that very question.

“I… don’t know,” she admits in a whisper. She turns her head to look at him again. He’s staring at her, patient and quiet. He nods at her reply. “After this whole… engagement blows over, I have a hard time picturing life here. But…” Emma falls quiet. She shrugs a shoulder. “I kind of miss it.”

Killian takes her hand and runs his fingers against her palm for a second before flipping it over. He stares down at his lap where her hand is and then back up at her.

“If you found love, would you move back?” he asks.

Her heart skips a beat, especially with the gentle way his thumb caresses her knuckles. Emma’s breath hitches.

“Maybe.”

Killian gives her a small smile. “I see.”

They continue staring at each other for a few seconds. Emma shifts on the swing so she bumps her knee against his thigh and she stares up at the sky.

“Do you know any constellations?”

He releases her hand and clears his throat.

“Do I know any constellations?” he asks in a teasing tone. “Come on, Emma. Do you know me at all?”

Emma laughs. “Well, then prove it.”

She meets his eyes and finds his mischievous grin with a flip of her stomach.

“Alright. As you wish.”

\+ + +

She sets a late alarm for their second morning in the castle.

They don’t have any plans, which is nice, and she assumes her parents will want a lunch, so the pressure is almost completely off for sake of preserving the lie.

Emma wakes up earlier than the alarm is set to go off by a full hour, but it turns out that Killian’s awake already. He places his hands on his face and sighs deeply through his nose.

“G’morning.”

Emma turns onto her side to face him after checking the time. He removes his hands and mirrors her position.

“What do you want to do today, fiancée?” he asks with a thicker accent than usual, laced with sleep.

Her heart rate quickens at the teasing nickname. She clears her throat before she speaks, “Want to go on a tour of the countryside?”

Killian’s eyes brighten. “That sounds interesting.”

“Yeah,” Emma smiles.

She cracks a yawn and stretches out her legs beneath the covers. She accidentally bumps Killian’s leg in the process, making him tease her with a pinch to her side. She laughs and jerks back.

“Stop,” she breathes, laughing. “I know you’re ticklish too. Don’t make me fight back.”

Killian wiggles his eyebrows, but thankfully removes his hand. “Very well, Your Highness.”

Emma rolls her eyes. “Do you want to go on a tour? Where’d we land on that?”

“I would love to.”

She stares at him for a moment silently, smiling at the way the sunlight streams in past the white curtains on the window behind him. He looks good in the mornings, with his bedhead and his sleepy eyes.

“Okay. Do you want breakfast in the castle or do you want to check out my old favorite diner?”

Killian’s eyes widen. “There’s a diner nearby? And you didn’t tell me sooner?” He turns onto his back and puts his hand over his face as she shakes his head slowly. “To think, I thought we were friends.”

Emma laughs. She pinches his side so he twitches and flinches his whole body away from her, laughing loudly and abruptly.

“Bloody hell!”

“You deserved it,” Emma replies. “For getting me in the first place.”

Killian smiles at her as he takes quick breaths in recovery. “Then I suppose I owe you breakfast at your old favorite diner, hm?”

“I’ll go get dressed.”

Emma stares at him for a few more seconds before she climbs out of bed and steps into her closet. She thinks about what she wants to wear and ultimately decides on a thick sweater and jeans. Something cozy because it’s going to be a laid back day, assuming her mother doesn’t flip her lid.

When she steps out of her closet wearing her clothes for the day, she finds Killian sitting up in bed, staring at her like he had the morning before when he thought she wasn’t looking.

Her face feels just a little bit hotter as she stares at him. “What are you looking at?”

“You,” he replies, grinning from ear-to-ear. “You’re awfully pretty in the morning.”

Emma’s heart skips a beat. “Killian…”

Her best friend has called her pretty twice over the course of two days and this time, he doesn’t have an audience for her to blame it on.

“It’s a compliment,” he tells her. “Friends give each other compliments, don’t they?”

Something about the compliment doesn’t feel friendly, despite his assurance that it was.

“Yeah,” she shakes it off. Emma brushes hair behind her ear. “Thanks.”

They stand for too long in quiet, it turns out, because there’s a knock at the door. With a furrowed brow, Emma moves swiftly away from Killian to the door.

When she pulls it open, she’s not even the slightest bit surprised to find her mother waiting.

“Good morning!” She sings.

“Hey, Mom. What’s going on? Killian and I were about to go for a tour of the countryside.”

Mary Margaret grins as she glances past Emma at Killian. “Well… do you think it could wait an hour or so?”

Emma’s mouth falls open as she contemplates her response, but before she can start telling her mother that she’d really just wanted today to be with her friend, a familiar man and woman move into her line of vision, both chatting animatedly.

Her eyes widen. “What the hell is going on, Mom?”

Her mother winces just slightly. “Didn’t you get my messages this morning? We made the engagement announcement just a few hours ago. Ariel and Eric are here to film a quick interview.”

Emma’s heart rams hard against her ribcage. Her jaw falls open. “What?”

“What’s going on?” Killian asks curiously from somewhere behind her. Emma whirls around in time to find him standing nearly toe-to-toe with her. He smiles with his teeth at her and then at her mother. “Morning, Mrs. Nolan.”

“Good morning,” her mother replies. “Can you spare an hour for a quick interview?”

Emma grimaces. The idea of an interview is the least appealing thing in the whole world, and not only that-  _ the whole world knows they’re engaged _ .

This was  _ not _ what she wanted to happen, especially only after one full day here. Now the truth will come out and Christmas will be ruined, and she really should’ve known this would happen.

“An interview,” Killian repeats slowly. “Is it customary for Emma’s suitors to be interviewed?”

Mary Margaret laughs. “No, no. It’s an engagement interview. Emma’s a public figure. It’s just to introduce you and your engagement to the public.”

Killian meets Emma’s eyes and he frantically lifts his eyebrows at her before clearing his throat. “Ah…”

Emma turns to her mother and holds up her finger. “Give us a minute?”

The queen pulls on a grin and nods. “Of course.”

After closing the door behind her, Emma turns to Killian again and holds both hands up. “Okay, so… they posted an engagement announcement.”

His eyes grow wide. “What?” She can see the horror spreading to his extremities, as his feet begin to take him away from her before he moves back again. “Bloody hell,  _ Emma _ ! The entire bloody world is in on our charade now.”

She knows she has no shot at a simple apology, so she doesn’t try.

Her heart begins to race and her stomach ties up in knots. This is the absolute worst day of her life all of a sudden, and it had such promise for being normal.

He runs a hand over his face and takes a nervous step away from her before coming in close again. He points his hand outward, gesturing to the door behind her.

“We’ve got to come clean. That’s the only way we can get out of it now before matters get too much worse than they already are. I’m sure my entire contact list has seen it by now-” He shakes his head and grimaces as he curses. “I did not agree to this when I said I’d come here with you.”

“I know,” she finally says. “I didn’t agree to them sharing our news with the world, but that’s what happened anyway.”

Killian’s eyes are wide. He blinks at her. “As if that helps us right now in any way. Great. Yeah, we’ll just explain it away on the Misthaven social media accounts as a mistake because your mum didn’t ask permission first. We should’ve known it was going to happen- we  _ posed _ -”

He’s getting louder with each syllable, his stress level making the veins pop in his forehead. He stares at her intensely and scrubs his hand over his head.

“Shit, Emma. Shit.” He tosses his hand at her. “I don’t know why I ever thought this would be easy because it’s never easy with you.”

This is all her fault. Her best friend and the only person she really trusts is angry with her, and it’s all because she  _ had _ to prove herself to her parents.

Suddenly, she feels completely overwhelmed. Tears find her eyes and her lip trembles as she averts her gaze from him.

“Emma, hey,” Killian murmurs, worried. He immediately wraps his arms around her and she easily folds into him, her arms sliding up against his back as she’s shaken by a gasp for air. “Shh. It’s alright.”

She feels him press his lips against the side of her head and his gentle voice murmurs in her ear, promising her it’ll be okay. She feels safe when he holds her.

“I’m sorry,” he murmurs. “I overreacted. It’s already done and can’t be fixed. I just… don’t entirely long for another few weeks when we return home of pretending.”

Emma nods in agreement. She’s still clinging to him like a lifeline. “I know. I’m sorry.”

Slowly, she moves away from him and when she meets his eyes, he reaches out to cup her cheek. She leans into his palm as his thumb swipes at her tears.

“What did you mean, it’s never easy with me?” she asks lowly.

The life drains from his face and he glances downward for a second as he tries to recover. He shakes his head as his eyes return to her.

“I… was just angry, in the moment,” he says. “I shouldn’t have-”

“But what did you mean?” she presses.

Killian stares at her for a few seconds. Slowly, his posture slackens, as if he’s been defeated, and he drops his gaze to the floor as he nervously reaches up behind his ear to scratch.

Her heart stops for a beat when he meets her eyes again. His lips part, words just on the tip of his tongue, but he’s interrupted- to the slightly confusing relief Emma feels in waves- when her mother taps on the door.

“Emma? Killian? Everything okay?”

Emma searches Killian’s eyes, having realized they never came to any sort of conclusion about this. He sighs and nods as he gestures outward to the door in a slightly frustrated motion.

“It’s fine. We’ve hardly any voice in the matter anyway, I reckon.”

She’d like to argue that they do, but she knows her mother better than that. So, she turns back around and opens the door, a smile finding its way to her lips.

“Sorry about that.” Emma says quickly, immediately finding her best princess face. “Yeah, why not? Let’s get it over with.”


	7. The Worst Thing That Could Happen

**Chapter Seven |** The Worst Thing That Could Happen

Ariel is the name of the reporter, which Killian finds slightly humorous due to the fact that her camera man’s name is Eric and the two other members of her crew are called Sebastian and Max.

He and Emma have had to change into something more appropriate for an interview, with express permission given to them by the queen for each article upon their bodies.

Mary Margaret stands behind camera when it starts to roll at least. He’d thought she might actually want to be in the interview herself with how much fussing she’d done getting them to sit in her study- the most photogenic room in the castle.

It turns out, being royalty is a lot more high maintenance than he’d been led to believe upon his arrival here. Emma seems to fall right into it all, while he’s left feeling entirely out of place.

Emma’s hair curls around her shoulders and she wears the gentlest smile, appearing every bit as excited as a newly engaged princess should be. Her hand holds onto his against the couch cushion between them and he finds himself trying to find even the slightest flaw in her, but he can’t.

His suit is far under dressed in comparison to the pretty dress she’s wearing, but Emma doesn’t seem to find issue with it.

“Okay, so, let’s get this started,” Ariel says on a bright smile. She’s holding a notepad before her that she glances at. “First off, I want to say, Your Royal Highness, Mister Jones, congratulations to you both. This is such an exciting time.”

Emma smiles back at the reporter. “Thank you.”

His heart flutters anxiously. His hands feel slightly clammy.

“Let’s start with the proposal and the engagement. When did it happen? How’d you propose?”

Suddenly, all eyes are on him, even Emma, who gives the most encouraging pressure to his hand. She stares up at him with a tiny smile on her lips, one so convincing even he starts to believe it.

He shifts slightly and clears his throat. “Well, it happened a few months ago. We’ve been living in New York. Ah…” He grins as he thinks about the story they’d concocted and turns his gaze to Emma affectionately. “We went to dinner at our favorite place for the anniversary of our meeting.”

Emma laughs lightly. “I thought you were going to propose while we were there, just so you know.”

“Oh yeah?” he lifts an eyebrow playfully. He laughs. “Well, I’d thought about that, but then I decided to wait a bit.”

“Torture,” Emma says, looking at Ariel, who chuckles at her.

“It was not,” Killian argues, drawing her attention back to him. “We went for a walk after, by the water, and the sun was setting the most lovely shade of orange and it made your hair glow.”

Emma blushes a little and tilts her cheek toward her shoulder. “And then you proposed and it was very sweet and…”

“Dare I say the most romantic speech of all time? I think it was.”

Emma laughs, the warm sound encouraging his wicked grin back at her.

“Did you say yes right away, Princess?” Ariel wonders.

She bites at her lip thoughtfully and laughs. “Of course. Yes. I think I may have said it before he got the question out…”

Killian hums and lifts his eyebrows, staring at the reporter. “That’s true.”

Ariel chuckles. “And this happened how long after you met?”

Both he and Emma turn to each other, humming and tilting their heads. “Five years?”

“Just about.”

“Wow, that’s a long time.” The reporter says with a knitted brow. “Were you dating the whole time or-?”

Emma shakes her head. “We were friends first. I think we only started dating a year ago, right?”

He hums. “Aye, yeah. A year’s about right.”

“So, when did you find out about who she was really? Did you know going in… was it a surprise?”

Killian has to laugh. He shakes his head. “No, no, I just barely found out, truthfully. But I think it’s fantastic.” He smiles at Ariel. “You know, I fell for Emma, not Princess Emma of Misthaven. She’s not any different now that I know she’s the princess. Certainly more important, but no less Emma.”

Emma’s eyes are wide with surprise, as if she hadn’t thought he’d still like her for who she is. She turns it off in an instant, instead staring at him with the utmost tenderness.

“Yes,” she agrees. “I’d been waiting to find someone that would love me for who I am aside from the crown. I think it comes from watching my parents and knowing how they met and fell in love so naturally. I wanted to find something that even slightly resembles what they have, and I’m… really happy that I have.”

Emma smiles peacefully at him, almost selling even him on the realness of their relationship. Earlier he’d been seconds away from admitting his feelings for her, but he’s glad he’d been interrupted. Surely, she can’t feel the same way as he does.

But it’s instances like this that have him confused and longing in the sorest way. Her eyes are so soft, like that of a lover, and her fingers squeeze against his. She bites at her lower lip for a second and turns back to Ariel when she asks another question.

Maybe this week won’t be so bad after all. If he can only make her fall in love with him.

\+ + +

It takes Ariel and her team a while to leave. Emma finds herself falling back into position easily as they discuss kingdom goings on. She holds herself in an upright posture with her hands clasped together above her middle, as if she were ten years old again, getting taught the ways of being a lady.

She catches Killian watching her, something that makes her heart stop even if for but a moment. Something’s going on in that head of his and she isn’t sure she wants to know what.

Okay, yes she does. She definitely does. And she has an idea what it is, something that scares her a little bit.

Emma takes a breath through her nose and steadies herself as she brings her attention back to Ariel, who’s trying to get her consent on a publication date, but all Emma wants is for this interview to fade into oblivion.

“Emma, honey,” her mother interrupts as Emma’s about to reply to Ariel’s question.

She lifts her eyebrows at her mom. “Yes?”

Mary Margaret smiles kindly at Ariel. “Thank you so much for the interview, Ariel.”

“Oh, it was my honor, Your Majesty.” Ariel bows her head a bit. “I’ll be off to edit and write up a story. I’ll have it sent to you when it’s done for approval.”

“Wonderful.” Mary Margaret says on a smile that creates lines by her eyes. She looks at Emma. “So I was talking with Leo and he said he might like a family night tonight, if you’re free.”

Her chest pangs with longing. It’s been far too long since they’ve had a family night. They’re always so much fun, whether it’s watching movies in the garden, or dancing in the ballroom, or baking in the kitchen without the staff.

A smile spreads wide on her face, unable to keep away, and she laughs. “I’ll have to check with Killian, but yeah, I’m definitely game for family night. What do you think we’ll do?”

Mary Margaret shrugs, grinning as she glances over at Killian, who has started a conversation with Sebastian. “I don’t know… I was kind of hoping we could introduce Killian to our holiday traditions.”

She has to admit, being home again has ignited a joy in her she’d thought had been long forgotten. She’s excited at the idea of Christmas at the castle, even if the idea of being Princess Emma again is less appealing.

So far, she’s found herself aching with the fond memories come to present day, with the trees decorated the same they were when she left, and the music that plays in the halls just the same volume.

It’s beckoning her to stay, and maybe she would if she weren’t currently lying to the whole world about her relationship status.

Even thinking for a moment about the complete failure of her attempt at keeping this between her parents, Leo, and she and Killian makes her nearly shake with anxiety.

“I’m sure Killian would love that,” Emma tells her mother, much to the woman’s delight.

Mary Margaret rubs Emma’s arm. “Alright. Let me know. I’ll get out of your hair. Thank you for humoring your old lady mom who wants to make a fuss over you.”

Emma’s shoulders fall and she shakes her head. Her mother has spent five years with minimal contact with her, so it’s only right that she give her some hope and kindness while she’s here.

“Mom… you’re not an old lady.” Off a heavy sigh, she adds, “I love you.”

Her mother’s hand finds hers and she squeezes. “I love you too, Emma.”

They linger for a moment or two and then she does as she’d promised, leaving with the last of the camera equipment and crew. She’s left with Killian, still looking handsome in his suit and with his hair slightly slicked back.

He grins lopsidedly at her and she finds herself smiling. Her eyes fall to the floor when a slight flush of embarrassment joins the quickening pace of her heartbeat.

“Well, that was quite the eventful morning.” Killian breaks the silence.

She meets his eyes. “Yeah…” Emma hesitates and shakes her head. “I’m sorry.”

“No, hey,” Killian hushes her. He crosses what’s left of the room to meet her, his hands immediately finding hers. He holds onto her tight and she looks up, caught in the kindness of his bright blue eyes. “You don’t have to keep apologizing. I agreed to help you. This is helping you.”

Emma’s shoulders fall. “But it’s a big deal now, Killian. Everyone back in New York is gonna find out, and they’re going to write up articles about you, because you’re  _ engaged _ to the Princess of Misthaven, and…” She releases his hands and steps back. “And they’ll write articles about me, too, because I’ve been missing for so many years.”

Her eyes squeeze shut. She presses her hands over her face and groans. “This is  _ not _ what I wanted.”

Killian is almost too quiet, so she pulls her hands away from her eyes and finds him with a clenched jaw, taking his fingers through his hair quickly.

“It’s not what I wanted either,” he admits. “But it’s happening, so we have to just… let it go. We know the truth. That’s what matters. So what if they write some misinformed articles about us?”

“It could ruin your life. It could ruin mine.” Emma all but shouts. She’s feeling about a million times worse than she did when this discussion began. “And you didn’t sign up for that.”

He sighs heavily. “Emma, there’s nothing that can be done now. I’m not worried.”

“How?” she exclaims. “You’re… there’s…”

Killian shakes his head. “I suppose I’ve got faith it’ll all work for the best in the end.” His soothing smile is almost enough to pull her out of her own head. “Were you going to take me on a tour of Misthaven, then, Nolan?”

Emma looks down at herself and sighs. They’re not going to keep talking about the fact that she’s a big fat failure, so at least there’s that.

“Yeah. I just need to change first.”

Gently, her best friend lowers a kiss to the top of her head. “Hey. You’ve got me, no matter what happens, aye?”

Her heart skips a frantic beat. “As long as we don’t ruin this with my parents, we should be fine. We just need to get through the rest of the week without any other gigantic mishaps.”

Killian’s expression falls, as if disappointed, and then a grin twitches at the corners of his lips. “Well, I don’t intend on slipping up, so what’s the worst thing that could happen aside from that?”

Emma scoffs. She takes a few big steps backward toward the door. “Well, if this were one of those Hallmark movies you always watch, my parents could invite my ex to visit and there could be a dramatic  _ love triangle _ .”

He arches an eyebrow. “Well. That wouldn’t happen. In our situation.”

Emma laughs. “I know. I’m just saying.” She reaches the door of her mother’s study and settles her hand on the knob. “Come on, we should get dressed for walking around in the cold.”

“As you wish.”

She opens the door and takes a step out into the hall, already thinking five steps ahead, about what she’ll order at Granny’s as soon as they get there- she’s damn excited to share it with Killian- so she hardly notices anything else.

“Emma?”

The sound of the familiar voice stops her dead in her tracks. She turns, eyes widening, and she discovers, to her heart’s delight, the sight of a former friend long lost.

Laughter bubbles past her lips and she shakes her head. “ _ Graham _ ? What are you doing here?”

The Irishman seems just as surprised as she feels. She walks quickly to him and as soon as she reaches him, she wraps her arms around his shoulders, so her face tucks into his neck. It’s a familiar safe place, something that soothes her eyes shut as she basks in his warmth.

“Your father invited me,” Graham murmurs. “I… didn’t think it wise to show up right when you first arrived, so I waited.”

“You waited a  _ day _ ,” Emma teases on a laugh.

They pull apart and Emma shakes her head slowly at him. She admires the way time has treated him, how much stronger and wise he seems. He smiles in that soft way, the one that initially made her fall for him, and she thinks her heart breaks.

“I can’t believe you’re home,” he says on a breath, smile spreading. “How long are you here?”

Emma grins. “A week. Just for Christmas.”

Graham hums. His smile fades ever so slightly when he draws his attention to Killian-  _ Killian! _

Emma whirls around and shakes her head. “Sorry. Uh, Killian, this is Graham, Graham, this is my fiancé Killian.”

She watches as the pair of them extend hands to shake. “A pleasure.”

“It’s good to meet you, Killian.” Graham smiles. He looks at Emma. “Uh…”

Faced with abandoning one friend for another, Emma clears her throat and speaks up, “We were going to go for a tour and a stop at Granny’s… if you want to…”

“Oh, sure. If you don’t mind me tagging along. It’s just been so long since I’ve seen you. I can’t wait to catch up.” Graham looks at Killian for approval.

Her current best friend shrugs. “I don’t see why not. Sure. We were just going to change clothes first.”

“By all means.” Graham smiles kindly. He looks at Emma with brightness in his eyes. “I’ll be waiting downstairs by the garden doors.”

She can’t help but smile, thinking of the old days when he’d say he’d meet her there before sneaking out for the night. “Okay.”

With her heart still aflutter, Emma turns back to Killian and she dazedly wanders toward her bedroom with him at her side.

As soon as they’re inside, and Emma’s heading into the closet for more appropriate clothes, Killian asks with just a hint of jealousy, “What was that you said about your ex being invited for Christmas?”

Emma scoffs. “We dated for like six weeks before he went and joined the military and he never came back for me or wrote to me, so… that flame is gone.” With slightly narrowed eyes, she smirks and asks, “You jealous, Killian?”

She hears him stop whatever he’d been doing before he hurriedly says, “What? No. Of course not. You’re free to date whomever you choose. I’m just your pretend fiancé for the week. We’re just… bestest friends who kissed once.”

Humming, Emma slips her arms through a sweater and drags it over her torso.

She walks to the doorway of her closet and discovers Killian without his shirt on, grabbing for his favorite cable-knit sweater. From this angle, she can’t see his face, but she certainly can see the muscles of his back and the way his arms bulk up when he flexes them.

Suddenly, her heart drops straight to her belly.

She’s smack dab in the middle of one of those Hallmark movies Killian likes to pretend he doesn’t like watching, isn’t she?

Killian turns once the sweater is on and an easy smile crosses his lips. “You ready to go, Nolan?”

She blinks dumbly and nods. “Yeah. Okay.”


	8. Accidentally Actually Engaged

**Chapter Eight |** Accidentally Actually Engaged 

The diner is the same: a small cozy space with black and white checkered floors and soft red cushioned booths. It has the same neon lights with the name “Granny’s” in red hanging from the sign outside. It all reminds Emma of home, and of the memories she has of sitting in the corner booth for hours at a time. 

Granny herself is the same, too, albeit a little bit older, but she still smiles the same and her hugs feel like a warm cup of cocoa on a freezing day.

“So is this the fiancé?” Granny asks, turning to look at Killian with narrowed eyes.

Emma hums. She wraps her fingers around his arm and puts her chin on the rough leather of his jacket. “Yep. This is him.”

Granny gives Killian a once-over in silence before she nods. “Alright. I think he’ll do.”

Emma laughs and so does Killian.

It’s funny, she thinks, how easily they’ve fallen into this. He seems to know exactly what to say and how to act, and even with everything seeming to be a complete disaster at the moment, he’s not panicked.

There’s a quiet part of her that’s getting louder by the day, whispering, _he’s in love, that’s why it’s so easy._

For now, she’s able to quiet the voice in her heart, the one she knows is right, but she fears the day when that voice will be too loud to silence.

“I’m giving him the grand tour,” Emma explains. “And this is our first stop.”

Granny winks at Emma. She pats Killian on the arm. “Well, welcome to Misthaven. How about we get you some breakfast?”

“Sounds delightful.”

Glancing back, she meets Graham’s eyes. He’d decided to tag along for at least a little while, something that she can tell Killian isn’t exactly thrilled about. But it’d been _so_ long since she’d seen him.

Killian sits beside her in what once was her favorite booth, his body close to hers in a way that it really doesn’t have to be. Opposite them, Graham pulls off his scarf and beanie. His cheeks are pink and he smiles brightly.

“It’s been a long time since we’ve been in this booth together.”

Emma can’t help but laugh. For some reason, she feels giddy being back with Graham again. It had been several years since they’d last talked, much less been _together_ , and while she knows she’s supposed to be engaged, she technically _isn’t_ , so what’s the harm in a little giddiness?

“I know. We were kids last time we were here.”

“So you were an item… how long ago?” Killian wonders, forcing Emma to remember that she needs to stay on script.

“Why? Are you jealous?” Emma teases, making Graham laugh.

“It was a _long_ time ago, I assure you.” Her old friend says. “I’m just excited to see my friend again. I’m sure you can understand.”

Killian doesn’t respond right away. He wraps his arm around her, somehow pulling her closer to him than she thought possible. “Of course.”

Graham looks between them for a beat. “You know, I’ve been thinking about writing a book.”

Emma’s eyes widen. “Really? What about? If I can ask.”

He hums. Sitting back a little, he taps his fingers against the table. “No, that’s alright. It’s just this goofy idea I had about a pair of friends who agree to pretend they’re engaged over the holidays.”

Emma stares back at Graham silently, feeling the blood absolutely drain from her face in mere fractions of a second. Her mouth falls open and struggles to breathe.

There’s no way he knows. There’s _no way_. They haven’t told anyone the truth. Literally _no one knows_.

She laughs, forcing herself back into Engaged Emma Mode. “That sounds pretty fun.”

Graham hums. His resolve has not cracked, but she thinks there’s something odd in the way he stares at Killian. 

“Well, I’d love to read it if you do write it,” Killian says warmly. “I’m something of an avid reader.”

Emma nods. “He is. You should see his office back home. It’s literally wall-to-wall bookshelves.”

Graham’s phone vibrates on the tabletop before he can respond to them, something of a blessing. He curses under his breath. “Apologies… this would be work. Can’t seem to get away.”

When Graham sneaks away, stepping out of the diner to take his call just outside, Emma releases a pent up breath. 

“So this is the place, hm?” Killian asks. She looks at him, finding his gaze traveling along the walls of the diner. “I like it. It’s small, but homely. Granny seems nice.”

When he looks at her, Emma nods in agreement. “Yeah.”

She finds herself twisting the engagement ring on her finger and sitting back in her seat. Her mind starts drifting back to the kiss they’d shared, for no reason but to make herself blush. She and Killian have been friends for five years and now they’ve kissed. Talk about _confusing_.

It’s probably something they really need to talk about, and not in the way they’ve _sort of_ talked about it already. Friends might on occasion pretend to be engaged, and they might share a bed to spare the other the discomfort of the floor, but they probably don’t kiss. Not in her experience anyway.

Putting aside the words unspoken, Emma nervously bites on her lip. Graham’s acting weird, and not in a normal weird kind of way.

“Do you think Graham knows something, somehow?”

Killian turns to her, surprised by her question. “What?”

“Something’s weird about him.” Emma shakes her head. “I don’t know.”

He stares at her, his gaze a little dark. “You know him better than I do.”

Emma’s brow furrows. “What’s going on with you?”

Her best friend sighs. “Nothing. It’s just…” He pauses, shaking his head. “Today has been one hit after another. Truthfully, I’m starting to regret coming.”

Emma’s heart sinks toward her belly. She reaches for his hand beneath the table and searches his eyes. “I’m sorry.”

Killian gives her a tiny smile and surprises her when he leans in close. He squeezes her hand and whispers, “You deserve to have had this experience with someone you love. To have it for real. Not playing pretend, with me.”

Emma finds herself feeling _confused_. While she knows what he’s saying is the same way she feels, there’s something deep within her that doesn’t want him to regret coming home with her. 

“Killian…”

“We can finish the week,” he promises, “but I… don’t know what will become of us after that.”

She isn’t sure what he means, but the idea of losing him absolutely terrifies her. 

Graham returns to the table then, a smile on his lips. “Apologies. What’d I miss?”

Emma shakes her head, forcing herself to smile back. “Nothing. We were just talking about what we think we want to eat.”

He hums thoughtfully. “You’re lying.”

Emma gapes at him. “What? No I’m not.”

“You are. You always do this fake smile when you’re lying.”

Offended, she turns to Killian. He shrugs, a tiny smirk on his lips. “You do.”

Emma shakes her head. “Well, I’m sorry? I don’t…”

“Look, Emma, I know.” Graham says in a low voice. “You’re lying.”

Emma’s eyes widen. She’s not willing to budge. Not yet. She doesn’t have full evidence that he _knows_. “I told you what we were talking about-”

Graham sits forward. “I know you’re not actually engaged.”

Furrowing her brow, Emma shakes her head and scoffs. “Seriously? That’s what you think?”

Sighing, Graham seems to hesitate before he says quietly, “It’s a long story, but I’m friends with Liam. Killian’s brother?” Beside her, Killian tenses at the very specific mention. “He’s been texting me this morning. Seems he’s shocked to learn about how _serious_ this engagement is.”

Emma’s mouth falls open. Dumb as it is, she hadn’t even considered how Liam might be handling it. 

Killian clears his throat, extending a hand to try and smooth this over. “Look… if you…”

“It’s true.” Emma says, nodding, and Graham offers her a smug little grin in return. “We came here not engaged, but…” She shrugs her shoulders. “Something changed, and now it’s real. We’re getting married.”

Graham seems confused, his brow knitted as he tilts his head to the side ever so slightly. “So you were accidentally actually engaged.”

Laughing at the stupidity of this hole she keeps digging, Emma nods. “Yeah. I guess so.”

“Huh. Okay.” Graham pauses, looking between them, as if trying to detect a lie. “I’ll let you handle your brother, Killian. I’m actually glad to hear you’re serious. I can’t imagine someone coming all this way, lying to the royal family about your engagement. Especially since we all know what engagement in Misthaven means.”

The way Graham stares at Emma gives her back a memory long since suppressed. She gasps, shaking her head desperately, trying to shut Graham up.

“What does it mean?” Killian asks, completely innocent.

Graham laughs with a touch of pity in his gaze. “Well, traditionally, the heir to the throne is supposed to take over for the king and queen and… kind of a key part of that is getting the royal blessing before they’re married. I imagine you’ve already got that, right?”

Emma’s best friend exchanges a look with her. “Erm…”

“Not yet.” Emma says on Killian’s behalf. She turns to Graham. “The council has, what, one meeting this week? We aren’t going to ask for their blessing until we’re ready anyway. There’s just no point rushing things.”

Graham laughs. “Emma, you’re well past due. You were supposed to be married last year.” He pauses, grimacing a little. “According to tradition.” He taps his knuckles against the hard table. “Though, we all know you aren’t following tradition, because if you were, you’d be here. Not in New York.”

“Exactly.” Emma practically bites back. “We’re just here for Christmas.”

The man sitting across from her smiles slightly. He leans back against the cushioned booth. “It’s interesting that you think it’ll be possible for you to keep running away from your responsibility.”

“I’m not running away. I’m living my life. My parents respect that.”

Killian shifts beside her, his arm circling her waist beneath the table. It’s comforting, knowing he’s _here_. 

“Mate, I think we should drop the topic. Emma’s said her piece.”

Graham briefly looks at Killian. “I don’t think you know enough about what’s going on here.”

“There’s nothing to know,” Emma says defensively. “Look, Graham, I don’t know what happened to my friend, but you’re not him.”

Graham seems to have something else on his mind. He fidgets, tapping the edge of the table with his fingertips, and sighs. “Okay. Fine. I wasn’t supposed to say it, but Regina’s back on the council.”

Emma’s eyes widen. “Regina.”

“Yes.”

The memories, all bad, flood Emma’s mind in an angry wave. She physically begins to clench her fists at the mere mention of the woman’s name as her heart begins to beat faster.

“The woman who made my parents’ lives a living hell? That Regina?”

Graham nods on a sigh. “And she’s not exactly in a giving and caring sort of mood lately. The fact that she’s back on the council should be evidence of that. I’m surprised you haven’t heard this from the queen already.”

“There hasn’t been a ton of time to talk gossip.” Emma shakes her head. She grimaces. “No wonder they’ve been pushing so hard. I thought it was just general excitement that we’re here.”

“All I’m saying, Emma, is the second you show any weakness toward your place, especially now that you’re here again, you have to know she’ll be there in a heartbeat.”

“Yeah.” Emma closes her eyes. Somehow, the worst situation she’s ever put herself in is a hundred times worse now. When she opens her eyes again, she dares to ask, “How long do you think we have?”

Graham shakes his head slowly. “I don’t know. Maybe a day or two. If you’re lucky. I just heard this morning that she was planning on presenting a claim soon.”

“Who’d you hear it from?”

“Elsa. She’s still cozy with Phillip.”

Emma hums. She twists her engagement ring. “Okay.”

“I’m all for you returning to your life in America, but… I don’t think anybody in Misthaven would forgive you if she took control again.”

“If the crown goes to Regina, I’ll never forgive _myself_.” Emma says, beginning to feel sick to her stomach. “I can’t let her just take it.” 

\+ + +

Emma and Killian’s tour of Misthaven begins in the small town square at the foot of the mountain beneath the castle. 

They walk side-by-side down the cobblestone sidewalk and Emma points out places she used to frequent, laughing when Killian asks her purposefully silly questions about the architecture style and the contents of window displays. 

In his smile, she finds comfort that she sorely needs, especially after learning that their time in Misthaven is about to become a lot more difficult and complex. Emma isn’t sure Killian understands that… not yet, at least, and she worries that once she shares the details with him, he’ll completely run back to New York. 

She wouldn’t blame him if he did, but at the same time… they’ve come so far.

There are Christmas lights hanging from nearly every rooftop, and snow dusts the sidewalks. Children run through the snow with laughter spilling from their lips and shoppers bustle through the stores, bags in their arms filled with gifts to bring home and wrap.

Emma is recognized more than once, but she takes it all in stride, grinning wide as Killian takes each of the photos with charm and grace. Sometimes, people ask for a picture with Killian too, which is funny to Emma, but she allows it happily once she learns he’s okay with it.

“Can we all take a picture together?” a young girl asks, holding out her phone in preparation to take a selfie.

“Yeah!” Emma shrugs her shoulders, trying to be light and kind. 

She and Killian act like the bread to the photograph’s sandwich, the young girl in between them grinning from ear-to-ear. Once they pull away, Emma smiles.

“Thank you so much, Princess Emma. I know you’re probably so busy today. Christmas is in just a few days.”

“No, please,” Emma shakes her head humbly. “I love being here, meeting everyone. It’s been a long time.”

The girl nods. “We missed you, Your Highness.” Looking at Killian, a little blush fills her cheeks. “I hope you don’t mind me saying it, but I can’t wait for your wedding.”

They both laugh. “Oh, well, thank you. We can’t wait either.”

Lying to her family hurts in a very specific way. She knows that she’ll be able to recover from that type of lie. And perhaps the same grace will extend to the lies she’s told her friends as well. 

But lying to innocent strangers, particularly the people of her beloved Misthaven, it's a unique kind of ache that very nearly makes her dizzy from the gut punch she feels each time.

Emma struggles to maintain a smile as they walk away from the girl with the selfie, so she doesn’t force the effort. Instead, she sets her thoughts on the tour through the village again.

She gets an idea as they’re walking back towards the castle, both of them suddenly just a little bit too cold and in need of a hot chocolate and a nice warm fireplace. Biting at her lip, she falls back just slightly for just long enough to kneel down and ball up a clump of snow.

It’s _perfect_ for snowball formation, she finds out with a wicked grin. Killian barely turns toward her when she pelts his shoulder with the clump of snow.

He gasps, laughing at her. “Oh, so that’s how you’d like to play, eh, Princess?”

Emma chuckles and lifts her eyebrows. “Are you going to do anything about it?”

The taunt makes his eyes widen ever so slightly and she watches him kneel down to gather up some snow as she does the same. She moves quickly enough to run forward, tossing a snowball that hits him in the stomach as he aims for her shoulder but just barely misses.

“ _Oh_!” Emma teases. “Didn’t think you were such a terrible shot, Jones.”

Killian groans while she balls up a few more weapons to use against him. They’re standing in the circular drive of the castle now, just a couple dozen feet to the front door, but Emma finds herself more excited about playing in the snow like she’s a little kid again with her best friend.

Soon enough, they end up colliding, both of them falling back into the snow with laughter bubbling past their lips. 

It’s easy, staring at him now. She’s freezing and wet, but he’s here and his eyes are so bright and his laughter is so impossibly warm. Somehow, after every lie, after every secret, he’s still here, and he’s still her best friend.

“Bloody hell, Nolan, why are you always trying to beat me up?”

Emma laughs once. “I’m not trying to beat you up.” He gives her a look that she giggles at before he collapses back into the snow on a weary grunt. She presses upward to sit at his side. “Come on, let’s get back inside for hot chocolate.”

“Help me, Emma,” he whines as she stands up. “I think you threw my back out tackling me to the ground.”

Emma hums skeptically. She reaches out for his extended arm and tugs just enough that he’ll pull himself to his feet. 

They’re toe-to-toe catching their breath and Emma lifts her brows at him. 

“You okay? Do you need me to kiss it better?” 

She’d meant it in a teasing manner, although the choice of words are almost shockingly awful in immediate retrospect. With all of the tension between them, especially after having kissed only a day ago, Emma’s stomach swoops low and she immediately loses her smile as she steps back.

“Ah…” she hesitates, closing her eyes. She shakes her head. “Sorry. That was… ill timed.”

Emma takes a step back. Killian averts his gaze momentarily and then pulls on a smile. “I’ll forgive it if we can get some cocoa inside.”

Her heart catches in her throat and she takes a steadying breath. “Alright.”

Together, they walk inside the castle in a slightly irritating silence: the kind that sends shivers down her spine and digs just beneath her skin. 

She can practically hear him thinking. She knows this whole thing is not what he signed up for, and she’s doing her best to make it easier, but none of this was what she wanted either.

_Maybe he’s in love with you_. 

The thought pops into her head unwarranted and immediately, she goes cold. Her heart stops beating and she almost misses a step, but catches herself in the nick of time.

_No_. He doesn't love her. If he did, he would have said something. Wouldn’t he have?

It’s almost too much to bear, so she hides the thoughts away and shakes her head minutely as they slip into the warmth of the castle entry. She can hear her mother’s voice carrying from a nearby room, saying something with a happy laugh.

Regardless of what’s going on with Killian, she’s glad that her parents are happy that she’s home again. She’s happy too, in some messed up way. 

“Hey,” Emma speaks up, turning to look at Killian. “The stuff that Graham and I were talking about at the diner...”

A slow, easy smile spreads on his face. “I gather it’s not good for anyone.”

She shakes her head. “No. Especially for you.” 

Guilt floods her body from head to toe. This isn’t fair to him. This is, bar none, the very worst thing that could have happened. And that’s saying something, because so far… stuff hasn’t exactly been great. 

“Regina did a lot of awful things to my family. To my mom, mostly. She once started a fire in Leo’s bedroom when he was six months old. There wasn’t any proof, but… they knew it was her.”

There are so many stories Emma could tell him, but there just isn’t any time.

“Killian, I didn’t think coming here would mean any of this. If I did, I never would have even asked you to come. I thought we’d show up, stay the week, and go back to life as normal back in the city. I… guess I thought things would be different here. That they’d understand more and would still want me to live the life that I wanted.”

Her best friend nods. He understands. He always does. 

“In all fairness to you, it does seem things were stacked against your idea of a week back home again. I’m just curious when your parents were thinking of asking us to move forward.”

Emma sighs. “I think Mom wants to talk about it, but she’s too kind to force me to do anything. When I was younger, she tried to fit me into a role, but it never worked.”

He hums, smiling a little. “You’re not like any other princess I’ve ever known.”

She laughs through her nose. “Yeah.” 

Thoughtfully, they continue to make their way through the castle toward their apartment. Her engagement ring feels increasingly heavy with every step. There is truly no way out unless she were to tell them the truth. 

But the truth is hard. The truth, quite frankly, _sucks_. 

She and Killian redress out of their cold and damp clothes in individual silence, Emma standing in the closet while he takes the bathroom. 

This is probably the moment she should tell him what she’s thinking: that it’s finally time to be honest, to pull back on the lies and try and save face while the lies haven’t gotten to a crescendo yet.

Emma discovers the bathroom door still closed when she emerges in a new outfit. He’s taking a while, but she can’t hear any noise coming from inside. She imagines he must be thinking, not wanting to be with her for a few moments while he considers his choices.

Pressing her hand to the door, Emma says in a quiet voice, “I think we need to come clean. There’s no way around it now. As much as I hate to do this to everyone… it’s wrong. It was wrong when we got here, and it’ll just get worse.”

Killian is silent. She crosses the room to her bed and sits. She fidgets with the ring, the habit becoming far too common. 

“I can still fight if I stay. At least, I hope so.” Emma pauses, staring at the closed door. “We can get you on a flight home in the morning and you’ll be back in time for Christmas with Liam. If you want.”

He’s still brutally silent and the door is still closed. 

Sighing heavily, Emma falls back into her bed, staring up at the plain ceiling. Somehow, she knew this would happen. The crown and her duty was always going to bring her back, no matter how hard she tried to run and hide.

The door to the bathroom finally opens. She hears him walk toward her and stop. He looks down at her, seeming upset. 

With a worried furrow in her brow, Emma sits up. “What’s going on?”

Killian shakes his head. “I got a message from my dad congratulating me. He wants to talk.”

Emma’s eyes widen in surprise. 

Killian grew up without his parents, relying instead only on his older brother’s strength and guidance. His father, as far as she’d known, had only contacted his sons on the rarest occasion, only if he wanted something, and it always, _always_ caused a rift between Liam and Killian.

Her best friend sits beside her, silent. 

After a minute or two, he speaks again, “There are articles. Gossip magazines. Posts on social media. Some claim that we are faking it. He wants to know if it’s true that I’m marrying a princess.”

Emma peers up at him, guilt hitting her in a hard pang all over again. She feels a chill run down her spine as she shakes her head. “You don’t have to talk to him.”

Killian’s eyes squeeze shut and he puts his hands over his face. “Bloody hell, Emma. My _father_ found out. This is so much worse than it was even just this morning, when we were being interviewed for television.”

“I know,” Emma whispers, desperately shaking her head. “I know. I’m sorry. We’ll… explain to my parents that we didn’t think it would get this far and we’ll stop all of this right now.”

He doesn’t seem to be on board with her plan. His shoulders fall in a deep shrug and he gives her a weary look. “Emma, your parents are king and queen. They have put their names and reputation on the line. Announcing our engagement only to announce our break up… that says volumes of all of us to the entire bloody world.”

Emma stares back at him, feeling the anger bubbling under his skin spreading under hers. “So what do you want to do? Actually get married? Stay together for a year and then try to quietly separate?”

Sighing heavily, Killian shakes his head. He looks up at the ceiling and then stands up, beginning to pace around the room in a deep thoughtful silence. 

“What’s more important to you?” he finally asks, “Your parents’ reputation, or yours?”

Emma laughs in disbelief. She stands up to be at his level. “You can’t pretend you don’t matter here. We’re talking about a marriage. And even bigger than that, a crown.”

When he doesn’t immediately reply, Emma laughs again, completely in shock that he would even consider putting aside his own reputation to protect her. Now it’s her turn to begin to pace, her toes digging into the plush carpeting while she considers every possible angle to this situation.

“I mean, if we got married, we could probably get away with having you here only half of the year if we said you had business to wrap up in New York… but I don’t know how we could safely explain any of this to Liam or any of our friends…”

“I’ll do it.”

“And I can’t even begin to think about… _what_?” 

Emma stops in her tracks, her heart pounding in her ears. She turns, finding her best friend standing completely still, staring back at her with the softest kind of honesty in his eyes.

“I said I’d do it.”

She shakes her head. “No, no, no. You can’t. This is a bad idea. There’s no coming back from this sort of thing.”

“You’re my best friend.” Killian says, gesturing out toward her with one arm. “If I had to marry anyone, I’d think marrying you would be the safest bet for a happy life.”

Emma shakes her head. “No. We can’t. This isn’t… we aren’t _together_. We’re _friends_. We…” 

Her heart races faster. She steps back, looking at him still. 

“There has to be another solution. There always is. My parents will know what to do. We just have to tell them the truth.”

“What do you think they’ll say?”

Closing her eyes, she shakes her head. “They’ll take the hit on their reputation in a heartbeat. And it isn’t as if it matters to them, it’s just… if they were to give me the crown after that…”

“There might be questions of their judgement and your loyalty.”

Emma puts her hands over her face. 

Why can’t this just fall into place? Why can’t she fit all of the pieces together?

She knows it’s all so terribly wrong: the lies, the covering up, the _Regina_ of it all… and she knows that continuing to try covering it up is even more wrong. The desperation to fix this is not worth all of the pain. 

It isn’t worth absolutely shattering Killian’s life just so that she can be the person she never actually wanted to be.

“I had this whole romanticized dream about finding love in a new place,” Emma says, sinking back down onto her bed. She sighs through her nose. “Where people wouldn’t know who I am, and it would be a pure kind of love that wasn’t forced or planned. And, somehow, stupidly, I thought maybe I’d feel confident enough to return here and be queen on my own schedule once I had found love. As if that was an actual solution...”

“And now, I have to become queen as quickly as possible just to save Misthaven from a woman who would rather see this place turned into dust.”

Killian’s quiet. He stays that way for a few long seconds, out of her eye line until he decides to approach her. He kneels in front of her, meeting her where she is, and searches her eyes. 

“We can find a solution. I believe that. But I think we save face first: protect your parents, protect the crown, keep your name clear, and see what happens next.”

She feels sick. Her head aches. Her stomach tosses. Her hands are sweaty. 

“No,” Emma whispers. “You didn’t ask to be pulled into any of this. It’s not fair to you. You have a life in New York. A job. Friends. Liam.”

“Do you think I’d be alright knowing you were here, missing everything you left behind? So that you could be princess thousands of miles away from me and Liam and my friends and job?”

Emma groans, feeling weak again. “Killian.”

“Now that I know the consequences of our actions, I have to do the honorable thing and follow through, as long as you’re committed to doing the same.”

She frowns. “The honorable thing would be to let me own up to this. I’ll take the blame and deal with what happens after that. It was my idea. I should’ve known something like this would happen.”

Emma stands and steps toward the door, ready to go find her mother. 

“Where are you going?”

“I’m going to find my parents and tell them the truth. You’re my best friend. We aren’t engaged. We shouldn’t have lied to them.”

Emma’s phone rings. She glances down at the caller and her heart skips a beat. _Regina._


	9. Trouble in Paradise

**Chapter Nine** | Trouble in Paradise

**Seven Years Ago, Misthaven**

Emma sits alone on her rooftop terrace, gazing out at the sun as it sets just behind her. Her knees curled to her chest, she listens to the sound of her breathing, and focuses her anger on the way her fingernails dig into the flesh of her palm.

She can hear the door to the rooftop open, but she doesn’t turn to see who it might be. 

Silently, she keeps still, looking at the sun as it kisses the tops of the mountain peaks. She can hear footsteps, steady and slow, but still she doesn’t turn.

“You know, your mother used to come up here all the time.”

At the sound of her voice, Emma finally turns her head. Her grandmother stands just a few feet away, dressed in a tight dark red dress, her favorite pair of heels lifting her a few inches off the ground. She smiles ever so slightly at her before stepping towards the bench.

“After we’d get into arguments, I would find her here, in this very spot, looking out at the sunset.” Regina sits on the couch beside Emma and turns her body so that she too can peer out at the land. Sighing softly, she chuckles under her breath. “It really is quite beautiful, isn’t it, Emma?”

Meeting her eyes again, Regina tilts her head to the side and lifts a hand to brush the hair out of Emma’s face. 

“I heard you had a fight. Do you want to talk about it?”

Emma scoffs. She pulls away from her step grandmother’s touch, dropping her legs so that her feet touch the ground again. She stares at the wall ahead of her instead, worrying her teeth over her lower lip.

“Why do you care?”

Regina is quiet for a moment. “Because we talk to each other. Don’t we? The two of us are friends.”

Emma peers over at the woman sitting beside her. She swallows the lump in her throat. “Mom doesn’t want me to keep dating Neal.”

Her grandmother hums thoughtfully. “I see.”

“She says he’s bad for me and that he won’t make a good leader.” Emma says, feeling her chest begin to ache. “ _That’s_ the worst part. I don’t know why. She just assumes I’m going to do what she did and get married as quickly as I can.”

“You don’t have to listen to her, Emma.”

Clenching her teeth, Emma shakes her head. “She’s my mother. She’s the queen. _My_ queen. I have no choice.”

Gently, Regina reaches out her hand again, this time running her fingers through Emma’s hair. “You always have a choice. No matter what she says, she’ll always love you no matter what you choose to do. So… if your heart chooses him...”

Emma smiles softly to herself, closing her eyes tightly. “I wish we could run away. Be together somewhere new.”

Regina stops running her fingers through Emma’s hair, instead settling them together in her lap. “Well, I think you should. When you’re old enough. Like we’ve discussed.”

Emma meets Regina’s eyes. There are few things that make her feel as disgusting as she does when she’s talking to her grandmother about their secret plot. For a long time, Regina had waved the idea off, but recently, she’s seemed to be more interested.

Even though it feels bad to talk about, leaving Misthaven forever, there’s part of Emma that gets a little giddy when she thinks of it.

“Maybe…” Emma shakes her head. “I don’t know. Is it really the best idea to leave? What if I change my mind? What if, after I move away, something happens here that makes it so I need to come back?”

Regina’s eyes grow wide. “You’ve been talking about this your whole life. Ever since you were a little girl. Remember? Just a few more years and you can do it the right way.”

Emma grabs for the ring hanging from a necklace around her neck. She pulls it out, revealing it to her grandmother. “He gave this to me. I think we’re going to get married.”

A smile fills Regina’s face. “Wouldn’t that be wonderful? You can start your new life with someone you love.”

“Yeah,” Emma smiles back. “That would be wonderful.”

\+ + +

**Present Day**

“Emma, I am _so_ surprised you haven’t stopped by to say hello to your dear old grandmother.” Regina says, all fake nice. She can practically hear the terrible fake smile to go along with it over the phone. 

Emma hums, playing nice along with the woman as much as she can. “I’m sorry. I’ve just been so busy. We’re only here for the week and want to spend as much time with the family as possible.”

“Oh, I understand completely.” Regina says. A pause. “Were you two planning on having your visit with members of the council? Engaged couples usually make their announcement to the world _after_ getting the council’s blessing… but I guess your mother had different ideas about things this time.”

Emma bites her lip, hesitant. She looks at Killian and curls an arm across her chest. “No, we weren’t planning on visiting with the council this time. We’re just here for Christmas. That’s all.”

Regina chuckles to herself. “Well, as you know, Emma, I do have the right to ask the council to convene and discuss your absence from your own kingdom. Your mother has used the excuse that you’re educating yourself in America, but I think we can all see-“

“Regina, Killian and I are getting married on our own timetable.”

“You know, that’s exactly what I’m hearing. I’m also hearing a rumor that you two… well, you’re not exactly really engaged. Just playing a little bit of pretend. I do wonder if that’s because you want mommy and daddy dearest to officially renounce you...”

Rage begins to boil under her skin for not the first time in the past couple of minutes. She grits her teeth and replies sharply, “I don’t want that, Regina. Trust me. I’m dedicated and devoted to Misthaven, as I always have been since I was a little girl.”

“Then why aren’t you here?” Regina wonders, the question as innocuous as any, but her tone slick with the grossest slime. “Why have you been _gone_ for five years? The council’s patience is wearing thin. They want clarity on who will inherit the throne.”

“If not me, Leopold-“

“Leopold,” Regina snorts. Her tone has shifted dramatically now, becoming far more dark with hatred. “By the time he’s old enough, I’ll have plenty of support to do what I please. If you’re serious about Misthaven, Emma, then you need to show it. Stop hiding. Stop pretending. Otherwise, I have someone I’ve been grooming that would fit your role perfectly, so if it needs to come to that, we’ll see who the council sides with.”

Angry, Emma curls her free hand into a fist. “Regina. My loyalty is with Misthaven. I don’t know why I have to tell you this over and over again. I didn’t ever abdicate for a reason.”

“Prove. It.”

_Click_. 

Still upset, Emma feels her hands tremble as she sets her phone down on a nearby table. She presses her hands against her face and very nearly screams. 

“I take it that the call didn’t go well.”

Looking up in surprise, she finds Killian watching her warily. She shakes her head, allowing the anger she feels to roll off her shoulders. 

“No. Regina has someone she’s prepared to use against me. And, she knows we’re faking.” Emma swallows at the lump in her throat. “Of _course_ she does. She somehow always knows everything.”

Killian takes a step toward her. He sighs heavily. “Well, we seem to be at an impasse.”

Nerves tickle at her belly. She hates that this is happening. Hates that she dragged him into her own mess. Hates that somehow, every second they’ve been here has become progressively worse. 

But most of all, she hates the fact that he’s so willing to dive straight into the mess.

“We either need to come clean, be honest, and risk losing any chance at saving Misthaven from Regina’s wiles when the council meets to give their approval for your succession,” Killian says, keeping his voice even tempered, “or,” pausing briefly, Killian steels himself with a fist at his side that he unfurls as he breathes, “we need to get married. Face the council as an engaged couple. Take the crown before Regina can.”

Hearing their choices does not make this any easier. If anything, it makes this that much more difficult. Either choice lands her in hot water. If she chooses the honest path, there’s no telling where the council will lean, and as silly as it sounds, she worries she’ll lose Killian. 

“If we get married… that’s it.” Emma says, feeling her hands begin to tremble at her sides. Her voice shakes ever so slightly with anxiety when she speaks, “We can’t date other people. Eyes are everywhere. Press will hold us accountable to the council, and to the people of Misthaven. What if you meet the girl you’re supposed to be with?”

He laughs, so suddenly that it almost startles her. “I doubt that would happen.”

Emma gives him a hard look. “You might not do girlfriends, but I know you do take girls home with you for the night. I’ve seen them… long legs, no brains, absolutely wasted...”

Embarrassed, he blushes, looking down at his feet where he shifts uncomfortably in place. “Erm…”

Emma sighs. “Exactly.” She steadies herself, trying to even out her breathing. “We’ll go down and find my parents. Tell them the truth. Honesty is always the best policy, right? Maybe it won’t be as bad as we think.”

Her best friend reaches for her left hand, almost frantic. “Emma. Let me do this. I _want_ to.”

“You want to marry me and become king of a country you didn’t even know existed last week?”

Killian nods. There’s honesty in his eyes. “Aye.”

Her belly in knots, Emma stares at him in silence. She isn’t sure if she believes any person could be _this_ completely selfless to throw everything in their life away to start something new altogether. 

She takes a trembling breath. “Are we actually doing this? For real?”

Her best friend takes a similarly shaking breath. “Only if you’re willing.”

It isn’t fair, to either of them, but it sure does feel like it’s the best thing to do. Emma is quiet for a long time, hesitant, considering all of their options. All she can hear is Regina’s voice in her ear, a threat of losing everything.

“Okay. We’ll do it.”

\+ + +

They’re engaged. _They’re engaged._

For real, they’re engaged. To be married. 

He is going to marry Emma. 

Killian isn’t sure how it’s happened, but he’s in love with a woman who doesn’t know how he feels and he’s _marrying_ her. 

Emma is quiet in the moments that follow their decision to properly get married. There’s a lot going through his mind as well, so he can’t blame her. 

“What’s the first step?” Killian asks, considering everything going on. “To get things moving?”

She sighs, reaching up with her left hand to rub her temple. Her engagement ring sparkles a little bit brighter now, even if it’s not a ring he’d found and given her himself. 

“Well, we should probably talk to my parents.” Emma nibbles on her lip thoughtfully. “Tell them what Regina just said. And then… plan on getting the council’s blessing before Christmas, because they take the month off after. It’s a whole… thing. Tradition.”

Killian hums in understanding of the timeline of events she’s laid out. “What’s expected of me?”

The smallest smile fills her lips. “You’re going to have an interview. They’re going to ask some questions about your background, and about our relationship. It’s very rare that they won’t give their blessing.”

“So it’s happened before.”

She shakes her head, giving him a bit of a frustrated look. “I don’t know.”

“Right. You’re just about to be queen.”

Emma glares at him. He chuckles, moving close to her.

“I know I’m not an expert on royalty, but I know you. You’re going to be a good queen.”

His fiancée wraps her arms around his middle and steps into him for a tight hug. They stand in silence for a few moments before there’s a gentle knock at the door. 

Emma pulls away from him, tears of anxiety in her eyes. He gives her a smile. 

“Everything is going to be okay, Emma.”

She nods softly. “Yeah.” With her head in the clouds, she walks toward the door and when she pulls it open, she pulls on a happy smile. “Hi!”

It’s her mother, a woman who always seems to show up when she’s needed most. 

“Hi! I was just coming by to see if you two would be up for a little Christmas bake off?”

Killian steps beside Emma at the door and she looks up at him, lifting one eyebrow. It’s funny, how things have so quickly shifted back to Christmas. 

“Sounds like fun.” Killian says, looking at his future mother in law with a grin. “Cookies or gingerbread houses?”

Mary Margaret laughs. “Gingerbread people!”

\+ + +

It is absolutely absurd how attractive he finds Emma when they’re standing side by side in the dining room, cookies and bowls of decorating tools laid out in front of them. 

She’s got her hair tied back in a ponytail and her sleeves rolled up past her elbows. Her laugh is infectious and loud, a stark contrast to the anguished conversations they’d had earlier. 

It would be easy to forget that they were about to attempt and pull off this giant con, were it not for the sick feeling he still has in his stomach, and the way he catches Emma glancing at him in the silent beats. 

Maybe the worst part of this lie is the lie they’re telling themselves.

For the cookie decorating competition, they’re going up against the ever so practiced king and queen, while Leo paces the table as the unbiased judge. Their goal is to decorate a series of cookies to a theme, with one of them blindfolded as the other acts as their eyes. 

Emma seems nervous when he steps behind her to slide the fabric over her eyes. 

“You okay?”

She laughs. “You’re the worst with this kind of stuff. Forgive me for being a little nervous.”

“Alright, Nolan.” He fakes offense. “If we’re being brutally honest, icing is not your strong suit even when you _have_ eyes.”

Emma huffs. “Alright, _teammate_ , just help me with the blindfold.”

Gently, he brushes his fingers against hers where she tries to hold the blindfold. He ties it off behind her head and plants a soft kiss to her cheek. 

“Alright. Let’s go, love. We’ve got this.”

Emma smiles up at him, a little lost with her blindfold, and reaches out to touch his arm. “Don’t let me forget I want to sneak some cookies up to our room.”

“A little midnight snack.” He nods in approval. “I like it.”

Leopold holds a stopwatch in one hand and wears a good natured smirk on his lips as he assesses the display in front of him. Briefly, Leo meets Killian’s eyes and offers him a nod. 

“Okay, everyone ready?” their judge asks, turning mostly toward his parents for the go ahead. 

“Let’s go!” Mary Margaret, blindfolded, jumps and claps her hands. “I’m ready!”

Killian and David both laugh at just how eager the queen seems to be for something so innocuous. Now, Killian can see where Emma gets her competitive nature. 

“Emma, ready?” Leo asks.

Emma bobs her head and holds her hands out in front of her, wiggling her fingers as if limbering up. “Super ready.”

“Alright… best of luck everyone. Have fun.” Leo says. He presses the start button on his stopwatch and calls out, “Go!”

As was predicted, Emma struggles with the icing almost instantly. She can’t get it to squeeze out of the tube at first, and once he helps loosen it up a bit, she ends up getting it all over the table, decidedly _not_ on their cookies. 

Laughter bubbling between them, Killian tries to instruct her to grab some sprinkles instead, but she ends up pivoting and squirting the frosting on him.

“Oh no! Did I just…”

He laughs. “Yes. You got me.”

Emma giggles back, a little blush on her cheeks. “I’m sorry. Where’s the table? Where are the sprinkles? How do I do this? We need to win!”

Glancing up, he finds the king physically guiding Mary Margaret’s hand, something that was supposedly against the rules. Fair is fair. Killian settles his hands on Emma’s hips and helps pivot her to face the table, then pulls her hand over to the sprinkles. 

“There they are. Okay? Try not to get these on me too.”

She laughs again. “Yes. Thank you, Killian. You’re my hero.”

He isn’t sure how, but he finds himself falling in love with Emma all the more over the course of the challenge, both of them covered in frosting and rainbow sprinkles by the end. 

Once time is called by a very enthusiastic Prince Leo, Emma pulls off her blindfold and almost instantly turns to him, jaw agape. 

“You liar! You told me they looked _good_!”

Killian chuckles. “They are good!” He gestures out to the two Emma was actually able to decorate somewhat appropriately. “I mean… for being blindfolded, this is a damn near miracle. Let’s be honest, Emma.”

She twists her lips, trying not to smile, and swats her hand against his chest. “You’re the worst.” 

He can’t help but smirk, pinching her belly where she’s ticklish to make her laugh on purpose. 

She squeaks, bouncing away from his fingers and directs her pointer finger his way. “You are the worst to me and I hate you.” 

Killian clasps his hands together over his heart. “Ah well. It was fun while it lasted… I guess it’s finally time for me to take a long journey through the wilderness of a foreign country and find myself.”

His fiancée steps close to him and pushes up onto her toes, gripping his shirt between her icing-sticky fingers. “I’m teasing. Don’t go anywhere without me.”

Killian smiles, feeling warm from her proximity, and feels a wave of longing wash over him. “I would never.”

Emma sighs wistfully, moving over to the cookies at the table again. “Well, luckily we don’t have to share these with anyone.”

“Well, gang,” Leo says, approaching the two of them and their horrific display. “What do we have here? Oh, good… _gravy_. Emma, do you even know how to follow directions?”

Emma gives her brother an annoyed look. “I was _blindfolded_. Thank you for your input. Next time, maybe we should blindfold _you_ while you judge who wins.”

Emma’s younger brother snorts a laugh. “Great idea, Emma.”

“I graduated top of my class. I’m full of great ideas.”

Leo smirks, looking at Killian briefly before he walks away from them to examine his parents’ cookies. 

“Oh!” Leo says, eyes wide at the surprise awaiting him. He laughs nervously and reaches behind his head to give it a scratch. “Emma, you should take lessons.”

“Ha ha,” Emma says, rolling her eyes. “Go ahead. Pick them. They’re the obvious winners.”

“Well, hold on, Honey,” David insists, holding out a hand to calm Emma. “Leo doesn’t have to choose us. If he doesn’t think we won, we’ll gladly concede defeat.”

The prince is silent for just a moment. “Mom and Dad win.”

Emma shakes her head, sighing softly. “King and Queen always win.”

“No. We’ve just got thirty years experience on you two.” David winks. After pausing thoughtfully, he adds, “Hey, speaking of, let’s talk in my study.”

“David.” Mary Margaret settles a hand on her husband’s arm. “Tomorrow morning. Let’s have a talk tomorrow morning.” She smiles at them. “Get cleaned up and rested. Have some dinner. Eat a cookie or two. We do need to talk, but it can wait. Okay?”

\+ + +

Emma sits curled up on her couch on the secret rooftop with a plate of food, a pile of blankets, and Killian. She sits with her legs in his lap, but he doesn’t care. He’s too focused on the television across from them to care. 

“Princess Emma was spotted with her fiancé sharing breakfast at Granny’s Diner this morning. Afterwards, the two seemed to be all smiles as they strolled down Main Street, stopping to take pictures with villagers and fans alike. This coming shortly after the King and Queen’s announcement. But who is this mystery fiancé? We have our on the ground reporter Sydney Glass with the story.”

Emma groans a little and flips the television off. “They’re going to lie. They always do.”

Killian frowns. “About what?”

“I don’t know.” Emma tells him honestly. “But I do know that you’ll hate yourself if you watch a story about you on TV.” 

She’s speaking from years of experience. It used to be good press. Then, she was caught doing a few things that might have been considered risqué, and suddenly… she was a troublemaker and a flight risk, only made worse by the fact that she left Misthaven without much warning.

She supposes she’s lucky that they didn’t trail her and follow her every move once she was living in America, but she knows her parents probably played a role in that. 

Beside her, Killian fidgets with his phone, sighing. “I need to call Liam. Talk about all this. He’ll be pissed I’m leaving him. Pissed in general, I think.”

Emma knows it can’t be easy, knowing his family and friends back home are probably confused and blowing up his phone with questions he has no real answers to. Too afraid of the reaction, she’s avoided looking at the texts piling up on her own device, and the social media tags and messages.

“Well, he could always move here if he wanted.” Emma tells Killian, “We have plenty of room.”

He blinks. “Move here?”

She laughs. “Yeah. Where else?”

His fingers find her leg, still strewn over his own, and he gives her knee a squeeze. “I don’t know. Bringing him here… that’s probably a step too far, isn’t it?”

“It might be awhile before you can go back to life as normal… whatever that looks like now. If you miss him, and he wants to come, I think he should.”

They sit silently, contemplating their mess, and Emma pulls her legs away from him to give him space. 

“I should go call him.” Killian says suddenly. He pulls himself off of the couch. “I’ll be in your room.”

Emma gives him a small smile. “Okay.”

His absence makes her ache, she realizes, staring up at the stars in the night sky. She fidgets with the fork on her dinner plate for a second before she realizes she isn’t hungry anymore. 

“Hope I’m not bothering.”

Surprised by the company, she lifts her head at the sound of Graham’s voice and can’t help but smile. 

“Hey! Not at all. Come sit.”

Graham does as she requests, sighing as she drapes a blanket over his legs. “There we go. That’s the ticket.”

She laughs. “Sorry. I wanted to sit under the stars tonight and didn’t think it’d be this cold.”

“You’re the princess. You do what you want.”

She hums thoughtfully. It’s almost too true. She’s gotten away with a lot since her arrival home, and she hasn’t had to face the consequences of any of it. 

“What happened to your fiancé?” Graham wonders, looking around with a small twinkle in his eye. 

“He’s calling his brother. It’s overdue.”

Her friend nods in understanding. “Have you talked to your parents about…”

Emma shakes her head. “Tomorrow morning dad wants to have a chat, so I think that’ll be a good time.” She pauses, looking down at her fingers as she plays with a thread of yarn that’s pulled loose from the blanket on her lap. “Regina called me earlier today. She said she had someone in mind to replace me with.”

Nervous, she peers up at Graham. He frowns at her. “That isn’t ideal.”

“No.” Emma sighs. Sitting back, she bites on the inside of her cheek for a second. “Being royal has never been my thing. I think everyone knows that. But I have loyalty to my family and I have to honor my parents by keeping their wishes. Moving to America was never supposed to be a lifetime solution.”

“Do you wish it was?”

Emma pauses thoughtfully. “Sometimes. But… there’s something about Misthaven that’s always going to be home.”

\+ + +

Sitting on Emma’s bed, Killian hesitates for a long time trying to decide the best way to tell his older brother the truth of what’s going on. 

Maybe it isn’t his fear of what to say that’s freezing him, but rather how he knows his brother will react. He’d been so sure that Killian was in love before he left… and now, well… he’s marrying this woman that doesn’t feel the same way just to cover up for the first lie.

Finally ready to face the music, Killian presses the call button and pulls the phone to his ear, pushing to his feet in order to move around. It takes only two rings before Liam picks up. 

“Killian, what the hell is going on? I feel as if I’ve been blindsided and backstabbed and blindsided again.”

Killian sighs heavily. “I know. I’m sorry.”

“She’s a princess? A _princess_? A proper modern day Cinderella. She’s been in my _home_ , Killian. She’s eaten off of my plates and slept on my couch. She’s our _friend_!”

Grimacing at the frustration and anger in his brother’s voice, Killian curls his free hand into a fist at his side. 

“I’m just as surprised as you are. I didn’t know until we arrived to the airport and boarded a private jet. She told me she was very sorry she wasn’t honest… offered me a way out, and I thought it would be alright.”

“Bloody hell, _Killian_.” Liam curses under his breath, a little bit weary at the story. “Now it’s all over the news. I’ve heard from countless of your friends, all demanding _I_ give them answers, and all I keep saying is that the last I knew, you two were just friends. But there’s a photograph on the damned official account.”

His heart clenches tight. “I know.”

“I’ve got a mate from my time in the military who lives in Misthaven, named Graham… he’s under the impression that you’re serious.”

Killian’s tongue feels heavy in his mouth. He doesn’t know if he’s ready to tell this part of the story, but he has to. 

“There’s a lot about this situation that’s out of control. Since the announcement came out, we’ve learned that someone in the council is trying to unseat Emma from her heirship. Unless she stays, she can’t claim it. And it’s made more complicated by the fact that I’m here, her _fiancé_...”

“Little brother… don’t tell me what I think you’re about to. Please don’t say you’ve agreed to marry this woman.”

Killian shakes his head. He bites on his lip. “It’s the only way. She’s going to end up looking like she’s a fraud and like she never really cared about her country if she does anything else.”

“Shit!” Liam swears. Loudly. “What are you thinking? You don’t _marry_ someone because you have no choice. Especially if she’s a princess. There’s _always_ another choice. If Emma feels so threatened, she should just abandon ship. It isn’t worth it if her position is so easily bought.”

Killian is quiet. Everything Liam has had to say so far, the logical part of him has already berated him with in the silent moments of the day. 

“Have you told her that you’re in love with her?” Liam asks, calming only slightly.

“No.” Killian doesn’t even have the energy to fight with his brother over this.

Liam sighs. “Does she have any feelings for you?”

“I’ve no clue. Sometimes I think she might, but… there’s a lot going on. Conflicting emotions. Pretending and then not pretending. An old flame visiting.”

“You’re in a movie. A literal Hallmark movie.”

Killian rubs the back of his neck. “What am I supposed to do? Should I call it off? Come back home?”

“You need to tell her how you feel. If she feels the same, maybe you have a chance. Maybe getting married is the right choice. But if you can’t be honest about this, marrying her is only going to end in a complete disaster. I would think you’d know as much.”

Killian sinks down onto the bed, planting his feet on the floor. He sighs.

“I do. I just don’t know that telling her how I feel… Liam, I don’t even know for certain if I love her.”

Liam scoffs. “Killian. You’re incredibly dense. Come on. Let’s talk this through again, yeah? You went along with her plan to pretend to be engaged. Continued on with it even after learning she’s royalty. And now…”

“Okay. I get it. I’m an idiot. But… we’ve been best friends for five years. I don’t want to lose her if I admit my feelings.”

“If she’s your best friend, it won’t matter.” Liam sounds like he’s rolling his eyes. “And anyway, why would it hurt her to know that she’s marrying someone who is in love with her?”

Killian shakes his head, arguing, “This is the same Emma who’s just coming out of a relationship that may have ended in marriage. I would think she’s not in the right place for that kind of emotional baggage.”

His brother sighs into the phone heavily. Clearly, he’s wearing him out. “Killian, if you don’t tell her, she’s never going to know.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am.” He must be absolutely beaming with pride, hearing the words Killian had to say. It irritates the hell out of Killian. “Before we hang up, I need to tell you… Dad’s been calling about you, too.”

Killian swallows. “Aye. He left me a few messages.”

“Are you going to respond?”

He’s quiet. He truly doesn’t want to speak with their father, but at the same time… it’s a foot in the door that’s previously been shut. 

“I don’t know,” Killian replies, shaking his head. “It’s been a very long time since he’s had anything good to say.”

Liam hums. “Maybe… I dunno. From the way he spoke with me, I think he isn’t trying to get anything. He’s just genuinely interested. It’s been such a long time, though. I can’t blame you if you want to ignore it.”

“Who are you and what have you done with Liam?” Killian asks teasingly. “I thought you hated Dad.”

“I do.” Liam replies quickly. “Maybe it’s my age showing itself. If I ever have children, I imagine learning that one is getting married would be quite the shock. A milestone you really don’t want to be absent for, even if you were before.”

“Aye.” Killian murmurs. He puts his hand over his eyes. “I just think he’s trying to make nice because I’m about to come into quite the position in society… financially as well, I presume.”

His brother chuckles. “Well… maybe. I’m just saying, if you want to, don’t feel like you have to ignore him on my behalf. I know you’ve always had more luck when you’ve chatted with Brennan.”

\+ + +

Killian hears Emma’s laugh well before he steps up onto the rooftop to meet with her again after talking with Liam. There’s a voice that mixes with hers, but he can’t put a finger on whose it is. 

The fact that she’d invite a guest up in his absence makes him a little jealous- this was supposed to be a quiet night for them after all- but he pushes the feeling away. 

Quiet, he stands in the doorway, peering out at the pair sitting on the couch. Emma has a glass of something in her hand and the mystery guest, now revealed to be Graham, makes her giggle so hard that she snorts, an adorable little sound he always teases her for. 

“God, I’m so embarrassing.”

“You’re adorable.” Graham says, all charming and kind. “I missed this.”

And all of a sudden, the jealousy returns, rising up within Killian like an untamed wildfire.

Emma smiles softly back at her male counterpart. If he knew any better, he’d think she was putting on her best seductive look, eyes dark as she bites at her lip chastely. “Yeah. Me too.” 

As Emma leans in close, Graham does the same. Suddenly, Killian finds himself watching as his best friend kisses another man. It is a short kiss, but it almost feels like it takes an eternity for it to end. 

“Hmm.” Emma giggles. “You can’t kiss a princess who’s engaged.”

“We both know you’re not,” Graham murmurs.

Emma looks away from the man, over her shoulder at the dark world beyond. “Yeah...”

Graham tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear and she looks at him once more. They kiss again, this time a little more serious. She climbs into Graham’s lap, wrapping her arms around his neck. 

And this time, Killian finds himself uneasy. He steps backward, shutting his eyes as tightly as he can, but he can’t erase the image that’s been burnt in: Emma kissing another man. 

That man _should_ be him. _He’s_ her fiancé.


	10. One Bad Night

**Chapter Ten** | One Bad Night

Emma Nolan is _technically_ single. It’s okay to kiss someone when you’re _technically_ single.

She’s single, so Killian has no right being jealous.

He has no right being jealous because she’s single. And he has no right being jealous because _he’s_ not actually engaged to her. The ring wrapped around her finger isn’t even his gift to her; it’s a ring she’d found and decided to wear as part of their lie.

Killian sits on the floor of a small dingy bathroom, body drenched in sweat from a long night spent walking into town to drink until he lost balance and his good sense of judgment. 

He’s been through this song and dance far too many times with Emma. He’s watched as she flirted with men, kissed them, touched them, and listened to her describe her feelings for countless boyfriends over the years. But this time, it’s _much_ different.

He’s in a different, unfamiliar country, where people assume he’s important just because of a photograph published on an important social media account where he posed with a very important person. 

His fiancée. His Emma.

_Single_. She’s _single_. 

Hell, he’s single, too. He could go out and kiss someone if he wanted to. But that’s just the thing, isn’t it? The only person he wants to kiss was just kissing another man, and that’s just not appropriate.

Dragging a hand through his hair, Killian groans. He’s far too drunk for any of this emotional turmoil and debate. 

He forces himself to stand and goes to the grimy sink to wash his face, giving himself a look in the mirror. He looks dreadful, like he’s been drinking, and he knows the minute he comes within five feet of Emma she’ll know. There isn’t any way he’s going back to the castle tonight.

All he wants is to go home. To New York and his tiny bedroom with his stacks of books and his job at the bar. Back to sitting in the diner with Emma and eating their favorite foods, talking about absolutely nothing. Back to evening chats with Liam, denying his feelings for Emma, and waiting endlessly for her to notice him.

It was so much easier then.

Someone knocks at the bathroom door and he grumbles below his breath before dragging himself toward it. Once he gets it open, an unfamiliar woman stares back at him. 

“Oh, sorry.” She giggles, rolling her eyes as she gestures to the graphic of a man on the door. “I thought this was the ladies.”

The woman standing in front of him has a pretty blonde bun on top of her head and wears a tight green dress. She’s pretty. And, no engagement ring or wedding ring either.

Smirking, he shrugs. “No worries, love.”

She hesitates for a second, lingering at the open door with her tongue in the crease of her lips. “Have we met?”

Killian hums. He shakes his head slightly. “Not yet. A damn shame, too.”

She laughs softly, dare he even think flirtatiously, as he steps closer to her. “I'm Tink.”

“Pretty name for a pretty lady. How would you like to get out of here, Tink?”

Her lashes flutter. “Well…” 

Tink’s eyes flit to his lips. He takes it as permission, moving just a little bit closer to her while she does the same. She startles him when she gasps, bouncing backward, her eyes blown wide in surprise.

“I know where I know you from!”

And suddenly, he’s practically half-sober from her declaration. _Of course_ she’d know who he is. He didn’t leave the country, and he’s pretty sure his face has been plastered on every screen he’s been able to set his eyes on all night.

“You’re engaged to the princess.”

Killian forces himself to smile, a little embarrassed as he straightens himself out. If word of this _almost_ encounter gets out, he’ll be in deep trouble, won’t he? He has no choice but try and clean it up before she gets the wrong idea about him. 

“Aye. That’s… me. Apologies, for before… I dunno what I was thinking.”

“Oh, no. Nothing happened.” Tink assures him, waving a hand at him. She bounces on her toes giddily. “Is she here? I’d like to meet her.”

Killian opens his mouth in thought. “No. She’s at the castle. And I should be getting back.”

\+ + +

As he walks toward the castle, Killian finds himself plagued with visions of Emma in the throes of passion with Graham up on the rooftop. Sees her hips moving. Sees her head thrown back. Hears her sighs and laughter. 

And even though he doesn’t know if anything happened between the two, he finds himself wishing he could’ve at least been strong enough to stop it. He could have opened the door and interrupted. Could’ve even just cleared his throat and pretended he didn’t see anything, giving her the benefit of the doubt.

He’s such an idiot. Emma’s probably back in her bedroom feeling completely giddy because she’s got a new boyfriend and she isn’t exactly bound and trapped by him anymore. 

His phone, he suddenly realizes, has been vibrating in his jacket pocket for several minutes. He slows to a stop and digs it out. Narrowing his eyes, he sees Emma staring back at him, smiling as if none of this is happening.

On a tired sigh, he lifts it to his ear.

“Where are you?” She snaps instantly. “I’ve been calling and texting all night. It’s almost five in the morning.”

Killian glances around, trying to find a new place to go. Clearly, returning to the castle right now isn’t his move. “Doesn’t matter.”

“I thought something happened,” Emma sighs. He can’t tell if she’s angry or if she’s worried. It’s likely the former. “You weren’t answering your phone… are you in town?”

He doesn’t answer her question. “Are you still with him?”

“What?”

“Did you take him down to your room?” Killian asks, this time a little more forceful. He doesn’t mean to come across as angry, but his emotions get the best of him anyway. “Did he lay in my spot in your bed?”

“Killian, what the hell are you talking about?”

“ _Graham_. I saw you kissing him. I’m not blind.”

Emma goes completely silent. 

He hums. “That’s right, Nolan. I saw you climbing on him, kissing him. And I hope you know that I hope you’re very happy together. The two of you make a _great_ couple. Just... _fantastic_. I hope that when we’re married because that’s what we agreed to do, and you’re sneaking around with him… he just gives you _everything_.”

Killian hangs up the phone and immediately forces it to power down. He doesn’t want her to call him back. 

He throws his head back. It’s more clear to him than ever before that Emma doesn’t feel the same way for him. There isn’t a chance that she could be in love with him. 

Maybe getting _actually_ engaged was a bad idea.

\+ + +

Emma paces around her bedroom, phone in hand, mind racing. 

She hadn’t slept at all, and yet, she would be unable to sleep even if she tried. 

Taking a deep breath, she stops, turning to face the windows overlooking the valley of Misthaven below. The sun has already come up, the sunrise having been a beautiful sight with warm rays pushing up from the curve of the Earth. Well, it would’ve been a beautiful sight if she hadn’t been so anxious the whole time.

He’s going to miss their meeting with her parents, but that isn’t all that she’s panicked about. She’s worried about what Killian saw. Worried that he’s out in town making a fool of himself. Worried that she’s ruined everything by one embarrassing lapse in judgment. 

There is a gentle knock at the door. She turns, staring at it blankly. She doubts that it’s him, but some small, hopeful part of her still gets a little excited that it is.

Pulling the door open, she prepares to explain what Killian had seen her doing on the roof with Graham, but she’s faced with her overly excited mother instead. 

“Mom. Hi.”

“Hi. I… don’t know if you’ve heard anything yet, but…” Pausing, her mother seems worried. 

For a second, Emma’s heart stops beating. Does she know something about Killian? Did something happen to him? Does she somehow know about what happened last night on the roof? 

“There’s a tradition.” Mary Margaret says, wincing just a little. “A silly one. Newly engaged couples visit the stables to pose for a picture.”

Emma’s eyes widen. Though relieved that her mother knows apparently nothing of the prior night’s events, she can’t help but get a little flustered by the fact that all she’s doing in this engagement so far is sitting down for interviews and posing for pictures. 

She’d thought that being an engaged royal might mean banquets and important meetings with leaders… maybe a few long grueling sessions with her mother chatting about do's and don’ts of what it means to be a queen. 

All she can think is that there must be some plan she isn’t aware of just yet. Maybe her parents are easing her back into the swing of things, allowing her to dab her toes into the waters of being princess before throwing her into the deep end.

“Another picture?” Emma asks with a crinkled nose.

“I know. It’s so silly. But the stable master keeps calling and we have to honor him. It’s not going to take long. Just a picture and a carriage ride. Then you can come back home and do whatever you’d like.”

Emma sighs. “Okay. Well, Killian stepped out. How about we go do this talk with dad you wanted to have, and when he’s back we can go?”

“Oh, he isn’t here?” Her mother frowns, clearly worried. She steps up onto her toes to peek around as if Emma’s lying to her and Killian is actually just hiding in the back somewhere.

“Not right now. He’ll be back.”

Her mother seems flustered. Maybe even a little upset. “Oh. Okay. Yes, your father wanted to have a talk. It’s become a little more apparent since your arrival that some members of the council are uneasy about whether or not you’ll actually be interested in the crown.”

Emma nods. “Regina called me.”

Her mother’s eyes grow wide in surprise. “She did?” The queen presses a hand against her arm. “Emma. Oh, no, Sweetie. The whole time you’ve been away, she’s been absolutely awful.”

“I gathered.”

Her mother steps toward her and cups her face between her hands. 

“Tell me the truth. Tell me if you want this to go away. You don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. You can go back home to New York and only visit for holidays. If that’s what you want.”

What her mother has to say does surprise her a little, but she knows it’s just in her nature to be so giving and kind. 

Emma shakes her head. “What about you? You’re not going to be able to hold the crown forever. And Regina isn’t going to wait for Leo.”

“I don’t care.” Mary Margaret says firmly. “I’ll fight for our family. And if that means you’re going to stay in America with your husband and any grandchildren I might have… that’s fine. I want that for you.”

“Mom…” Emma’s shoulders fall, weary. 

“I’ll do what I have to do to make sure Regina won’t get her way. You just have to do what makes you happy. That’s all I want.”

“It doesn’t work like that. She has power and influence. I’m the only thing standing in her way.”

“I-“

Whatever she’s about to say is interrupted by the sound of Killian’s voice coming from just up the hall, “Hey! There she is!”

Emma peers down the hall to find him half jogging toward them with two cups of to-go drink cups from Granny’s in hand. He seems… _exhausted_ , maybe still drunk, and definitely like he just spent twenty minutes in a bathroom somewhere cleaning himself up.

“Your Majesty, it’s nice to see you. Good morning.”

Coming to a stop next to Emma, Killian kisses her cheek and holds out a cup for her to take. With him at her side, she smells the alcohol on him, but she can tell he’s at least sobered himself up enough to get through the morning. 

She can only imagine what her mother is thinking about the whole thing. 

“Cocoa for the Missus.” Killian says, “Granny sends her regards.”

She smiles a little. “Thanks.”

“We were just talking about your plans for the day.” Mary Margaret says. 

Turning to face her mother again, Emma finds that she’s definitely not convinced about the situation laid out before her. At least, that’s what she’s getting from the look in her eyes, cautious and thoughtful. Her mother has a signature _look_ when she’s analyzing, and this is half a step in that direction. 

She doesn’t want to push, nor does she want to involve herself in Emma and Killian’s private disputes, but she must know something is off.

“Oh?” Killian asks. “We have plans?”

“When you’re ready, David and I need to talk with you.”

“Let’s go now.” Killian says before Emma can even consider a response. Clearly, he’s anxious to not ever talk to her again after what happened. The thought of that makes her feel much worse than she had just wondering where he was all night. “Why wait?”

“Okay.” Emma’s mother smiles. “David’s office is this way.”

Emma finds herself lingering behind her mother while Killian walks alongside the queen. She almost wonders if he’ll make it through the rest of the day, or if he’ll suddenly leave for the airport to go home once they have to be in a room together alone.

Once they’re downstairs in her father’s office, her father grins excitedly at them with his arms held outward in welcoming. 

“Good morning! I didn’t think we’d have our chat until later. Guess Mom got a little excited.”

“Yeah,” Emma chuckles. “Morning, Daddy.”

She gives her father a hug and then sits in one of the chairs in the sitting area, bringing the cup to her lips. Granny’s cocoa tastes wonderful, as always, and it’s a welcome treat after the hellish night she’d just had.

Small pleasantries finally exchanged, everyone gathers together, her parents sitting on the couch opposite the chairs she and Killian occupy.

“I’m sure you’re wondering why we’re having a little meeting.”

Emma braces herself with a nervous wince. “Is it about the blessing?”

“Afraid so.” David sighs heavily. 

She can tell this isn’t something he’d wanted to talk about. Having her parents on her side in support over stuff like this would ordinarily be a good thing, but considering she does intend on becoming the queen, she knows that moving in this direction is the best course of action.

“So, Killian, I’m sure you can guess: Emma is the heir to the throne and title, if she wants it, which means… whoever she marries is going to rule alongside her. Now, to protect the sanctity of the title and crown, we have a council that acts as an impartial third party.”

“And they have to give their approval before David and I can step down and allow our heir to succeed us.” Mary Margaret adds. “Usually, the council will approve. There hasn’t been a denial in a long time. But, with circumstances so peculiar, we need to...”

Her mother turns to her father, searching for her next words. 

“We need to find out if this is the path you want to take.” David says, taking a gentle approach to the situation at hand. “It’s an invasive and long process. They’ll do background checks and interviews. You’re going to be very deeply vetted to make sure you’re in good standing.”

“And more than that, that you’re going to be a good leader.” Mary Margaret adds. “But the good news is that you’ve already passed your first tests. David and I are very proud to call you a member of our family. We think you’re going to be a wonderful husband for our Emma and… hopefully, one day, a caring and kind father to your children.”

Emma almost chokes on a sip of cocoa at the mere idea.

“Oh, well, thank you.” Killian replies. She looks at him in time to catch him staring at her. He’s blushing just a bit, probably just as embarrassed by the idea. A kind smile fills his lips. “I truthfully just hope we can have as strong a relationship as you have. My parents were split up, so growing up, I never had any role model for what one should look like. The way you care for one another, and your children, is inspiring.”

Emma’s mother clutches at her heart. “You can’t talk like that this early in the morning!”

Killian chuckles. “Apologies.”

“So, Emma,” David turns to her, “I don’t want to rush your decision, because it’s a big one. But are you thinking about living here in Misthaven again?”

Taking a deep breath, she looks down at the cup in her hands. Everything that happened in the past day flashes in her mind in rapid succession. She honestly doesn’t know where things stand with Killian, but… she desperately doesn’t want Regina to have her way.

Looking at her best friend again, she finds his smile somewhat comforting. 

“I’ve been thinking about it,” Emma nods, finally looking at her father. “I’ve missed it, and I’ve missed you. I love our people. But I don’t know if I want to drag Killian through everything with the council. I mean…”

“We’ve discussed it, and we agreed I would be okay with it.” Killian says, more-so to her. She looks at him again. “If you want to come back to this world, away from New York, I’ll support you. I’ll be glad to jump through every hoop.”

Emma hesitates. “I…”

“My love for you won’t go away if you decide to live this life. I’m in this for the long haul.”

Her heart skips a beat at his words. While she knows he’s probably saying it for sake of her parents, the gist of it is for her. Maybe he isn’t as upset with her as she thought he was.

She smiles at him softly. A little embarrassed, she turns to her parents. “When can we start?”

“How about right now? We have to get you two down to the stables for a photo. It’s tradition.”


	11. Bumpy Carriage Rides Suck

**Chapter Eleven** | Bumpy Carriage Rides Suck

_Tradition_ seems to be a favorite word around the castle. Killian is fairly certain he could sit in a chair in an obscure hallway and be told it is tradition to sit there for an hour at dawn to celebrate _tradition_.

Regardless of what he thinks about it, he finds himself cooperating in a lot of it lately. 

He and Emma are given strict dress code instructions and are sent off to re-dress within thirty minutes’ time, accompanied by a team of stylists that ensure they’re unable to actually have words. It’s perfectly fine by him.

He’s still angry with her, still jealous, still heartbroken in the worst of ways. Maybe being unable to make his feelings clear is a better solution to their problem. Instead, they’re able to focus on what’s important: Emma’s choice to be princess again.

It’s a small step, moving toward the greater goal, and he’s proud of her. Her pride in her country is admirable, and he knows she means it. He’s seen her with her people. Returning home to the city would be infinitely easier, but she _wants_ to be here instead.

It isn’t fair to him that it’s going to require a lifetime commitment and they both know it, but the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that it isn’t the worst thing. He’ll get to live in a beautiful castle, with kind people, and he’ll be with Emma. 

Maybe, one day down the road, he’ll find the words to tell her how he feels. And by then, maybe she’ll feel the same.

“Darling, are you ready to go?” Killian asks, leaning against the doorframe that leads into her bedroom. She’s sitting on a chair, two different shoes in her hands. “I’m told the car is waiting for us.”

Emma sighs. She looks up at her spunky female stylist with pleading eyes. “What were you saying again?”

“The dark boots go with the look, but if you want to make a statement, go with the off-white.”

Grimacing, Emma looks at him. “Am I making a statement today?”

He takes a moment to examine what she’s wearing. A pretty dress hidden beneath a long coat. She has a pair of leather gloves resting on her knee, and her hair is tied back in a long braid.

“It’s up to you. I think you’ll look gorgeous in either.”

“You’re not helping.” Emma says, setting both shoes on the floor. She fidgets for a second with her engagement ring. “Okay. I’ll wear the off-white. A little fashion statement buzz is good, right?”

“Absolutely.” Her stylist agrees. “Especially if you’re sticking around. Bring attention to the shoot, people start thinking about you being here more permanently.”

He smiles softly while he watches Emma step into her boots. She stands, running her fingers over her coat to find the pocket so she can slip her gloves inside.

“Alright. Babe, final review?”

Killian shakes his head slowly. “Eleven out of ten. Would marry you tomorrow looking just like that.”

Her stylist laughs at the compliment. “You are the picture of grace and poise, Your Highness. How about we add a little Misthaven brooch to finish it off?”

“I like that idea.”

While her stylist scurries over to a bag laid out on the bed, Killian takes the opportunity to step further into the room and take Emma by the hand, running his thumb across her knuckles. 

“What about me, love? Do I look presentable?”

Emma hums thoughtfully, tilting her head as she studies him. “Yes. You clean up nice.”

He grins, cocky because she rarely offers compliments on his appearance. He’s been told more than once that they tend to go to his head, but he doesn’t think so. “Thank you.”

There’s a bit of awkward tension between them, but it’s broken by her stylist, who approaches with the brooch of Misthaven’s symbol in hand. Killian steps to the side, but still holds Emma’s hand while she attaches the pin to her lapel.

Her stylist steps back, nodding in approval. “You look great, so now all you have to do is show up and smile.”

“Oh, the old mantra,” Emma sighs. She laughs, looking at a confused Killian. “Years ago, my mom made a sign and hung it on my door. Apparently, I was bad at smiling during public outings. People thought I was mad at them all the time."

Killian chuckles. “That’s the Emma I know. Stubborn until the bitter end.”

His fiancée rolls her eyes and squeezes his hand. “C’mon. We should get going. Mom and Dad are probably waiting in the car.”

Together, along with one of the castle publicity staff, he and Emma make their way outside. Hands still entangled, Killian finds himself getting a little nervous. This is one of what he presumes must be many outings to come.

“All I need from you two today are big smiles and waves to the cameras. We’ll get you posed after your arrival right away, and after that, you’re going to ride in the famous Misthaven carriage for about half a mile. Our goal today is to get as much content as possible out there. We want to tease, but not feed. So no need to answer any questions or say anything to the press.”

“Right.” Emma nods. She seems much more prepared for this than he feels. “What about Killian? Should he know anything?”

“Um…” the woman with wild red curls pivots on her heel to look at him, narrowing her eyes. “Yes. We’re going to have a meeting after this to talk about how we can shape your image, but for now, all I want from you is to be yourself as much as you can be. Show people you’re in love, but don’t overdo it. This is an easy outing. Very low stakes.” 

“Alright.”

“You’re going to be great. I honestly don’t think it’ll be hard to reintegrate you, Emma. You were trending worldwide when we released the announcement, so people already love you. I think Misthaven is just thrilled to have you home.”

“We’re thrilled to be home,” Emma says on their behalf. She gives their publicist a warm, kind smile, and reaches out to squeeze her arm. “Thank you, by the way, for everything you’re doing.”

“Of course. I live for this.” They slow to a stop, now standing in front of the car. “Okay. Smiles. Pictures. Lots of nice words to the stable master. Yes? Good. Now go have fun. I’ll be here when you get back.”

“Thank you.” he and Emma both chorus.

He helps Emma into the car, where both of her parents sit in wait. 

“You both look great!” Mary Margaret says immediately. “And you were briefed on everything already?”

“Yes. Merida did a great job.” Emma replies. “Having a publicist is kind of crazy though.”

“Oh, but she’s helping so much. We hired her a few years ago. I think she’s been antsy to get her hands dirty with some tough work. This is right up her alley.”

The stables aren’t too far from the castle, and once they arrive, Emma’s parents step out first. 

“You ready?” Emma asks as she prepares to get out.

He shrugs. “I guess I have to be.”

Killian helps Emma out of the car and immediately, he understands why everyone kept insisting that they should smile and wave. There’s a surprising amount of press gathered just beyond the car.

“Hold my hand.” Emma tells him under her breath. 

He does as she asks, and focuses on smiling, waving, and making his way toward the stables even as he hears their names being shouted ad nauseam.

The stable master meets them at the door to the stable, a big grin on his face. “Welcome!”

“Hi!” Emma greets on a laugh. “It’s been so long since I’ve been here. Are you still offering horseback riding lessons?”

“Yes, Ma’am. Every other day we have classes. We’re very proud of our horses.”

Emma hums. She gestures to him. “This is my fiancé, Killian. We might have to sign him up for beginner classes. He hasn’t ever ridden.”

“No?” the man asks, eyebrows lifted high. “Well, we can do that.”

“That sounds great.” Killian says, trying to keep the stable master happy.

Emma turns when her mother says her name. 

“Where should we have our photographer set up?” Mary Margaret asks. 

“Here’s fine.” The stable master says. “Usually, we have just the one shot in front.”

“That’s right. I remember.”

“And then we’ll get you on a carriage ride around the property. This tradition goes back to the founding of our country. We were famous for our horses. Still are.”

Emma hums. “Yes. And they’re so beautiful.”

“Would you like to see the one named after you?”

“There’s one named after me?” the princess asks, surprised.

“Of course! Come here. Let’s get you introduced.” 

\+ + +

They take a photo with the stable master in front of the stables. Killian has his arm wrapped around her waist and she’s sure she smiles almost too wide, but her mother gives them the go-ahead after a few snaps of the camera.

Killian helps her into the horse-drawn enclosed carriage and once the door is closed, she feels the weight between them tighten. It’s amazing that they’ve gone so long without having a genuine conversation. Everything so far has been incredibly, irritatingly fake, and it’s starting to wear on her.

She coaches him briefly on waving to the cameras as they start their journey. He’s picked up on everything so far very easily and naturally.

Knowing the driver sits just beyond the carriage wall, Emma chooses to keep her voice low when she finally does speak. 

“We have to keep smiling while we talk, because there are cameras literally everywhere,” Emma explains, “they’ll follow us the whole trip.”

Killian nods in understanding. 

“But we should be natural until we get back. People like seeing natural.”

“Right.”

Silence again. She swallows the lump forming in her throat.

“What happened last night?”

Killian clears his throat. “You were kissing someone and I… went to town to drink.”

She stares at him, feeling guilt wash over her. “Killian…”

“It’s okay. You’re single. Graham… I think he must be too.” Killian’s voice is a whisper. “So it’s okay.”

She meets his eyes. “Then why did you hide in town all night?”

Killian is quiet. Then, “It doesn’t matter. Let’s just… move on.”

The carriage bumps and shakes as it travels the dirt road. She has to brace herself a little extra, grabbing for the handle on the door to steady herself. 

“Bumpy carriage rides suck.”

“Aye. I’m not a fan.”

Emma isn’t sure if they’re going to be okay. She isn’t even sure they’re going to be friends anymore. Can you still be friends in a situation like this?

Her phone vibrates. A message from her mother: _Merida thinks you should kiss when you’re back in view. In the carriage. Keep it sweet._

Emma briefly closes her eyes. She feels her heart throbbing against her chest. “Um… Merida wants a kiss.”

Killian lifts his eyebrows. “I knew I was handsome in this outfit, but I didn’t think…”

She shoves him slightly. “When the carriage comes closer to the cameras. Just a small kiss.”

Sighing, Killian nods. “Very well.”

She feels herself getting anxious as they continue to ride the bumpy path toward the stables. The cameras come into view in no time at all, something that makes her even more nervous. She feels Killian’s hand on her knee, giving her a squeeze once they’re in enough view.

“Alright, Nolan. One small kiss.”

Emma turns, smiling a little, and looks at his lips just briefly before she leans in, her eyes falling shut for the gentle touch of their lips. It’s silly, to feel anything at all for a kiss so small, but when she pulls back, she already knows she’s blushing hard. Her heart is racing in her ears and she feels her fingers trembling, something so ridiculous that she curses herself for it.

All she can feel is butterflies.

“Okay?” he asks, admiring her with his fingers still on her face.

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

He surprises her with another small kiss, this time making her laugh when he pulls away because of a bump in the road. He laughs with her, a small nervous chuckle. 

“That was two kisses.”

Killian shrugs a shoulder. “I wanted to make sure they got what they came for.”


	12. Christmas Ball

**Chapter Twelve** | Christmas Ball 

On the morning before Christmas Eve, Emma wakes to the feeling of Killian’s body wrapped around hers. For a brief moment, she closes her eyes, the memory of the day before washing over her in a flash. 

They’d kissed. _Twice_. 

Afterwards, they’d been in meetings and coaching sessions. They’d monitored the progress of their first official public outing with Merida, and after it had been deemed a success, they were sent off to have downtime with her family over dinner and Christmas movies in the castle theater room.

They hadn’t had any time to talk, not even when they returned to bed. Killian had collapsed, exhausted from the pair of days spent awake, and was asleep before he could even change clothes.

Emma had pulled his boots and jeans off for him and tucked him beneath the covers, sighing as she joined him minutes later.

And now, she’s watching the sun come up while he’s got his arm wrapped around her middle and one leg between hers, his breaths still even against her neck.

Her heart aches. She isn’t sure why. She just knows that things are bad right now. Things between them had started off so well just a few days ago… and now… she doesn’t even know if he’s her best friend anymore.

Emma’s phone vibrates a few times on the nightstand. She knows it’s beyond time to wake up, but instead, she twists around, turning to face Killian’s snoozing form. He’s adorable when he’s sleeping, his hair slept in and his eyes softly shut. He’s bare like this, unassuming, trusting. She doesn’t imagine he has much trust for her in his heart anymore.

He stirs a little at her movement, and she watches as his eyes slowly slide open. He’s still holding onto her, his hand now warm on her hip while he takes a deep breath of the morning.

“Morning.”

Emma’s belly flips when he stretches his body out, removing his hand and leg from their spot entangled in her. She watches him put his hand over his eyes, flopping onto his back.

“Did I come up here on my own or did you wheel me in?”

She laughs under her breath. “You walked.”

He hums. Drops his hand to his belly, focused on a spot on the ceiling. “What are we doing today?”

“There’s a Christmas ball tonight.” Emma replies, tentative and nervous. 

“I thought that was tomorrow.”

She sighs, thoughtful. “ _Technically_ , it’s a Christmas Eve ball because it ends at midnight. There’s a fancy dinner and dancing and a lot of mingling. And, it’s a uniquely Mary Margaret tradition.”

After a second or two of silence, Killian looks at her again. “I had a dream.”

“You did? What about?”

He smiles sleepily, reaching out for her hip again. “It was Christmas… but it was a few years from now.”

Back home in New York, one of her very favorite things is sitting with him over breakfast and listening to him share his nightly dream with her, if he can remember it. The moment brings her back there, to a barstool in his kitchen while he shuffles around barefoot with a mug of coffee in his hand.

“What were you doing?” She asks, whispering with a genuine curiosity.

He smirks wryly. When he speaks, his voice comes out in a groggy, scratchy drawl, “I don’t know if I should tell you.”

She lifts an eyebrow. “Okay. Unfair.”

Killian chuckles, deep and low. He surprises her when he presses his fingers over her belly, tracing a circle to her clothed flesh, and pulls his digits away again, instead holding them against his chest.

“We… you were pregnant.” He swallows and meets her gaze. “The baby kept kicking. I don’t know. Must have something to do with what your mum was saying yesterday… about me being a father.”

Chills run up and down her spine. Her stomach tosses almost violently. 

The idea that he’d have _that_ kind of dream in the environment surrounding them makes her skin feel flushed. She turns away from him, reaching for her phone, needing a distraction. Focusing on putting one foot in front of the other is what’s important right now. 

“Mom called.” Emma sighs. She pulls herself up, pressing the call button as she steps out of bed.

“Emma! Sorry I’ve been blowing up your phone all morning… I hope you slept well.”

Emma hums. “What’s up?”

“I’m hoping I can get your help… I seem to have forgotten one key aspect of the ball tonight: decorating the ballroom.”

She steps into her closet and laughs. Her mother most definitely did _not_ forget the decorating. She absolutely planned to have “forgotten” so that the family could spend the day together doing something creative and team building. 

“Um… okay. Yeah. I can come help with that.”

“Thank you, my love.” Mary Margaret sing-songs. “I’m down here now with Leo and your father. Come when you can. Absolutely no rush.”

“I will be there in a few minutes.”

“Bring Killian too. Of course.”

Emma grabs a top from a hanger and examines it. “Okay. See you soon.” She hangs up, immediately going to the door to tell her fiancé the news. “We’re going to help mom with some prep for the party.”

Killian sits up, dragging his hand through his hair. “I shouldn’t have told you about my dream… I’m sorry.”

She shakes her head, brow pinching together. “I’ve had weird dreams like that too. You’re right. It was probably just because of what Mom said.”

He sighs, nodding. “Aye.”

There’s a beat of awkwardness. 

Emma clears her throat. “What happened with Graham was a mistake. I… guess I lost my cool. After we kissed, I asked him to leave, and I haven’t heard from him since.”

Killian looks up at her, seeming surprised. 

“I shouldn’t have kissed him.” Emma says, doubling down. She closes her eyes briefly in shame. “I’ve felt bad about it ever since it happened. I mean… _we’re_ getting _married_. That means something, even if we aren’t in love.”

He stands, shaking his head. “Emma…”

She takes a deep breath. “I don’t like how weird it’s been between us.”

“I don’t either.”

Emma feels herself getting tearful, but forces a smile anyway. “I’m sorry I dragged you into this. It’s been just one mess after another. You probably think I’m such a liar and a fake. Just like everyone else will once the truth finally comes out.”

Killian steps toward her. “No, Emma. I don’t.” 

They stare at each other, silent. 

Even though his words have been nothing but kind and supportive, and she can tell the fact that she’s apologized means something to him, the room feels absolutely drenched in a weirdness she cannot explain.

“I miss you. And you’re _right here_.” Emma whispers, lifting a shoulder. “I just… wish things could be the way they were back home. Before any of this happened. Before all of this crazy life I used to live came back to wreck everything. I don’t belong here. I don’t even know that I want to be here. I just… feel like I need to be. I know that doesn’t make sense.”

Her best friend comes toward her, and almost as if drawn together, he pulls her into his arms, hers holding onto him as tight as she can.

“If you want to go back, if that’s what your gut is telling you, don’t feel like you have to stay here. But if you feel it telling you to stay, _stay_. Don’t listen to the devils in your head. Trust what’s in your heart.”

Emma’s eyes squeeze shut. She digs deep to sense the feeling in her belly, the one that’s telling her that something is weird between her and Killian. “I want to stay.”

Killian kisses the side of her head. “Then we stay.” He grabs her arms, pulling back, and smiles a little at her. “Hey. I’m proud of you. No matter what hat you’re wearing, or where you are. You’re always _Emma_.”

\+ + +

If you asked him to describe how attracted he is to Emma Nolan in her Christmas ball dress, he would only have answers that would require deep censoring. 

She’s entirely innocent to the thoughts running through his mind, rushing around the bedroom looking for a pair of earrings to match the gown she’s chosen for the night. The way she mutters to herself in thought is particularly attractive too, in the oddest way. There’s something about Emma while she’s working on something with such concentration that he adores.

“I know. I know. I’m sorry!” Emma apologizes, finally stopping in front of a mirror to put the earrings in. “You keep glaring at me because we’re late.”

Killian shifts uncomfortably and clears his throat. “It’s fine. You look incredible, Emma.”

She stops for a moment to study the look in the mirror. Then, she turns to him. “Thanks. Ready to go?”

He nods, smiling softly. He takes her hand and places it over his arm, gesturing toward the door. “Let’s go, Your Highness.”

Gods above, he needs to tell her how he feels. To continue doing this without her knowing that he’s in love with her… he’ll need some intense therapy.

“Remind me, love. Who’s going to be here tonight?”

Emma thinks about it. “I know Mom said a lot of the same people who were at the engagement brunch should be there. So you’ll know some people. And every year, she invites some families from the community to celebrate them.”

“Anything else I should know?”

She smiles up at him. “Just charm everyone you can. And if you get tired of that, dance with me.”

Killian grins at the idea. “How about we just dance the whole night? No charm necessary.”

Emma laughs. “Unfortunately, we need to balance out our time. That’s basically the whole job. Do a little bit of everything, and mostly do the stuff you really don’t want to.”

He sighs wistfully. “But it’s Christmas.”

The princess lifts a single shoulder in a shrug. “I don’t make the rules.”

They step closer to the party, music swelling in their ears. He hears voices, laughter, and smells a meal. He focuses on Emma again, at how drop dead gorgeous she is, and stops her from continuing by slowing to a stop in the middle of the hall. He meets her confused look with a smile. 

“You look _so_ pretty tonight, Emma. I need you to know that.”

She blushes, her eyes falling away from him to look down at her dress. “I literally had to borrow this dress from someone, but thank you.”

In an instant he isn’t proud of, he suddenly desperately wishes he could kiss her. To show her that he loves her. Hell, he’d even settle with saying the words aloud. But she isn’t ready. He isn’t either.

As if wanting to give him some equal attention, Emma fidgets with his bow tie, her fingers sliding down his chest briefly before they fall to her side and he takes her hand. 

Her eyes sparkle when she speaks, “You know… you look pretty good too.”

“Emma!” Elsa’s voice interrupts any further discussion, coming from just ahead at the staircase that leads down into the ballroom. “You look _amazing_!”

Emma laughs. “Thank you! I love your dress.”

\+ + +

The party is in full swing when Emma meets Graham’s eyes from across the room. Part of her feels guilty that she even smiles at him, but she can’t help herself, her smile pulling across her face from ear-to-ear. 

She’s standing alone, Killian having had just stepped away to talk to Leo and a couple of friends, so when Graham approaches, she almost feels cornered. But she keeps her calm, because the last time they’d interacted, while it hadn’t exactly been a great time, had ended cordially.

“Your Highness. You look… _wow_.”

She laughs, shaking her head. “Thanks. My fiancé had a similar reaction.”

Graham lifts an eyebrow. “Of course he did. Look at you.”

Emma blushes a little, feeling her stomach begin to flip anxiously. She quickly changes topics, “Are you enjoying the party?”

He winks at her. “I would if I could get a dance.”

She hesitates, biting at her lip. She really shouldn’t. She could just decline and go find Killian. There’s no need for her to start dancing with every single person who asks her to, especially since she’d just danced with a married councilman with a funny mustache. 

But she still nods at Graham, despite her better judgment.

“Okay. Yeah. Why not?”

Graham beams at her as he walks her onto the dance floor. Soon, she’s in his arms, looking into his eyes, and forgetting why this was a bad idea.

“I see you haven’t forgotten how to dance while you’ve been away.”

Emma laughs under her breath. “I took so many lessons growing up that it would be impossible. The queen promised for years that it would come in handy. Guess she was right.”

Graham hums. He shifts her a little closer to him, his grasp on her lower back tightening. “Do you want to meet me up on the roof later tonight?”

She finds herself looking away from Graham, searching for Killian across the room. He’s looking back at her, jaw clenched. 

Now, she’s starting to feel skittish, a little antsy. It’s not appropriate for her to have this kind of conversation… especially after making what she felt was good progress with Killian just a little while ago.

“I don’t think I should. Thank you, though. I…” She pauses, looking into Graham’s eyes. “Killian’s my best friend.”

Graham lowers his voice, “But he’s not your fiancé. You’re not in love.”

Emma’s belly swoops at the insinuation. She smiles softly and stops, politely bowing her head. “Thank you for the dance, but I need to go.”

She steps away from him, smiling and waving as she passes guests who seek her attention.

“Emma. Emma, I’m sorry.” Graham apologizes, reaching out and touching her arm. She turns to him. “I shouldn’t have said-“

She feels a hand on the small of her back and a warm presence at her side. _Killian_. 

“Hey, mate. Can I help you with something?”

Graham shakes his head. “No. Not at all. I was just telling the princess that I’m glad she has you. Whatever that means.”

She feels Killian stiffen at the mean spirited compliment. 

“Graham.” Emma says, warning him. 

“You can’t keep a lie like this going forever.” Graham tells them, keeping his voice low as the only saving grace of this conversation. “After you get married, you’ll have to produce an heir. What are you planning on doing then?”

Emma goes still. She grits her teeth and shakes her head. Looking beyond Graham, she gestures to castle security. “I don’t think you want to cause a scene.”

“How very _Emma_ of you.”

Killian steps forward, clearly angry at the mere presence of the man, much less what he has to say. 

“Watch your mouth before I beat it off of your face.”

“Wow.” Graham says, scoffing. “Forget having an heir… you have a lot to deal with here as it is.”

Emma grabs Killian’s arm when he begins to lunge forward and holds onto him tightly, pulling him away from Graham just in time for security to meet them. 

“Take him away.” She says to the guards. “No entry into the castle again unless I give express permission.”

“Yes ma’am.”

Turning to Killian, she finds him calming down, still glaring after Graham as he’s escorted out of the party willingly. They’ve drawn some attention from the guests, understandably, but once Graham has moved away from the crowd, everyone seems to return to their business.

“Are you okay?” Emma asks. 

Killian nods. “Aye. But if he tries anything again… I don’t think I’ll be able to help myself.”

Emma takes Killian by the hand and walks with him toward their table in the corner of the room. As they walk, Emma listens to the music, trying to decide if it would be best to sit or dance. 

“Do you feel up to dancing with me?”

Killian stares at her for a second. “Dancing with you? I am _always_ up for that, Nolan. I thought you knew.”

She chuckles softly. “Come on. Let’s see how long we can go before Mom pulls us apart.”

He immediately falls into form with her, his fingers gentle and kind where he touches her. She loves the way he stares back at her and the way his lips are curled in a lopsided grin. 

He twirls her and dips her. They sway for what feels like hours. They laugh and share soft murmurs, gossip about what they’re seeing around them. And she finds that the feeling she’s been missing is here: she found him again. 

And it’s different, the way that she feels, but it’s also right.


	13. Mistletoe Kisses Aren’t a Big Deal

**Chapter Thirteen** | Mistletoe Kisses Aren’t a Big Deal

When it’s time for the Christmas ball to end, after what had felt like _hours_ spent swaying and laughing with the princess in his arms, Killian holds Emma’s hand and walks with her toward the steps leading up to the residences. 

But there’s something new hanging from a string just above the steps: a _mistletoe_. 

He can’t be sure, but he thinks he catches Leo smirking for just a moment before the sly look fades and instead, he shouts, “Mistletoe means you gotta kiss!” 

There are giggles and gasps from the crowd that’s formed of the remaining partygoers. 

Turning to them, Killian gets the distinct feeling that this was done on purpose. Clearly, someone, somewhere, whose name is Prince Leopold, wants them to share a kiss in front of this excited crowd of Misthaven citizens.

Mistletoe kisses aren’t a big deal, right? This won’t cause another rift between them… will it?

“Kiss!” They begin to cheer, a chant that swells so loudly that he’s sure the rest of the country will hear. 

Laughing a little, he turns to his fiancée. She sighs a bit, pressing up onto her toes as his hand fits on the small of her back. They kiss, but it’s barely a kiss. It can’t even compete with their carriage ride peck for the cameras. 

The crowd boos, picking up the chant again. “Kiss! A real one!”

Emma gives Killian a nervous little smile and he becomes determined to give the crowd what they’re looking for, so he wraps his arms around her, sweeping her completely off of her feet, while her hands press firm to his chest and their lips meet. 

The crowd loves it. Cheers erupt. Whistles echo around the atrium. 

His heart begins to pound in earnest as the kiss deepens. Emma’s fingers find his hair as he lowers her feet to the ground, and suddenly, all he wants is to keep kissing her. 

But he pulls away, breathless, and as he stares back at Emma, he finds that she looks up at him with something gentle and realized in her eyes. It fades fast, both of them turning to the crowd to wave goodnight.

They climb the stairs in silence and walk the halls deep, deep in thought. Killian finds himself touching his lips. Kissing Emma like that really makes things complicated.

Their knuckles brush on accident as their hands sway at their sides and he looks at her. 

She blushes, shaking her head. “Sorry.”

“Emma, we just kissed.”

She slows to a stop and faces him. “I know.”

“It’s going to happen a lot more,” he tells her quietly, “at least, it will if we get married.”

She nods. Silently, she moves closer to him, a little wry look in her eyes. “Kissing you isn’t all bad.”

His heart begins to pound faster and he can’t help but smirk. “No?”

Emma shakes her head. Her fingers are on his chest, sliding toward his neck, and he feels himself captured in her orbit, desperate for whatever she has to say. God help him, he’d like to kiss her again.

“I like kissing you.” Killian admits in a whisper. _I like you._

She smiles, timid, and laughs under her breath, pushing up on her toes so she can pull his forehead to hers. He settles his hands over her hips and smiles to himself.

Maybe this means something. Maybe this is falling in love. 

Right then and there, Emma brushes her lips against his, and he swears his entire world flips on its head. This is the first time they’ve kissed without an audience and it is _heavenly_. 

Sighing with pure contentment, he reaches for her face, cupping it in his palm, and she presses him back against a nearby wall. 

“Emma?” a familiar voice prompts Emma away from him, her fingers on her lips as she steps back.

She seems as disoriented as he feels, trying to straighten himself out while Elsa approaches them in the hall. 

“Hey, Elsa,” Emma smiles politely. “Killian and I were headed back for the night. What’s up?”

Elsa looks between them, as if she can sense something off, but keeps it to herself. “I… wanted to let you know that I’m going home tomorrow morning. I wondered if we could maybe chat for a bit before I go.”

Emma’s eyes widen. “Of course. Let’s go to the roof. It’s quieter there.” She turns to Killian and smiles nervously, with a sense of wordlessness that can only come from what just happened. “We’ll talk later, okay?”

He nods, smiling. She wants to talk about it: their kisses. It’s a good sign, right?

“Night, Elsa.” Killian waves to Emma’s friend.

Elsa gives him a polite grin. “Good night, Killian. Thank you for lending me Emma. I hope we’ll get to meet again soon.”

“I have a feeling we will.”

\+ + +

Emma sits with Elsa on the rooftop couch, cocoas in hand, while they exchange stories and laughs. For a long time, Elsa was one of the only people who understood Emma. They are both the eldest siblings, both royals in their own rights.

There’s something special about spending time in the company of someone so like minded, someone she trusts deeply, someone that isn’t aware of her secrets, but would undoubtedly keep them if she shared.

“So… you and Killian. I want some details.” Elsa says, reaching for Emma’s arm. Her eagerness to learn more is contagious, her eyes bright with wonder and curiosity. “How are things going? Has he always known about Misthaven and all of this? I got the distinct feeling that he was a little shell shocked on that first day.”

Hesitating, Emma feels guilt tickling her belly. Right about now, all she wants is someone who can coach her through what the hell is going on with Killian. They just _kissed_ for real, and she’s feeling things for him that she isn’t sure she should.

If anyone would be good to talk to about this, it would be Elsa. The woman had been with her through every relationship, ready to be an ear to talk off, to laugh with her in the good moments, and to cry with her in the bad ones.

Emma closes her eyes briefly as she sighs. “Els, I need to tell you something.”

Elsa frowns, worry in her expression. “Oh, no. What is it? Are you two okay?”

“Elsa, we aren’t actually together.”

Her friend’s eyes widen in shock. “You’re _not_?”

Emma shakes her head. “We’re best friends, and we’ve known each other for five years, but we’re not _together_ and we never dated.” 

With the truth finally out in the open with someone she trusts deeply, Emma allows herself to breathe a little, the emotions she’s been bottling up finally able to spew to the surface.

“I feel absolutely awful, Els.” Emma admits, shaking her head slowly. “It feels like my whole life is completely turning into a lie. And to make matters worse, I think I’m _actually_ falling in love with Killian.”

Elsa’s eyes grow wider. “Oh.” 

Her friend puts her cup down on the table in front of them and grabs Emma’s to do the same. Then, she wraps her arms around Emma, giving her a warm hug.

“Regina told me she’s going to take the throne if I finally officially abdicate,” Emma adds, “so I have to stay. I _have_ _to_. And Killian wants to marry me just so the people don’t turn on me when I take the crown.”

Elsa squeezes her tighter. “Ohh… Emma…” 

Pulling away, she has a deeply worried knit in her brow. She holds Emma’s shoulders beneath her hands. 

“There’s more. I can tell. What is it?”

“Graham came to visit,” Emma sighs, her eyes watery, “I told him the truth, that Killian and I aren’t together. That we’re kind of engaged, but not really?”

“Tell me you didn’t…”

Feeling somehow worse than before, Emma nods. “We were drinking and we kissed. And Killian saw.” She groans, burying her face in her hands. “I don’t know why I did. I just… felt comfortable for the first time in a while. It almost felt like I was the old me again.”

Elsa sighs. “Kissing Graham has never been good for you. Even when he was the healthiest relationship you could be in.”

“I know…” Emma mutters into her hands. She pulls them away from her face, shoulders falling. “But that isn’t even the worst part. Tonight, I kissed Killian for the first time ever, it was just the two of us alone, and… I’m kind of freaking out.”

Eyes wide, Elsa considers everything for a moment, then takes a deep, steadying breath. “You need to tell Killian how you feel.”

“That’s the thing, though, Elsa. I don’t think he feels the same for me.” Emma shakes her head. “He’s only ever looked at me like a friend. He came here because I begged him. I knew he wouldn’t say no.”

Elsa gives her a weary look. “Emma. The man wants to marry you in order to help you save face. I would think that would be an eyesore of a clue that he loves you.”

Emma groans again. “If you knew him, you’d know that’s just who he is, though. I mean… we’ve been best friends for _five_ years. We know each other so well. I feel like I’d know if he was in love with me. I’ve seen him in love before.”

Her friend hums thoughtfully. “Maybe it hasn’t been love before. Maybe it’s just been... infatuation or lust.”

“Maybe.” Emma sighs. She fidgets with the engagement ring on her finger in silence. The more she thinks about Killian’s relationships, the greater the doubt sitting heavy in her chest feels.

“Emma, do you _want_ Killian to be in love with you?”

Emma blinks at Elsa. Her mouth falls open. “I… haven’t… I mean, I just…” She stops herself. “I don’t even know if _I_ want to be in love with him.”

Elsa gives her a dry look. “Emma.”

“ _What_?”

“Why not?”

Emma balks, shaking her head and lifting her shoulders. “I don’t know!”

Elsa straightens out her posture and takes Emma’s hand, forcing Emma to look at her. “Emma, five years is a long time. If he was going to leave, he’d have gone by now. Are you afraid because _you_ don’t want to hurt _him_ because he’s too special to you?”

A lump forms in Emma’s throat. She feels a hot tear fall down her cheek. She nods. “You know my secrets, Elsa. I’m not good enough for him. I don’t want him to learn that the hard way.”

Her friend’s shoulders fall wearily. “You seem pretty perfect for him from what I’ve seen.”

Emma shakes her head in complete disbelief. “You don’t know us.”

Elsa hums. “Fine. I don’t. But I saw you tonight. Dancing. Laughing together. _Kissing_ beneath the mistletoe.” She gives Emma a small smile. “If you love him the way you showed us tonight, you don’t have anything to be afraid of.”

\+ + +

When Emma returns to her bedroom, it is well past any normal bedtime hour. She finds the apartment dark, with the exception of a small lamp in her living room left on so she can see where she’s going. 

In her bed, Killian’s sound asleep, his back to her. He’s snoring just a little.

It’s good, she thinks, that he’s asleep, because she isn’t really ready to talk about what had happened between them, as much as she’d thought she was in the moment. _Kissing_ has never felt so right, but at the same time, so incredibly scary. 

It’s real now. Before, she could pretend it was just best friends making incredibly dumb decisions just to save face, but now… they’ve _kissed_.

Emma gets ready for bed in her closet and steps into the bathroom, where she discovers a note waiting for her written on a sticky note taped on the mirror. 

_Council meeting tomorrow AM. Meet for breakfast at 8. -Mom xoxo_

Sighing, Emma grabs her toothbrush to brush her teeth. Council. Tomorrow. Christmas Eve with the council is the last place she wants to be.

Once she finishes in the bathroom, she turns the lamp off in the living room and crawls into bed, careful to not wake her companion. He stirs slightly when she pulls on the sheets, but doesn’t wake up.

Lying on her side away from him, Emma closes her eyes. She thinks about what Elsa had said, that it makes sense that Killian would likely feel the same way she does deep down.

Is she ready to love him? Does she already? Is it too late?

She feels Killian turn over in his sleep. His arm seems drawn to her middle, sparking butterflies within her at the warm and intimate embrace. 

He sighs deeply and he slurs tiredly, “You’re back.”

Emma smiles a little. “Yeah.”

Killian hums. He snuggles closer to her, sleep claiming him again before he can say anything else. She squeezes her eyes closed tighter. 

She feels as if she’s hanging on by a thread by wishing it, but a mantra plays over in her mind: _don’t fall in love. Just don’t fall in love._

Emma’s eyes open again. She presses herself onto her back so she can turn and look at Killian in the dark. Her fingers find his fringe, gently brushing it back, and she sighs.

It’s too late, isn’t it? She _does_ love him, in the warmest, sweetest way.


	14. Losing Battles

**Chapter Fourteen** | Losing Battles

**A Few Nights Ago**

Graham is warm. His smile is warm, charming even, and with little creases by his eyes, she feels like a teenager again when she forgets the world surrounding them to enjoy being reunited again.

He refills their drinks and she bites on her lip a little, feeling nervous because she _really_ shouldn’t be enjoying this so much. She’d committed to marrying Killian just a few hours ago. 

But sitting here, with Graham, brings her back a few years. Before faking an engagement, before moving away for school… there was Graham. There were others, of course, but Graham was the only one who had been cordial even after they broke up.

She leans her cheek against her couch and watches him as he sits back with her, fingers a little clumsy as he passes her glass back to her.

“Do you remember Neal?” Emma asks.

Graham gives her an annoyed look, joining her with his cheek pressed to the cushions of the couch. “Of course I do. That asshole was always on my case for hanging around you.”

“We were on and off a dozen times,” Emma remembers on a sigh. “And you were there for me every time it ended.”

Graham blushes, averting his gaze down to his glass. “I… yeah. I was. Wasn’t very secretive about how I felt back then, was I?"

Emma laughs softly. She sips her drink, enjoying the way it burns when it goes down her throat. She reaches out for the curls on top of his head and plays with a strand lazily.

Graham stares back at her with that warmness again and he murmurs, “Tell me the truth, Emma. Are you and Killian really engaged?”

Her heart skips a beat. _Killian_. “Yes.”

“Do you love him?” Graham asks without a beat.

“Of course I do.” Emma sips her drink again and sits upright, looking away from her companion. “I’m marrying him, aren’t I?”

He puts his glass down on the table in front of them and clasps his hands together over his knees. “You can be honest, Emma.”

On a heavy sigh, Emma considers Graham’s question again. _Do you love him?_

While she wants to say yes, to continue to hide behind her own walls of lies and deception, her stomach aches more and more with every minute she spends dancing around this question of _love_. Fake engagement is one thing, but real engagement is a whole different agreement.

She’s going to be marrying Killian. Her best friend, the one she for so long has only felt was _just_ her best friend. And _why_? Because she dug and she dug and she wouldn’t keep digging. The whole thing is her fault.

_Do you love him?_ Graham’s question rattles around in her head, bouncing over every memory, clenching hard in her ribcage, and she feels her fingers trembling even at the idea that the answer might be yes.

Turning to look at Graham again, she finally answers, “No. I don’t think so. How could I? We have been best friends since we met...”

Graham nods in understanding. “You’re doing that thing.” He smirks a little. “The thing where you second guess and triple guess and on and on until you’re blue in the face.”

“I do not do that!”

“You do. And I’m always here to tell you that you need to just go with your gut. It always has the answer.”

She gawks at him until she can’t help but laugh right along with him. “Neal was totally different. We had history. We had… firsts together and we were dumb kids when we were in love.”

Graham hums, skeptical. He downs the rest of his drink. “That’s totally different. Sure. If I remember correctly, you two were friends a long time before you were together.”

“Yeah. I guess.” She finds herself staring into his eyes. “Maybe I’m afraid I’ll make those same mistakes all over again.”

“You know, there’s only one way for you to know if you’re repeating history.”

Emma lifts an eyebrow. “How’s that?”

Graham gets this dumb look on his face, a little bit drunk and a lot adorable. “Time machine. We need one. That’s the only way we can figure it out.”

Emma laughs so hard that she snorts, completely embarrassing herself. “Oh, God, I’m so embarrassing.”

“You’re adorable.” Graham says, his voice so warm she wants to wrap herself up in it. He sits facing her more now, his eyes meeting hers. “I missed this.”

Emma smiles softly. “Yeah. Me too.” 

Go with your gut. Right now, there’s a tiny bit of curiosity… _what if_ ’s buzzing around in her head. What if _this_ is right? With life so confusing, and incredibly insane, the only part that’s felt a little bit more normal is Graham, sitting here without any judgment, making her laugh like she’s sixteen again.

Emma leans toward him, content with being with him again. When they kiss, she doesn’t feel anything at all, but it doesn’t bother her. Feeling off-balance from the drinks, she pulls away with a giggle.

“Hmm. You can’t kiss a princess who’s engaged.”

“We both know you’re not,” Graham murmurs, his voice almost a whisper, clearly wanting to kiss her again.

Emma looks away, over her shoulder at the world behind her, as if she could see anything but stars. “Yeah...”

Graham tucks a strand of hair behind Emma’s ear and she looks at him once more. This time, their kiss brings Emma onto his lap, and she almost instantly gets a sick feeling in the pit of her stomach, shaking her head with a crease in her brow as she pulls away.

“I’m sorry. I always make mistakes like this.” She climbs off of him and puts her hands over her face, trying to get her head straight. “We can’t… Graham, I’m sorry.”

Graham sighs heavily. He puts a hand on her arm, gentle and unassuming. “It’s okay, Emma.”

Slowly, she pulls her hands away so she can meet his gaze. 

“Everything is so confusing right now and you just… made sense in that moment.”

With a nod and half a smirk, Graham says, “Guess history won’t be repeating itself tonight.”

She shakes her head. “Can you please just go?”

“Of course.” He stands, running his fingers through his hair, and offers her a small smile. “I’m just sorry it always has to end like this. Night, Em.”

“Night.”

\+ + +

**Present Day**

Emma doesn’t sleep knowing she has to present her engagement to the council in just a few hours. She stares at the wall, at the ceiling, at Killian, and drowns in thought, succumbing to her fears and allowing nightmare scenarios to play out.

To that end, she determines that the best way to start her day is with a run around the castle grounds, so before dawn, she climbs out of bed and finds her exercise clothes, laces up her sneakers, and gives Killian a lingering look before she’s out the door.

The morning is freezing, but the cold motivates her to finish the five mile run. She watches as the sun comes up, a pretty pink and orange hue filling the sky. Her thoughts seem to fade between the beauty of Misthaven just waking up back to Killian and how she’s suddenly found herself in what she believes is _love_.

The cold stings her face as she makes her final ascent back towards the castle. The adrenaline carries her to the finish line, and once she’s at the door, she sighs, throwing her head back as she settles her hands over her hips.

A member of the royal guard stands at the door, watching her, and she sucks in a deep breath.

“Morning.”

“Good morning, Your Highness.”

Emma walks on slightly aching legs through the doorway and decides to prepare for the day in some guest chambers. She showers, cleaning off the sweat from the run, and throws on a temporary outfit she finds in the closet, a large shirt with sweatpants.

While she walks back toward her bedroom, she considers _what_ she’ll say when she sees Killian again. They weren’t able to talk the way they should have the night before, and there hasn’t exactly been a moment of clarity for her.

She reaches her bedroom door far too soon and lingers at it, her fingers grasping the knob for a good twenty seconds before she actually twists it open. She’s mildly surprised to hear Merida’s voice right away.

“That’s why I was saying it’s important to take your time. If you rush your answers, it’s just going to look like you’re trying to get out of there. We want poise and we want charm.”

Emma finds Merida sitting on the couch in the living room with Killian standing opposite her, a large leather-bound book in his hand. He looks over at her in the doorway, tilting his head as a smile finds his face.

“There she is: my beautiful bride-to-be.”

She steps into the room. “What’s going on here? Publicity meeting?”

Merida climbs off of the couch and nods at her briefly before turning her attention to the phone in her hand. “Your mom thought it might be good to do a little prep before breakfast.”

For his part, Killian looks _mostly_ cheery. He’s not dressed yet, still wearing what he’d slept in, and his hair is messy from the pillow. It almost seems to her that he just woke up to find Merida ready to rock and roll.

Emma approaches Killian and casually gives him a kiss in greeting, for the sake of their guest, then explains, “I took a run.”

He hums in understanding. “Nervous?”

She sighs and sits on the couch, grabbing for a pillow to hold. “You know me too well."

Killian smirks. He closes the book in his hand.

“You know,” Merida says, breaking the silence, “I think we should get your stylist up here. We want to craft a complete image. I don’t know what we have to work with, but I was hoping for business casual. Definitely need Emma in a dress. You need to look regal.”

Emma nods in understanding. “I’ll call her up.”

“Good. I was also thinking… I know it’s super last minute, but do you have pictures you can share with the council of your life in the US? I’m thinking… relationship stuff. Stuff that says, you know, it was important that you met the way you did. We can get that across with words, but I love tangible too.”

Emma hesitates. “We have pictures. I’ll see what I can safely share with a group of cranky adults who don’t love me at the moment.” 

Merida laughs. “I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised. I met with them yesterday to get a feel. They’re excited. They think you being home again is a good sign for the future.”

She meets Killian’s gaze. He gets a little sparkle in his eye. “I gave Emma a necklace for her birthday this year. She could wear that.”

“Ooh, I love that.” Merida beams. “Yes. As much as we can show, we should. Videos, pictures… funny stories… let’s try to paint something so lifelike _they_ fall in love.”

\+ + +

Killian is given a haircut, a shave, and is physically dressed from head to toe with a crowd of onlookers taking notes and giving reactions. He ends up wearing a dark blue suit, no tie, and a fun pair of socks that are hidden beneath freshly shined shoes. 

“Okay, where’s Emma?” Merida demands to know, biting on the end of a pen. “We need fiancée approval.”

He points into the bedroom, where he thought he’d seen her just a few moments prior. “She’s in the bedroom.”

Merida pivots on her heel, calling out for the princess, “Emma! Come out here, please.”

When she emerges a minute later, he can’t help but smile. She’s wearing a pink dress, her hair braided down along the side of her head, and she’s wearing the necklace he’d given her as a centerpiece. Her makeup is soft, but still enough that she doesn’t seem to be going into the meeting completely unprepared.

A smile fills her lips at the sight of him. “ _Very_ handsome. Good job, everyone.”

The crew laugh at the complement. Emma steps up to him, giving him a look at the way her body fills out the dress. She’s in heels, giving her height enough that she wouldn’t have to stretch to kiss him. If she wanted to.

“Yes. I approve.”

Killian lifts an eyebrow. “I’m cleared for the meeting?”

She hums and turns away, looking at Merida. “Merida, I sent you those pictures.”

Merida nods. “I’m having them printed as we speak.”

Emma takes a deep breath. She steps to the side, clasping her hands together in front of her chest. “Well, this is kind of a huge day for us. So thank you, everyone, for helping us get ready.” She looks up at him. “I was kind of hoping Killian and I could have a few minutes before we go down for breakfast. So… if everything is in order…?”

Merida holds up both hands. “Say no more. Everything, as far as I’m concerned, is set. You both look amazing. Incredibly royal. Your answers sound great. Killian, just remember: smile and breathe. This isn’t supposed to be hard. Just be honest.”

“Thank you, Merida.” 

“Once the council meeting is over, enjoy the day. It’s Christmas Eve.”

Emma laughs. “We’ll do what we can.”

It takes a few minutes, but the room does eventually clear out. Emma wanders away from him to look out the floor-to-ceiling windows in the living room. He joins her. The view is gorgeous, mountains and forest for miles on end. 

“Do you think they’re going to really be as generous as Merida said they’d be?” Emma asks when they’re finally alone.

Killian takes a deep breath. He shakes his head, still staring out at the world beyond. “I don’t know. If Regina’s there… I get the feeling it probably won’t be. Right?”

Emma takes his hand and steals his attention. “Just don’t… don’t let them get you angry or upset. They’re going to try. Especially if Regina’s there.”

Killian nods in understanding. He studies her, how beautiful she looks, and sighs. “If this were _real_ , I’d be the luckiest damned fool on the planet to even be standing here right now.”

The princess laughs quietly through her nose. Her fingers slide between his and squeeze as she meets his palm with her own. 

“Be yourself,” Emma says. “Show them why I chose you.”

There’s a lump in his throat now, and he thinks back to the night before, standing in the hall, her lips on his. He’s tired of the secrets he’s keeping from her. Telling her _now_ would be bad timing, though, wouldn’t it?

Killian opens his mouth to speak, but Emma’s phone rings and she gives him an apologetic smile.

“That’ll be my mother, the queen.” She still stands before him, unmoving, and for a moment, considers him. “This is your last chance to take an out. If you don’t want to do this… if getting married and becoming the King of Misthaven isn’t what you want… tell me. Be honest. I’ll… figure something out.”

He thinks about her proposition for barely a second. “I want this. I promise.”

Emma sighs heavily. “I don’t understand why… but you’re not freaking out right now, so I guess you mean it.” She steps quickly away from him, reaching for her still ringing phone. “Hi. We’re on our way right now.”

\+ + +

The council chambers are surprisingly… _fun_. 

Yes, there’s a long table down the middle with chairs, but there are also unique chandeliers hanging from the ceiling, a bright artsy rug on the floor, and paintings of the odd variety on the walls. 

A Christmas tree is nestled into a nook in the back corner of the room, adorned in popcorn and funky ornaments. Christmas music plays over speakers softly.

On top of the table, there are breakfast pastries and a Christmas-themed runner fits from top to bottom, with candles on top giving the distinct scent of cinnamon and pine to the room. Members of the council are gathered by the windows that line one side of the room, laughing brightly and warmly. Their attention is unbroken when Killian and Emma are walked into the room by Mary Margaret and David.

“Welcome to the most fun room in the castle,” Mary Margaret says to them. She waves at a member of the council. “Hi! Merry Christmas. How are your little ones?”

When the queen bustles away from them, Killian looks at Emma. She seems nervous, looking up at the ceiling like she’s never seen one before.

“Hey. You alright?”

Emma nods. “Yeah.”

“Well, if we can get started, I think we should,” David says loud enough that it disperses the clumps of groups that had formed. “I know we’d all like to celebrate Christmas Eve with our families, so I’ll keep my introduction short. As you know, our daughter, Princess Emma, has been living in America for the past few years attending school and expanding her knowledge of the world.”

Killian discovers that he and Emma have become the focal point in the room. All eyes seem to be on both of them.

“And while she was there, she, well, I think we all know by now… it’s the reason we’re here.” David says, laughing. The room joins him. “Mary Margaret and I are proud to introduce you to Killian Jones, Emma’s fiancé. We’ve had the opportunity to get to know him over the past few days and we think he’ll be an excellent addition to the family.”

David smiles at him and he smiles back.

“He’s everything I wanted for my daughter. I think it's a shame we even have to go through these formalities. I think he’s great. And I know with a little training, he’ll be ready to lead right alongside Emma.”

Mary Margaret crosses the room and joins her husband. “And, Emma, we don’t want to speak for you, but we’ve been talking, and you told us that you were interested in staying in Misthaven from now on. Sweetie?”

Emma nods toward the council. “I appreciate all of you coming to meet on Christmas Eve. Truly, you didn’t have to do this. I know your time is valuable and you’ve got a big break coming up.” 

She pauses and takes Killian’s hand. “To answer my mother’s question, yes. When Killian and I decided to come home for Christmas, we kept in mind the idea that, as long as we felt it was right and we felt welcomed and comfortable, we were going to choose to stay here.”

It’s a big lie. The first of many. But it still stings, somehow.

“We love Misthaven,” Emma says warmly, a smile on her face so kind. “We love the people here. And I’m very happy to be with family and friends again. It’s been a few years, but I feel as if I’ve been brought right back in where I left off.”

Looking around the room, Killian thinks the members of the council have completely bought her words. 

Turning to him, Emma gestures her free hand his way, allowing her engagement ring to flash the room. 

“So, as you know, this is my first time having to have a meeting like this, and this is Killian’s first big royal council meeting ever. I hope that over the course of our time here today, you’ll see why I fell in love with him, and know that regardless of where he comes from, he’ll be loyal and true to our home and country.”

“Thank you, Emma.” Mary Margaret says with a polite smile. “Alright. So, let’s have a seat at the table, and we’ll begin.” 

\+ + +

The photos Emma had printed bring a smile to his face when she brings them out to show off to the room. Together, they sit facing the group, and while it might make him nervous, being with Emma helps everything uncomfortable worry him just a little bit less.

“Okay,” Emma says, lifting up a picture they’d taken on a sailboat with Liam in the background. She laughs a bit. “So… Killian and his brother Liam have a sailboat. And when the weather is nice, we go on excursions. Or that’s what Killian says they are.”

Killian chuckles. “They are, by definition, an excursion, love.”

She hums thoughtfully. “Well, okay. We can debate that later.”

The council members laugh at their light bickering. 

“Anyway. Killian loves to sail. He told me once he’d do it everyday if he had the time.”

He nods. “Aye. I would. That’s true.” Briefly, he looks to the council to explain, “Liam was in the navy, which is why he’s partial. Once he came back, he taught me everything I know.”

Emma gives him a little look when she pulls out the next picture. She shows it to him privately and his eyes widen.

“Um, excuse me, how did that get in there?”

Bubbly laughter pours from her lips and she flips the picture around so the table can see. It’s just a picture of him sleeping, but there’s a story that goes along with it that Merida had previously approved.

“So…”

“Allow me,” Killian says, holding out a hand to defend himself. “Emma has this habit where she’ll say she’s coming over to visit, and when she arrives, straight away she falls down on the couch and goes to sleep with one of my ball caps over her face.”

“We should add that you have an absurd collection. And there is always one on the couch in the way of the pillow.”

He sighs, nodding in agreement. “Fine. I have a lot of hats. It’s my secret vice.” Emma laughs. He continues, “Anyway, this picture was taken one afternoon following Emma’s usual nap. It had been a long day and I still have no idea where on Earth she could’ve found a hat to put on my face, but it wasn’t there when I passed out.”

Her laughter brings his sole attention to her again. 

“What about that is so silly?”

Emma shakes her head. She puts her hand over his chest as her laughter softens. “I’m sorry. You seem to always find the camera in the room to pose for it and you get mad at me for taking pictures of you when you’re sleeping. Okay, Jones.”

Killian sighs. “You’re lucky I love you.”

\+ + +

There is a man with hardly any hair sitting opposite King David at the table who seems unconvinced about everything they’ve talked about and questions they’ve answered.

“I have a question,” he finally says, clearing his throat, “I’d like to know what you two make of these stories that have come out in the press about you faking your engagement.”

Killian looks at the council while Emma’s palm finds his wobbling knee beneath the table. He turns his attention to her, hoping she’ll go first.

“Well, thank you for asking. I’ve seen the reports. They’re… nothing short of troubling.” Emma says diplomatically. “But I think you can tell just by being with us that we’re not faking our love for one another.”

“There are sources in these articles,” the man says abruptly, “they claim to be friends. Should we track them down when we start the next phase of interviews?”

Killian clears his throat. “Erm… sir, I don’t mean to be disrespectful to you, or to this process, but it’s my understanding that sometimes there are people who go to the press to spread misinformation for money. These sources might not even truly be our friends.”

“And when we talk to your friends and family, Mister Jones? Will they be able to corroborate everything you’ve said here today?”

His stomach jerks violently. This brutal grilling was not something he’d prepared for. He hesitates, possibly for too long, because the man nods and grunts, muttering under his breath.

“Now, look, I’m not saying they wouldn’t.” Killian says, sitting forward. “I’m just… Emma wasn’t completely honest with who she was in New York. She didn’t tell anyone she was a princess. She wanted to be just like everyone else. I can’t blame her for that.”

Killian looks at Emma. “And in so doing, our relationship was kept very private. We didn’t tell very many people we were dating, and when we got engaged… I think only Liam knew, and that’s because I live with him and he’s my brother.”

Emma nods, agreeing with his story. “I wanted certain things for myself. I know that’s selfish. But we were best friends for so long before we decided to date that it just felt like something we needed to protect. Just like I wanted to protect the truth that I’m the princess of Misthaven.”

“So you were ashamed of us?” an older woman asks.

“No, no,” Emma assures her politely. “I wasn’t ashamed. I was just a teenager in a new city when I arrived and I thought… I thought I could be someone new. And so I was.”

“I think we need more evidence that you’re not lying.” A female member of the council says bitterly. “Are you aware of how serious our role is in this? We need to know that we’re acting in good faith. The integrity of our history is at stake here. No offense to you, Mr. Jones. An outsider without a title hasn’t married into the lineage for centuries.”

“Of course, Madam Council-member.” Emma says earnestly. “I…”

The doors, in proper dramatic fashion, swing open and they’re interrupted by a woman with a grin. “Good morning. I hope I’m not too late.”

“Regina,” Mary Margaret says, standing from her spot at the table. “No, we’re still talking. Please, have a seat.”

Regina. The woman he’d been warned about. It’s interesting that she’d show up just in the nick of time.

Regina sits at the table and clears her throat. All attention is on her now, and he gets the impression that it’s just what she likes.

“Alright. I’m wondering, Princess, if you would be willing to talk about _why_ you banned General Graham Humbert from the castle following an argument the two of you had the night of December twenty-third.”

Emma shakes her head slowly. “Sure. Um… he was making some untoward advances and said some things that made me uncomfortable. So I asked security to take him out of the party.” 

Regina hums thoughtfully. She shifts in her seat, digging through her purse for something as she asks, “And is it true that you were romantically involved with Mr. Humbert before you left Misthaven?”

“Yes.” Emma replies honestly. “But it was very short lived. I don’t think either of us were serious.”

Regina pulls a manilla file folder from her bag and sets it on the table. She traces the edges of the folder briefly. “Had you met with him before your argument at the ball?”

Killian shuts his eyes, knowing exactly what she was trying to pull from Emma. The princess, to her benefit, maintains her cool.

“Yes. We met up the day before. He joined Killian and I for breakfast and later that night, he visited with me on the roof where I often go to gather my thoughts.”

The folder opens and inside, there are a series of photographs, taken clearly from a distance, but they show Emma and Graham in a rather _compromising_ position.

Killian averts his gaze, lest he allow his anger and jealousy to overwhelm him. He’d almost like to run out of the room, but Emma needs him now. He knows she does.

“Can you tell the room, Mr. Jones, what these photographs show?”

He swallows thickly, looking away from the table and instead at the images in Regina’s hands. 

“It was a lapse in judgment,” he replies, trying to keep his tone level. “Emma told me about the kiss they’d shared. She told me she regretted it.”

Taking a deep breath, Regina sets the photos down on the table, pushing them out toward members of the council. 

“That’s awfully kind that you’d forgive her.”

“We all make mistakes.”

Regina nods. “True.” 

She presses a button on her phone. Suddenly, he hears Emma’s voice coming through the speakers.

“Being royal has never been my thing. I think everyone knows that. But I have loyalty to my family and I have to honor my parents by keeping their wishes. Moving to America was never supposed to be a lifetime solution.”

“Do you wish it was?”

Emma pauses thoughtfully. “Sometimes.”

A beat.

“Do you love him?”

“Of course I do. I’m marrying him, aren’t I?”

“You can be honest, Emma.”

Her pause is longer this time. “No. How could I?”

Regina stops the recording. She folds her hands together on top of the table and addresses the council, “I think we have enough evidence here to end this meeting. It’s very clear that the princess doesn’t truly want to hold her position in line, and not just that… but it seems she’s been _lying_ about her relationship. What else is she lying about?”

“That recording is altered,” Emma says, her voice uneven. “I had more to say, and you cut out a lot of context.” She pauses. “The fact that Graham would be recording me… honestly, Regina, I knew you could stoop low… this is a new low. Using someone I _trusted_ to get me to say what you think they need to hear?” 

She suddenly stands and closes her eyes tightly for a moment. “If the council is going to take Regina’s _evidence_ as proof that I’m lying, that’s fine. But I’m still going to get married. I’m still going to live here. And I’m _never_ going to stop fighting for Misthaven.”

Killian notices that her hands are trembling, so he stands alongside her, taking one into his. She looks up at him, tears in her eyes.

“Come on, love, let’s go.” Killian murmurs, gently turning her to move to the door. He settles his hand on the small of her back and intentionally doesn’t look back, lest he erupt at Regina in a seething rage.

When they’re in the hall, Emma instantly steps away from him, scowling. “I _knew_ this would happen. I knew I should never have trusted Graham. I knew it. And…” She groans. “And now everything is just…”

“Emma, Emma, hey,” Killian tries to quiet her down, reaching for her arm. “How about we make it to our room before you unload?”

She takes a deep breath, glancing over at the closed council door. “Yeah. You’re right.”

\+ + +

To Killian’s surprise, once they arrive back in their room, Emma _doesn’t_ unload. She instead turns, locks the door, and powers down her phone.

“They’re going to want to talk to us, and I don’t feel like talking.”

Killian furrows his brow. “What do you feel like doing?”

She shuffles into the living room, collapsing onto the couch. She covers her face with her hands. “I feel like running back to New York and pretending we never came here.”

He takes off his shoes and jacket, then joins her in the living room, pulling her shoes off before he settles himself down beneath her feet.

“The recording was altered,” Emma says again. “ _God_ , he was recording us. I feel so stupid.”

He sighs. “I had a bad feeling about him from the start.”

Staring at him, she nibbles on her lip. “I didn’t mean what the recording made it seem like I said about you. I do care for you. You’re my best friend.”

With a small smile, he nods. He hadn’t had time to process her reaction. But now, worry fills his tightening chest. She doesn’t feel the same. He was right all along.

“And we’re getting married,” Emma murmurs. “That hasn’t changed.”

“Of course not.” Killian agrees. He would like to curse himself for how deep he continues to sink into this hole, but it’s a lot easier just letting it happen. Pulling on a smile, he asks, “What if we get in our cozy clothes and eat junk food while we watch every Hallmark Christmas movie we can find?”

Emma sits upright, pulling her body close to him. She rests her cheek on her arm, curled over her knees. “I need that. Please.”

Killian leans in and kisses the bridge of her nose. “Go. Get your butt into bed. I’ll see what I can find in the kitchen.”

His fiancée smiles at him with giddy excitement. “Thank you. You’re amazing.”

He winks at her, hoping her heart skips a beat because his does at the natural intimacy of the moment. “I know.”


	15. Merry Christmas… By The Way, I Love You

**Chapter Fifteen** | Merry Christmas… By The Way, I Love You

When Killian wakes up on Christmas morning, it is to the feeling of Emma’s warm body curled against him. Her pretty blonde tresses are all amiss, mussed from tossing and turning in sleep, and her back is as snuggly pressed to his chest as he thinks is possible. 

It’s _Christmas_ and he’s in love with his best friend.

Squeezing his eyes tightly closed, he thinks back on the day prior, from their meeting with the council to the lazy afternoon that had followed. Honestly, it had been exactly what they needed. Enough time to get away from their lies and be together again in the kind of way they’d been before coming to Misthaven.

Emma turns, opening her eyes a little. She looks up at him sleepily and says, voice scratchy, “Merry Christmas, Killian.”

“Happy Christmas, Emma.”

She hums softly and closes her eyes again, not bothering to move. They’re still entwined, tangled limbs and soft, warm heat.

They need to talk about it. About _everything_. About their kisses. Their _real_ kiss. 

About the fact that they could’ve come clean once Regina revealed her evidence. About the fact that they’re getting married.

About the fact that he loves her.

But every time he thinks of it, he goes completely still, frozen with fear. How does one admit their feelings to their best friend of five years? Do you say, “Merry Christmas, and by the way, I love you!”?

“Hey,” Killian hears Emma murmur, fingers on his arm. “Should we call Liam and wish him a good Christmas?”

He sighs. “Yeah. We could.”

Emma wakes up a little more, eyes focusing in the fresh morning light. She laughs, a little scoff that mocks his attitude. “What are you thinking about so hard?”

“Nothing.” He shakes his head. “Let’s wake up first. Then we can call. Yeah?”

She clears her throat. “Okay. But you’re being weird.”

“I just woke up. How am I being weird already?”

Emma sits upright and shrugs. “I don’t know. I just think you’re distracted or… I don’t know.”

Killian joins her, sitting up, and thoughtfully looks away from Emma toward the window. They sit in silence for a bit.

“Emma, I think we should probably talk about everything that’s going on.” Killian turns to Emma. “And I think we need to be brutally honest.”

He sees her hesitate, a brief glance away from him as she says, “Okay.” 

“We kissed. Properly. Just the two of us. In the hall.”

Emma averts her gaze again, looking down at her hands in her lap. “I… uh… yeah. We did.”

“Did you mean that? Or was it a mistake like what happened with Graham?”

She gives him an upset look. “Killian, that’s not fair.”

“The situation isn’t fair.” Killian argues. “I’m here because you asked me to play a part. And now…”

Her eyes grow wide. “No, go ahead. Finish that thought. You wanted brutal honesty.”

Killian only pauses for a brief second to gather his thoughts. She’s right: he’d asked if they could be honest about what’s going on. And it isn’t as if he didn’t know where the conversation would lead. This is what he _wants_ to talk about.

“I thought it would be weird and uncomfortable, coming home with you for the holidays, but, gods above, Nolan, we’re _actually_ engaged now, and _kissing_ … what the hell is going on here?”

Emma nods. She climbs out of bed. “I’ve apologized for bringing you here without telling you the truth, but you keep saying it’s okay to keep pushing forward. _You_ were the one that said we should be actually engaged.”

“I know, and I take ownership of that.” Killian stands up too. “How about the kiss? What was that about?”

Emma doesn’t respond for a moment, shaking her head. “I… don’t know.”

He bites the inside of his cheek. “I’m just trying to air some of the thoughts I keep having. Like… the fact that I’ve come to realize that I have feelings for you that make it even more difficult. Being here.”

He trails off at the end and entirely averts his gaze. He’s too nervous to face her. Even without actually having said it, the suggestion of it makes his chest throb.

Emma’s voice sounds somewhat surprised, albeit frustrated. “You… have feelings like _what_?”

Killian hesitates. He scratches beneath his ear and tilts his head as he tosses that hand outward. “I… suppose they’re rather…” He meets her eyes then, finally daring to be honest in the best way he can. “Romantic in nature.”

“Romantic…” Emma stammers, shaking her head.

The way she seems so entirely overwhelmed terrifies him to clamming up. He grimaces, then forces a slightly upset smile while he clenches a fist at his side. 

“You know what, forget I said anything. It was a stupid crush is all it was. I don’t feel that way anymore.”

Killian goes to grab some clothes to change into from a nearby dresser, but Emma keeps staring at him in an eerie silence, so he looks up.

“ _What_ , Emma?”

“Are you being serious right now?”

He flashes a fake smile at her. “As serious as ever.”

“You don’t get to do that.” Emma snaps at him. “You don’t get to say you have _romantic_ feelings for me and then say you don’t anymore.”

“Well, what do you want me to do?”

“Pick one!” Emma almost shouts. “Do you or don’t you?”

He shakes his head. “It’s like I said. It was a crush. Nothing more. If you didn’t make things so damned difficult, maybe…”

“How do I make things difficult?” she asks, insulted. 

Emma folds her arms across her chest and stares, waiting for his answer.

“Come on, Emma, don’t make me say it.”

She stares at him with wide eyes, demanding that he continue without saying anything.

Sighing heavily, Killian straightens his posture. 

“You’re hiding behind walls that I don’t even think you realize are there. You’ve kept secrets from me about your past. I know for a fact that’s true because look at us now. I’m engaged to a princess. But it goes beyond that. You liked hiding in New York, being someone new, and now… now, I _know_ you. And I think you’ve made it your mission to keep me at arms length to protect yourself. _That’s_ how you’re making it difficult.”

He stares at her, both of them silent for a moment. He looks away, at the clothes in the drawer. “I’ll go home. I think that’s the best way we solve this.”

“What, right now?”

“Yep.” 

He almost wishes he could teleport home rather than take the long, dreadful trip back alone. He wishes he never brought it up. Wishes she’d stop staring at him like he has a third eye. Wishes he could just disappear altogether.

Emma gives him a weary look. “You’re the one who wanted to talk and now you’re running away.”

“Fine,” he says, turning to her fully. 

Somehow, Killian gathers the strength he needs to put every single card he has on the table in just one breath. 

“I love you. I’m in love with you, and I have been for a long time. I want you to feel the same way, but it’s clear to me that you won’t ever feel those same feelings, and that’s why I haven’t said anything. Are you happy with that answer?”

Emma blinks at him, eyes wide and jaw slacked ever so slightly, but doesn’t say anything.

“The worst part is I _want_ to marry you,” he says, winding himself down. “I desperately want you in ways I shouldn’t as your friend.” He closes his eyes and shakes his head. “So much so that I envision our children in my dreams.”

Killian curses under his breath at the way she stands before him so silent and still. 

“This is exactly why I didn’t want to tell you.” He considers his options briefly and clears his throat, feeling more embarrassed than relieved that she knows the truth. “I should go. Don’t come after me. I want to be alone.”

He doesn’t grab anything except his wallet and phone before stuffing his feet into a pair of shoes and heading out the door.

\+ + +

Emma feels like a shell of herself. 

When Killian leaves, she’s still standing, frozen in place, where she had been when he’d been ever so blunt about how he feels for her.

So it’s true: Killian is in love with her. 

Not just that, but he wants to marry her - _that’s_ how much he loves her.

Finally, she forces herself to move, pivoting on her heel to look around the room aimlessly. She has no idea where he’s going, but she knows she has to find him. 

He hadn’t let her respond. The argument had been too emotion-filled for her to get any words out, and she’d been too surprised by his admission to even form a coherent thought.

Emma steps into her closet to find something to wear, finding it impossible to work buttons and zippers. She gets frustrated fast, throwing things onto the ground when they don’t work.

If he loves her, why did he walk out?

She sits on the floor of her closet, pulling her knees to her chest, and closes her eyes as she rests her cheek against her knee. It’s Christmas, a day she used to love more than any other day, and now… 

“Emma? Are you in?” Her mother’s voice carries from the other room.

Emma doesn’t move. She sighs. “Yeah.”

Mary Margaret finds her, frowning. “Emma… what’s going on? I just heard Killian’s taking a car to the airport.”

She throws her head back a little and her stomach twists, aching in the worst way. 

“I messed up.”

Her mother kneels in front of her, tilting her head to the side as she affectionately brushes Emma’s hair back. “Oh, baby. What happened?”

She’s afraid to open up, to tell the truth. To her family, everything’s perfectly alright. Emma and Killian are supposed to be getting married, and soon, there will be a wedding. 

Her parents love her, regardless of who she’s with or what she’s done, but she has done something awful. She’s played with the emotions of her best friend for far too long, and now she’s playing with her family’s hearts too.

The only thing she knows is that she needs to be honest. If not with Killian when the moment was right, then at the very least, she should tell her parents the truth. It might be too late for her and Killian- he’d already given up on her- but her relationship with her family is forever.

The world feels like it’s closing in as she counts the seconds down. 3...2...1…

“I lied to you,” she says in a shaking whisper. Tears fall from her eyes easily, but don’t corrupt her ability to speak, thankfully. “I thought it would be easier to come back home with someone because then you wouldn’t see me as the failure I am. The truth is, I suck at love and I broke up with my last boyfriend a few months ago when I found out he was thinking about proposing.”

Emma’s throat aches. “It’s not Killian’s fault. I… dragged him into this because we’re... friends, or we were.” She looks down at the floor, too afraid to see the disappointed look on her mother’s face. Her voice cracks slightly, “I’ve hurt too many people. And I’m sorry.”

Her mother’s silence isn’t surprising. She sighs, a soft little noise, and when Emma finally dares to look up at her, she smiles ever so gently.

“It’s okay, Emma,” Mary Margaret says, reaching for Emma’s cheeks to wipe the tears away in the most motherly fashion. “I’m not angry or upset.”

Relief floods over her in a giant wave. She finds herself able to sit upright again. And then she thinks of Killian, of his words, and grief collides with her chest in the harshest way.

“He’s in love with me.” Emma says in a voice just above a whisper. “He just told me. And I just… _froze_. I stood there, staring at him, and he…” 

She shrugs her shoulder, too broken to finish the thought.

“Do you love him?” her mother asks calmly.

For a few seconds, Emma thinks about it. The thought that she might never get to see him again scares her, but the idea that she’ll never get to say what’s been in her heart for the past several days is even more terrifying.

“Yes.” Emma manages to say. “I do. I love him.”

The queen takes both of Emma’s hands in hers. “I know.”

Emma blinks in confusion. “How?”

Her mother gives her a lopsided smile. 

“I’ve seen the way you are with him. Even on your best days with those boys you’d bring to meet us… it was never like this. And, oh, how he adores you...” Mary Margaret squeezes Emma’s hands. “If you love him, and he loves you, it’s worth fighting for. What are you going to do?”

Emma’s fingers absentmindedly twist her fake engagement ring. She considers her next move carefully. “How fast can Leroy have the plane ready?”

Her mother beams at her. “That’s my girl.”


	16. The Truth

**Chapter Sixteen** | The Truth

Somehow, Killian gets lucky enough that the first flight out to New York isn’t booked, and it leaves within the next hour. He doesn’t have anything with him, so security is a breeze, and by the time he’s at the terminal, it’s time to board.

His seat is in the rear of the plane, nestled against a window, and he has to wait for his seat companions to move before he can squeeze in. Once he’s finally seated, he looks out the window, wondering if the flight will be stopped in a dramatic fashion by the Misthaven guard before he can make his escape.

Part of him sort of wishes they might. It wouldn’t be a good look, but now that he’s on the plane, doubt and regret have begun to sink into his belly, twisting like knots. 

He shouldn’t have left. He’s ruining things because he’s leaving.

But in the same thought, pride that protects his heart fills his chest and he denies the doubt. Emma was never going to love him back. He’s right to leave, especially considering that this is _her_ mess.

“I’m sorry to bother you… but… are you Princess Emma’s fiancé?”

Killian turns, finding that the young woman sitting beside him very clearly recognizes him. _Wonderful_. 

Not only can’t he get away fast enough, but now he’s trapped with someone who knows his identity.

“Ah… yeah.” Killian manages a grin. “That’s me.”

She grins, nodding her head. “Why are you leaving on Christmas morning? Shouldn’t you be with the royal family? I heard you were supposed to stay a little longer. Rumor had it you were even thinking of staying permanently.”

He hesitates with his answer. He isn’t sure who this woman is, after all. She could share what he has to say with any number of people.

“I… I’ve had a situation come up with my family, so I have to get back much sooner than anticipated. I’m not sure how long I’ll be away. We’re going to play it by ear, I suppose.”

The woman frowns. “Oh. I’m sorry to hear that.”

“Aye.” Killian gives the window his attention again, watching as the crew loads the luggage into the lower compartment. 

“I made an Instagram video of your mistletoe kiss. It went viral.”

He turns, finding his companion streaming a video of the deeply passionate kiss in front of the audience at the Christmas ball.

“It has two million views.” She adds. “And I’m not even, like, popular on there.”

He hums. “Congratulations.”

“So what’s Emma like in person? Is she as kind as she seems? How’d you meet? Is she really going to be the queen soon?”

Gods above, this is about to be the longest flight of his life. Is it too late to get off the plane and return to the castle with his head hanging in shame?

\+ + +

When Killian finally sets foot in America, he finds that he feels less relieved than he’d thought he would, and instead he feels upset. 

It had been an insane week, all things considered, and he’s coming home entirely empty handed. In fact, he’s going home without a best friend, which means he’d lost more than he gained over the length of his time away.

At least she knows the truth. If that even matters anymore.

Feeling a little off-balance with the world he’s returned to, he decides to stop for a bite to eat at his and Emma’s favorite diner. When he checks his phone for messages, there are a few from Liam, but the royals are quiet. It’s almost laughably predictable.

He thinks he’s recognized by a couple of teenaged girls while he sips some dark roast coffee. They giggle to one another while sneaking a look at him over the cushion of their booth just a few tables away.

Is this something he’ll have to get used to now? Being famous? Just because he was engaged to a princess?

It isn’t something that leaves a particularly good taste in his mouth. Especially now.

He approaches his and Liam’s apartment with a heavy heart. This isn’t what he wants, of course not, but he can’t _have_ what he does want: Emma, and a life with her. 

His key still fits in the lock, which gives him peace in that at least Liam didn’t try to pull any tricks. He pushes the door open and prepares to explain everything to his older brother, but it’s surprisingly quiet and dark instead.

“Li? You home?”

Killian shuts the door behind him. He locks it and sighs, dragging a hand over his face. He’s craving a shower and desperately needs to go to bed, so he shuffles up the hallway toward his bedroom.

When he opens the door, he freezes. His heart skips a beat.

_Emma._

She’s sitting on his bed, looking at something on his nightstand, and she stirs at the sound of the squeaking hinges of the door.

“Emma… what are you…”

The princess stands. She gives him an apologetic smile and he thinks the world begins to fall away as her feet carry her to him. As beautiful as he’s ever seen her, Emma looks every bit the shining gem he knows her to be. It’s absolutely absurd to even think about it, but… he’d _missed_ her.

“I took the private jet,” she explains quietly, with a twinge of nervousness. “I missed the flight you took by just a few minutes.”

Killian stares blankly at her, then down at his feet. He isn’t sure why, but he’s anxious. He’d resigned himself to the idea that he may never see her again, much less hear her talking to him in this tone of voice. 

“I… needed to tell you what I couldn’t this morning.” Emma finally says, coming to a stop just in front of him.

Killian swallows thickly. He can smell her now, vanilla and sea salt. A hint of cinnamon. His eyes squeeze shut, out of sheer exhaustion from the day he’s had, and he tries to ignore the pang in his chest when he meets her gaze again. 

“Alright. Out with it.”

Emma surprises his heart right out of his chest when she speaks, “I love you too.”

He stares at her for a moment, shaking his head. He’s weary now, of the lies and the trouble he’s caused. After everything they’ve been through, he won’t allow her to lie to him too. 

“Emma, don’t do this.” Killian whispers, fighting the urge he has to give in. “Don’t lie to me because you think it will help me feel better.”

She frowns. “I’m not lying.”

He searches her eyes, trying to discern her honesty. He can’t. “You want me to go back with you. You want to pretend this didn’t happen. I know you, Emma. I’m… I _was_ your best friend… you can’t lie to me. That’s not fair.”

“Killian, I’m not lying to you,” Emma insists, becoming frustrated. Her breathing becomes labored. “I panicked, okay? I didn’t know how to handle it. I didn’t think you felt that way and I _froze_.”

The tears in her eyes begin to tell him that his initial reaction was wrong and he feels guilty, his eyes widening as the revelation that this is _really_ happening hits him.

“Are you sure that’s how you feel?”

She nods. 

He swallows the thick lump in his throat. “This is a lie you will never be able to come back from, Emma, because I love you, and I desperately want a future with you.” His voice lowers to a whisper, “I want a _family_ with you, Emma, so if you don’t truly mean it… if this is another messy lie to fix it... darling, please, _don’t_ say those words to me again.”

Emma gently presses her hands against his cheeks, cradling him almost as if she worries he’ll break, and studies him silently, a smile slowly filling her lips. “I love you, Killian Jones.”

Unable to stop himself, he leans down to lift her into his arms, his lips pressing against hers with a hungry growl. Her fingers tangle in his hair and she gives as much as he does, like a man who hasn’t had a drop of water in three days.

When Emma moans, he remembers to breathe, releasing her lips but leaning his forehead against hers. Their breaths come heavy, desperate.

“I want to marry you,” Emma whispers, “and I want there to be a lot more of this.”

He chuckles, mostly from relief, meeting her laughter. He kisses her again, this time softer, and when he pulls away, he peppers kisses all over her face, something that makes her giggle into his ear so sweetly. His final kiss is to her forehead, when he pulls back, but only just enough to look at her.

“There will be far more of this,” he says, gripping her hips tighter. “We have to make up for some lost time.”

Emma hums, tugging at her lower lip with her teeth. “I love the sound of that.”

For a few moments, they just smile at each other like complete fools, grinning from ear-to-ear, and then, he realizes that Emma is standing in his bedroom.

“Hold on, how did you get in?”

She laughs. “Um… Liam let me in. He’s hiding in his room. Said something about not wanting to be in the way.”

“That buggering idiot.” Killian sighs under his breath. He rolls his eyes and shakes his head, then kisses Emma again, a lingering press of lips that makes him want more. He leans back, tilting his head toward the door. “I should probably talk to him.”

Emma nods. “Yeah.” 

He squeezes her hips, delighting in the warmth of how she leans into him.

“I’m so glad you followed me here."

“Me too.”

\+ + +

Emma holds onto Killian’s hand while they approach Liam’s closed bedroom door just up the small hallway. She peers up at him, biting at her kiss-swollen lips nervously. They’re going to tell him about literally _everything_ , and some of it… she doesn’t even think she’ll have answers for.

She and Killian have yet to get into details, obviously, but specifics aren’t as important when she can hold onto the one key truth: they’re _in_ _love_.

Killian taps on Liam’s door and says, “Hey, Liam. Emma and I would like to talk with you.”

The door opens a few moments later. Killian’s older brother sighs heavily, folding his arms to his chest. “I should hope so. There have been more questions than answers lately.”

“I know.” Killian says. “Let’s talk.”

Liam looks between them, nodding. “You hungry?”

“I ate.” Killian turns to Emma. “Nolan?”

“I’m fine. Thanks.”

Liam walks with them out into the living area anyway. He busies himself in the kitchen while Emma and Killian sit on the barstools at the counter opposite him.

“Are you moving?” Liam asks. “Out to Misthaven? To be near Emma?” 

Killian clears his throat. He shifts uncomfortably in his seat. “Erm… well, yes, I’ll be moving to Misthaven, but not just to be near Emma. I’ll be moving _in_ with Emma, because we’re getting married.”

Liam stops what he’s doing and stares up at them. She can tell he’s at least modestly surprised, but maybe not as much as he could be. He shakes his head slowly. “How did that happen?”

Killian looks at Emma. He smiles at her softly. “Brother, if I told you the whole story, you’d just roll your eyes, but… basically, we were playing engaged and we realized that we’re in love.”

The eldest Jones brother sighs. He meets Emma’s eyes. “I told him this would happen but he didn’t believe me.”

Emma laughs. “I think everyone knew except for us this whole time.”

“I’m happy for you.” Liam smiles, genuine. “But I hope this doesn’t mean I lose my brother and my new sister to distance.”

“Move with me.” Killian says. “We’ve plenty of room in the castle. And if you don’t like the castle, there are plenty of places to live in Misthaven. There’s access to the ocean. Mountains. Pretty princesses you can marry.”

Emma grabs his hand and smiles softly when he winks at her. 

“I… that does sound appealing.” Liam says thoughtfully. “And I missed you sorely while you were gone.”

“Maybe come visit for a few days over the new year.” Emma suggests. “We have a private jet, so you wouldn’t have to pay to fly.”

Liam puts down the spatula in his hand. “Well, that about settles it in my mind. When do we leave?”

\+ + +

It’s a lot to take in.

They went from being friends at odds with each other, to admitting their love, to real, meaningful engagement over the course of a single conversation in under five minutes. But that doesn’t make this wrong by any stretch of the imagination.

No, Killian finds that it’s simpler than anything has ever felt. It’s almost as if the world has shifted into place and they’re finally in step with the rhythm of nature itself.

And yet, that night, Killian lies awake. It’s half four and he hasn’t been able to sleep since he woke out of a nightmare about what might happen when he and Emma return to Misthaven with Liam in tow. It isn’t that he’s afraid of Liam being in Misthaven… he’s worried about the reality of an engagement to a member of the royal family.

Emma sleeps peacefully beside him, her body turned away from him with the blankets having fallen to her hips with her movement in the night. Killian examines the way her hair bunches up and fans out against her pillow as he sits up and pulls the sheets up for her.

He climbs out of bed and shuffles toward the window in his bedroom that looks out at the city below. It’s still noisy, even at this hour of night. That’s one thing they didn’t have in Misthaven: the noise.

Killian starts to wonder if Emma feels like this too, or if being back here is where she truly envisions herself. 

There’s still a lot they need to talk about and sort through. Plenty they’re going to learn about each other as things move forward, especially with the council about to pry so deeply into his past that he’s worried she’s going to run from his side at the first sign of trouble.

“Are you okay?” Emma’s voice interrupts his thoughts. 

He turns. She’s wearing his oversized shirt and a sleepy, concerned smile with one eye still squinted shut from just being sound asleep. She sets a warm hand on his arm.

“Aye,” he shakes his head. “Just a bad dream.”

Emma frowns. “Oh.”

Killian wraps an arm around her and holds her close. He leaves a kiss to her forehead. “I didn’t mean to wake you.” 

“It’s okay.” Emma breathes. She looks up at him analytically. “There’s something else on your mind.”

He smiles softly, reaching up to play with her hair. “Aye. I suppose… this is our last night here, where I’ve lived for so long. Liam brought me from London to try and give me more opportunities when I was a teenager.” Sighing, he looks back out the window. “I’ll miss it.” Turning to Emma again, he can’t help but smile. “I’d miss you more, though, if things were different.”

She runs her hand up his chest, a small smile gracing her lips. “Come back to bed.”

On a sigh, he nods. “Alright.”

“What was your dream about?” Emma wonders as she peels back the sheets of his bed to climb under them. It’s quite jarring to see her in his bed, but after several nights of bed sharing back in Misthaven, he really wouldn’t have it any other way. 

Killian runs his hand over his head and stares silently at her, nervous that she’ll make fun of him for his fear. “Explaining _us_ to the council.”

For a moment, she adjusts, thinking about what he said, and then tiredly laughs at him. “Killian, it’s not going to be that bad.”

“It is though,” Killian insists as he scoots down in bed to be at her level. “This isn’t easy to explain.”

Emma’s quiet. She runs her fingers through his hair soothingly. “Well, we have each other. Even if the council can’t see that we’re being honest… we’ll still get married and do whatever we want to."

There is still so much that they need to talk about. So much that they need to decide. So much that he feels like he doesn’t know about her past. There are _years_ of her history that she’d kept from him, and while he feels like he has a better grasp on much of it now, he knows there’s more.

Now, though, isn’t the time to talk about such things. Maybe when they’re in Misthaven again, before their next appearance in front of the council, he’ll be able to learn the intricacies of Emma Nolan. 

“Do you want to know what _I_ was dreaming about?” Emma asks, her eyes half-lidded as she sleepily tucks her arms beneath her pillow.

He lifts a curious eyebrow. “What?”

A tiny smile on her lips, Emma whispers, “We were having a baby.”

His heart skips a couple of beats. Killian grins lopsidedly and lowers his voice. “Boy or girl?”

“Boy,” Emma replies, yawning softly.

“A boy?”

Emma hums warmly. “You were a nervous wreck.”

Killian chuckles at the thought, then softens a little. “In my dreams it’s always a girl.”

She wears a hint of a smile on her lips, as if she’s too tired to award him the whole thing. She closes her eyes and murmurs, “Sleep, Killian. We have a lot to get through before we can have any babies.”

Killian closes his eyes with a smile. He finds himself thinking about what they need to get through on their way to their future and realizes they haven’t even been on a date yet. It’s something they should probably fix as soon as humanly possible.

“Emma?”

She breathes deep and slow through her nose, practically already asleep, but she manages a quiet, “Hm?”

“Do you want to go on a date with me?”

She's silent for a few seconds. He feels her shift. She curls against him. “Thought you'd never ask.”


End file.
